Filed Under: Goldie

May 2013 Risque | New Stuff

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

5/30/13 Depending upon where you happen to be in the country, it could be excellent weather for skiing, a really good idea to find a basement somewhere to hide in so you don’t blow away, or a darned fine time of year to go swimming with Kristal Summers and her friends. As you shall see, they always bring a lot of inflatable floating devices to help add to the fun, so you won’t need to worry about that. Oh, and they also bring a lot of pool toys too. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Summer Cummings Exclusive Video, Goldie Exclusive Video]
Goldie and the Shark - An Adult Story
5/23/13 Walk a mile in their shoes. … Theoretically that constitutes pithy and wise advice. … Of course like all advice, the people that most need it happen to be exactly the ones least likely to give it any credence, which pretty much explains why philosophers do not rule at the top of the income ladder in America. Fortunately around here, our pearls of wisdom involve, well, a different sort of gem altogether. [STAR TAGS: Asia Carrera Video, Celeste Video]
A Philosophical Choice
5/16/13 Truly creative people could take a bunch of apparently disparate groups of elements and weave them into a cohesive and captivating presentation. And by golly, if we could have found any we’d have put them to task this time around. Say, for example, that one needs to bring together Cytherea naked in the office, haiku poetry, and the general state of being “Lucky” in adult entertainment. One of those truly creative people sure would have been handy today. [STAR TAGS: Lucky Starr, Cytherea]
Office Past, but Not Forgotten
5/9/13 You may have noticed in your personal ruminations over the years that the difference between “public” and “pubic” comes down to one little consonant. And yet if you show your pubic in public you will probably get arrested. That hardly seems fair if you think about it that way, right? In our diversion today we discuss one “L” of a problem, as you might have guessed, although to be honest, you might like the pictures best. Some people seem to. [STAR TAGS: Dee, Rayveness Video, Whitney Wonders Video]
Dee
5/5/13 Over at Risqué we maintain a very liberal attitude when it comes to holidays, probably because we happen to all be big fans of anything that involves a “celebration” in any sort of manner. Even it does not happen to be one of those extra special events — those that involve presents of course — we pretty much sign up for the event. After all, what could be better than time away from work involving a big ol’ party, lots of music, dancing, eating and drinking? … Well, appreciating the event with Dee and one of the very early Risqué favourites comes to mind, but not everyone can do that. … Or can they? [STAR TAGS: Dee, Alicia Rio Video, Gabrielle Video, Tess Newhart Video]
Dee
5/1/13 Hmm. … So how can we put this without terrifying everyone, assuming we’re all too young to remember the War of the Worlds radio broadcast? … “Danger, Will Robinson!” … “I have a bad feeling about this.” … Or perhaps the ever-popular, and date-appropriate in this case, “Mayday! Mayday!” … Whatever way you hear it, we cannot get around the fact that Kristal Summers has taken a once amazingly shy fan and turned him into a porn performer. And D.Minion somehow thinks that graphic artists all know how to paint ceilings, but that’s not really the point today in our Maverick Courage awe. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Maverick Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
Braver than Bond, James Bond

February 2013 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

2/26/13 Those of you that have been desperately waiting for D.Minion’s coverage of Day Four of the 2013 AEE can finally shout with joy. Those of you that have not been desperately waiting, well, that’s what we offer up today anyway. Feel free to catch the last of the 2,000+ hours of coverage on the NFL combine if you remain confused about what truly boring means. [FEATURED TAGS: AEE 2013, Shayla LaVeaux, Julia Ann, Nina Hartley, Eva Angelina, Skin Diamond, Cytherea Exclusive Video]
For the record, we are not shocked. Sad, maybe.
2/21/13 What do you get when you combine three very busty women in teeny-tiny bikinis, a hot California day, a secluded “lawn,” and a grimy automobile? Well, if you’re D.Minion — and Kristal Summers happens to be one of those three women — you get excellent web site content (accent at the first). Not surprisingly, afternoons like this tend to make everyone concerned content (accent on the second syllable) as well. Very large breasts are all well and good, but don’t you just love brazen word play? [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Summer Cummings Exclusive Video, Goldie Exclusive Video, Jessica Jensen, Sarah Jane, Lucy Lane, 247AdultStars.com]
Beyond a Shadow of a Route
2/18/13 Those of you keeping track or our weekly story roll-outs might have been desperately looking forward to D.Minion’s account of Day Three at the AEE 2013. Sadly, for you, D.Minion did not actually attend the convention on this day, because she decided to go to a porn shoot with Shayla. Consequently we had to come up with another plan. Those not desperately looking forward to more AEE coverage will be thrilled. But we should probably keep that to ourselves, should D.Minion enter the room. [FEATURED TAGS: Cheyenne Silver, Dee, Aaliyah Love, Serena Ali, Summer Knight Video, Tiffany Mynx Video] 
Our Beaches of Cheyenne
2/14/13 What would Valentine’s Day be without being able to watch two adult stars masturbate each other? Of course we do not wish to discourage more traditional forms of romance, but if you can work Shayla LaVeaux and Kristal Summers into your evening, you might be surprised what comes up — or maybe not, come to think of it. At any rate, we probably will not be able to do any television commercials for this activity any time soon, but in our opinion this beats the heck out of candy and flowers. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Cytherea]
Love is in the Air
2/11/13 One of the “dating” sites recently published a survey wherein they concluded that 12% of women, and 45% of men, feel sex on the first date to be appropriate. From this bit of knowledge, we determined that either 33% of the men are having sex with each other, or those 12% of women are having a lot of first dates. Statistical play aside, it can be slightly disconcerting to delve too far into another person’s mind — a belief we support skillfully in Day Two of D.Minion’s 2013 Adult Entertainment Expo experience. [FEATURED TAGS: AEE 2013, Christy Canyon, Ginger Lynn, Julia Ann, Alana Evans, Sunset Thomas Exclusive Video, Shayla LaVeaux, Misty Stone, Jessica Drake Exclusive Video]
Not Actually a “Donut,” Per Se
2/7/13 If you lack an ability to completely change your plans at the last possible second, well, then you should probably not come to work for any of the Risqué Commune sites. Of course if you do not work for any of the Risqué Commune sites, then you will miss out on a lot of fun. Then again, we do tend to tease our friends a bit mercilessly at times, and once we start, even moving halfway around the world to London will not necessarily stop us. Ask Maverick. [FEATURED TAGS: Kylie Ireland, Raylene, AEE 2013 Exclusive Video, Shayla LaVeaux, Kristal Summers, Francesca Le’, Lexi Love, Christy Monroe, Riley Reid, 247AdultStars.com]
Unnecessary Instructions
2/5/13 A new year brings about a new Adult Entertainment Expo, and this year brings about yet another attempt at handling the idiosyncrasies of D.Minion. Of course that concept remains a questionable goal when the retention of sanity comes into consideration as well, but Shayla LaVeaux and Kristal Summers in attendance this time at least help ameliorate the effects of rampant confusion. Of course a sex toy that requires one to run around in a circle in order to use it seems pretty silly, but maybe we just don’t see the big picture. [FEATURED TAGS: AEE 2013, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Julia Ann, Francesca Le’, Alexandra Silk]
Monitoring Kristal Summers
2/2/13 According to the rampant advertisements, CBS plans to run a “special” episode of Hawaii Five-O this week by filming a modern take on an old popular script. Strange, but we have been doing that sort of thing for years around here. Ever wonder why CBS never hires us to consult on the programming decisions? Well, it could be that we tend to throw Kristal Summers, Dee, and Kylie Ireland (and many other people) into orgies when we program. Networks can be such fuddy-duddies. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers, Dee, Kylie Ireland, Nikita Denise, Serenity, Christi Lake]
Dee and Kristal — Not Fuddy-Duddy at All

November 2012 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

11/29/12

In a wild fit of traditional journalistic glee, we set about actually researching a topic. We set out our questions. We found an expert in the field. We conducted an interview. We took careful notes before transcribing our masterpiece. … So that fact that we just happened to be asking Dee about the relative merits of computer geeks could have had something to do with our enthusiasm, but we don’t really get a chance to use the word journalistic around here very often, so we’re still happy. [FEATURED TAGS: Dee Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

Decoding Dee - Delightfully
11/26/12

We make ourselves feel better by believing that “all things happen for a reason,” but would we not all feel better that when things do happen they include this reason along with the event as a handy explanation? Of course we habitually eschew the morose at risqué and our bright side invariably includes beautiful naked women, so we’re thinking the relevant deities might not feel much of a need for justification in our case. … That probably makes sense, as does Alexis Ford in this context. [FEATURED TAGS: Alexis Ford Video, Ayla Marie]

Alexis Ford
11/24/12

Some clever person in the office noted that “Assassin” — when used in the risqué realm — sounds more like a three-way between a guy and two anal-friendly women than it does either a not very nice person or a video game. Then a different clever person pointed out that it could perhaps more easily refer to basically any scene in a gay male movie. That pretty much covered our “analysis” of the whole Ass-Ass-In concept, so we moved along to fixing a slight oversight in the shayla.com post a couple of days ago, helpfully this time with the assistance of Keri Windsor and a Kylie Ireland archive. All in all, Keri and Kylie were a lot more fun to consider that gay sex scenes. Of course we’re undoubtedly biased. [FEATURED TAGS: Keri Windsor, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Kylie Ireland, Michael Ninn]

Keri
11/22/12

It may come as a bit of a surprise, but as a group we do not tend to be “gamers” in this office. New people always bring interesting new things into our lives, though, and thus we have recently learned that the new Assassin’s Creed III features the British military as the villains in the adventure. Thanksgiving seemed like the perfect chance for us to assure Maverick and his countrymen and women that nobody asked us about this decision before they did it. Obviously we would have simply deferred to Shayla, and she seems very friendly with new people. You can observe inputs (as it were) from both Mav and Shayla as you try to avoid the inevitable food comas later in the day. … Do save room for pie, however. Life’s short. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Anna Joy Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

Excellent Foreign Relations
11/19/12

Dear and Decidedly Desirable Dee has determined to rejoin our (dare we say dysfunctional) Digital Division, and we welcome her back to the fold with … well, sadly nothing that starts with the letter “D” as it turns out. What we lacked in completing the alliterative avenue, however, we more than make up for with Dee’s request at a “redux” of some of her earliest Risqué Commune work — this time of the DP variety as a matter of fact. Speaking of Dee’s folds[FEATURED TAGS: Dee Video, Tina Tyler, Michael Ninn]

Dee's Desires Unfolding, As it Were
11/17/12

If you have three C’s and a pair of D’s you probably have Cytherea on the Central Coast — topless. Of course you could have Cytherea and that weird triple-breasted woman from the old Star Trek episode, but none of us will admit to knowing anything at all about old Star Trek episodes, so let’s just go with the Cytherea Topless at a friend’s house bit. By the way, does anyone know the trouble with tribbles? [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Summer Cummings Exclusive Video]

Cytherea Victorious.
11/13/12

Other than our friends Ernest Greene and Kylie Ireland, we can’t really think of very many people that think foreplay requires a fine collection of soft ropes, assorted gags (not the funny kind), and various incarnations of whipping devices. It seems, though, that we need to add Summer Cummings into that group, as she aptly demonstrates today with the buxom assistance of Kristal Summers. One thing we have learned, case in point via D.Minion today, if you want to make very large breasts look even larger, ropes can assist you. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Summer Cummings Exclusive Video, Goldie]

Kristal Summers
11/10/12

Ah, politics. … We decided to transition from the political world at least slightly with a memorable dip into the fantasy pool with Cytherea. As burglars go, one could think of a lot worse suspects to catch outside there home in the dead of night seems obvious. Of course the thing about politics that perhaps set it apart has to be that half the people think it IS fantasy, and the other half — generally the losers — wish with all their hearts that it were. Naturally our industry remains particularly well suited for the arena, however. After all, we’re all used to strange bedfellows. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea]

Flesh on Flashlight
11/7/12

Regardless of how an election turns out, you always end up with two primary groups of people. One will be running around spouting brief exclamations such as, “Yippee!” (or in our case, “What Ho!”). And you will be able to quickly pick out the other collection of individuals by their glum faces and glazed stares that convey a distinct “How the hell did this happen?” feel. While the woulda, shoulda, coulda faction decides which lawyers to hire, we have decided to move along with Kristal Summers, her activities being particularly pertinent today. As painful as today may feel for the losing sides right now, however, we would still advise them to cherish these feelings. Wait until they get the money estimates from the attorneys. That’ll put a whole new meaning on woulda, shoulda, coulda … . [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Video, Cytherea]

Kristal
11/5/12

Unlike all the television commercials you have grown completely sick of over the last three months (or longer, depending) we do not actually care for whom or what you vote for tomorrow. We do, however, care a great deal about whether you vote at all. Even putting aside all the potentially viable arguments that your one vote will not make any difference because by nightfall we often “know” who won anyway, voting serves a vital public interest. You may in fact affect local elections or propositions, after all, and besides, you could find it very useful in the coming weeks and months. Even if your side loses, you can always say later when everything runs amok, “Hey. It’s not my fault. I voted the other way.” [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video, Erica McLean Video]

Shayla
11/1/12

Rarely can a vast majority of people agree on anything, but it seems safe to say that regardless of one’s political affiliations, we are ALL tired of all the television commercials telling us how we should feel. In the background of one local spot this week, though, we spied a poster on the wall behind some woman talking about something or other. At this point we have no idea what she was for or against, but the poster said, “When you’re up to your ass in alligators, it’s difficult to remind yourself that your initial objective was to drain the swamp.” We feature our own political correspondent today in Kylie Ireland, and we do plan to ask her what the current posters on her walls say. How did people live before TIVO? That must have been hard. [FEATURED TAGS: Kylie Ireland]

Kylie

October 2012 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

10/31/12

You know what might be really fun tonight? Send someone else out to beg for tooth decay with the whiny ones while you stay home and think deeply political thoughts. … Well, Julia Ann and Samantha Ryan do drop by, and we did indeed provide the necessary political fodder, but you will have to decide for yourself how to proceed. That’s what the Democratic process is all about, right? Even if you decide not to be overly political today, you can feel good about stealing the candy later. After all, think how much you’ll be saving in dental bills. See? It’s all in how you look at it. [FEATURED TAGS: Julia Ann Video, Samantha Ryan Video]

Julia and Samantha Performing Oral Examinations
10/30/12

Views vary widely regarding the topic of television in general, but it would be difficult to argue that whatever the shortcomings (or “evil” perhaps) a great many positive influences have sprung from the little box. Many a cultural wave has begun via some memorable line springing forth from a fictional character on TV. Despite this, dangers lurk, and we must remain vigilant in our filtering of the freely flowing electronic data. Case in point: On a recent rerun of 2 Broke Girls an overly jubilant protagonist exclaims (more than a few times), “Yeah, I have a tiny little dog, and I carry her everywhere with me. So what?” … Of all the wonderful lines in all the history of television, guess which one D.Minion has learned. Fortunately all of us have Shayla and Maverick to distract us today. [FEATURED TAGS: Heather Vuur, Heather Vandeven, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Natalia Forrest Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

gun case
10/23/12

Depending upon at what point along the time spectrum you happen to be visiting here, you may have found us in catch-up mode. According to popular theory here, all of the helpful little elves have set out North early this year because Santa has wonderful things in store for us all. … So that’s the story we have decided to go with, not that anyone will pay much attention once they bop off to watch Cytherea douse a vanity anyway. Just remember: We all know ’tis the season to be scary first, right? [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea]

Cytherea Sans Stirrups
10/18/12

Our gang pretty much falls into the “live and let live” camp. As long as it takes place between consenting adults, and no one gets hurt in the process, we all feel fine about it. We can’t go so far as to say we honestly understand it all, but whatever else its form takes, sexuality has many, many faces. Summer Cummings, her friend Goldie, and our own Kristal Summers serve as fetching tour guides today, as we learn an important lesson: It takes all kinds of people to make a world.

Kristal, Goldie, and Summer
10/12/12

Times change. Like many things we don’t tend to notice necessarily, because we live life every day, thus making it difficult to maintain objectivity regarding society in any reasonable “macro” sense. This week, however, both Maverick and Shayla have done their part to add perspective. Thankfully 247AdultStars chose Cate Harrington to provide the nudity and solo celebration rather than Mav, we should note. Shayla, of course, remains quite capable of handling those duties herself. As for our inimitable contribution, you will have to draw your own conclusions. Times change. And silence remains golden. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Summer Cummings Exclusive Video, Goldie Exclusive Video]

Shayla - in Stone Cold SEXY
10/8/12

In fourteen hundred and ninety-two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. At some later point government officials decided to create a national holiday celebrating “the day” he discovered, well, the Bahamas, technically. Poor Chris had more things to lament than historical inaccuracy, as it would turn out, though. Had he only sailed 520 years later, he could have met Julia Ann on her birthday. True, he would probably learn more about “spicy” than spice, per se, but he would never have been in such a hurry to sail back to see the Queen of Spain either. That might have worked out better for him. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Cate Harrington Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

An Excellent Gift, if You Can Find It
10/5/13

Two days ago marked the 25th anniversary of the release of possibly the best movie ever made, The Princess Bride. So there might be some debate on that “best ever” part, as we sort of forgot about it in our excitement over London Keyes and her Hero. … Then we forgot to put that Hero photo in London’s story, a fact we conveniently blame on our excitement looking forward to Tori Black today. It’s very complicated here. We’re going to rest for the weekend. Have fun storming the castle.[FEATURED TAGS: Juli Ashton, Tori Black]

Tori Black
10/3/12

Strange as it may seem to some people around here (not to name names, but hers rhymes with “We Minion”) not everyone celebrates the new fall season on network television. Let’s get real. There are books, museums, art galleries … and besides, the NFL started a month ago. We’re busy. As befitting her penchant, however, this unnamed person gives a compelling argument to pay attention to popular crime dramas via the critical assistance of London Keyes. (Don’t you wonder if London went to the Olympics last summer and felt redundant?) [FEATURED TAGS: Dee Exclusive Video, London Keys Video]

London’s Hero