Filed Under: Kayden Kross

April 2011 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

4/30/11

So apparently they had this big wedding yesterday, and insane people over here stayed up until all hours of the morning just to watch it on TV? Well, we can’t say that this makes any sense to us California folks, but then we’ve heard the same thing said about us from other parts of the country. Did you ever embrace a reflective moment and think about just how you ended up where you did in your life? Presumably people in prison do this with some regularity, but fortunately today we’re not talking about weddings or incarceration – either of these sad situations. Today we sit down with Shayla and consider the “Origins of Porn Woman” and be honestly thrilled that the entire world doesn’t watch everything we do. Seriously. That sounds icky, right? [FEATURED TAGS: Alexis DeVell, AEE 2011, Shayla LaVeaux, Julia Ann, Cheyenne Silver, Inari Vachs, Tori Black, Tanya Tate, Phoenix Marie, Bobbi Starr, Andy San Dimas, Jesse Jane, Shy Love, Selena Rose, Natasha Nice, Kayden Kross, Jessica Drake, Riley Steele, Dana DeArmond, Bree Olsen, Prinzzess, Lupe Fuentes, Joanna Angel, Anna Lovato, Jynx Maze, Kristen Rose, Lexi Belle, Breanne Benson, Nina Hartley, Monique Alexander, Stoya, Andy San Dimas, Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com

The DeVell Made Us Do It
4/28/11

You know what colloquialisms are we assume? OK. So most of us have at least heard the word, and we probably have some vague idea of the meaning, although that may or may not be true. After all, it’s not like you have occasion to throw that particular English language tidbit into a conversation every day. And if you have one thing, like a colloquialism, for example, don’t sound principles of physics dictate that its direct opposite be possible too? So what’s the opposite of a colloquialism? … If you’re confused, you’ve now perfectly prepared yourself to match our condition today, so all you Members can now feel free to enter. On the upside, we do have Renee Perez playing in the shower this time around, and basically that’s not very confusing at all. [FEATURED TAGS: Renee Perez Video, Michael Ninn]

Renee Perez, Disconcerting, but not Confusing
4/22/11

There are many, many ways to say Happy Birthday across the globe, yet all of them mean, “Gosh, you’re even older than you were yesterday.” As our friends get older, we have noticed a tendency to buy them gifts that we hope to get back in inheritance, though, but that’s OK, right? We should be practical after all. Also, we’re going to stop writing now so that El Jefe doesn’t have enough clues to figure out which of us wrote this introduction. Practical … [FEATURED TAGS: Tanya Cox, “The Snatch Game” ]

Tanya a la Mav - Good Dessert When You Can Get It
4/21/11

Just in case you’re ever curious, you should know that the only people that ever win in a lawsuit are the lawyers. Legal fights beat you up financially, emotionally, and depending upon how long they drag on, even spiritually. They’re not fun. Sadly, however, they are sometimes necessary. As we understand it, you’ve got to stand for something or you’ll fall for anything. All in all, the only thing you really learn from lawsuits boils down to an addition to your list of people with whom you never want to have to see ever again in your life. Sometimes the lawyers don’t end up being first on that list, but they always make the list for sure. Even for attorneys, though, all good things must come to an end, and eventually even the most acrimonious of disputes reaches some form of resolution. Today would be such a day. … Whew. [FEATURED TAGS: Vicca, Nikita, Juli Ashton, Felecia, Anna Malle, Asia Carrera, Ron Jeremy, Ninn Video, Michael Ninn]

Nikita in an Act of Little Dispute
4/18/19

Most of us would agree that only a few things in life can annoy us as much as paying taxes. We all see the need for them in the abstract, and quite honestly see the value in government services and the philanthropic concepts of helping those less fortunate than ourselves. When theory crashes into personal reality, however, you can almost hear a universal whining. If you don’t believe that just listen to the richest 10% of the people in the country bellow and start talking about the President’s citizenship every time he dares suggest they should probably try to contribute a little more to help the country get out of its economic mess – that he didn’t create, by the way, but let’s not get too bogged down in politics. … In that non-political spirit we’re dishing up our own risque brand of tax relief today. We’d be willing to bet that if you love it or hate it, you’re decision will have nothing whatsoever to with your party affiliation. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Lylith LaVey]

Cytherea Demonstrating that Some Jobs are Better Than Others
4/15/11

Does anyone else wonder why today doesn’t qualify as Tax Day, even though it’s a Friday and not a weekend? Nope. We didn’t either. We just said, “Whoopie! We get extra time this year!” … Of course none of us really need the extra time because we always do our taxes in January so we don’t even have to worry about it anymore. Yep. That’s our story, and we’re stickin’ to it. … You’ll find other words (and pictures) of wisdom in A Dawning today as well. What an excellent Friday. [FEATURED TAGS: Audrey Hollander, Heather Vuur, Heather Vandeven, Jassie, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Michael Ninn]

Jassie - Containing her Glee
4/12/11

We would love to say that we spend hours and hours thinking up clever titles for our ever-so-insightful commentary on the risque commune sites, but that wouldn’t technically be true. Generally someone just pops off with something, the others laugh, and that’s what we go with. Sometimes, though, a couple of very good ideas get thrown into the mix, and then we have a debate, granted about the silliest of things. (That’s what Americans do, as any analysis of professional sports or politics will clearly illustrate.) Today we had “Sheen without Luster” as well as “Sheen and Lust Her” as options that we just couldn’t reach consensus on. D.Minion said she’d decide, since it was her story, after all. … Naturally D.Minion picked a third title. … It’s good to be Queen. We’re not so sure about being a Goddess, however.  [FEATURED TAGS: Capri Anderson, Bree Olsen Video]

Capri Anderson: A Goddess Spurned
4/6/11

Back before he started making sausage, Jimmy Dean recorded a song with a chorus that began, “I won’t go huntin’ with you, Jake, but I’ll go chasin’ women.” Most of you will probably be glad to hear that this does not happen to be the song in which you can find Shayla naked in the music video. That said, as between early 1950’s country music – Ice T’s “Body Count” – and sausage, we can’t honestly say which we’d like to see made less. Shayla dancing naked is always good, however. [FEATURED TAGS: Justine Joli]

It's Art. Honest.
4/3/11

Last night we learned the Butler did it, if UConn believe that. … And if you don’t follow college basketball, or if you happen to be reading this years from now, that will make no sense at all. Fortunately, sexy women do tend toward the timeless and universally understood, so don’t worry yourself too much about the “strangest of the strange” around here. Both Shayla LaVeaux and Cheyenne Silver give reports today on the most recent AEE, and 247AdultStars chimes in with “visitors” Lon and D.Minion as well. All it all it’s very confusing. So go slowly and remember to breathe. Ice cream might help too. … And for all you authors that hurried your reports in because we were going to publish this a couple of days ago … um … April Fool’s. (Hey we couldn’t have used the amazingly clever and hysterical Butler/UConn comment on April 1st. See? Things tend to work out.) [FEATURED TAGS: AEE 2011, Shayla LaVeaux, Cheyenne Silver, Cytherea, Katsuni, Prinzzess, Alektra Blue, Syren, Exclusive Video]

Cheyenne Silver & Prinzzess - Fools be They NOT

February 2011 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

2/27/11

Of course we could have just let everyone know that Maverick has his new post up on 247AdultStars.com but then we would have missed out to talk about Cheyenne Silver some more. With all the various negotiations going on around the country, not all of them as newsworthy as the NFL CBA probably, we’ve been refreshing our memories on the classic strategy recommended for “The Prisoner’s Dilemma” around here. Theoretically we should have some news to finally relate in the coming month, but for now you can See How Silver Shines and try not to feel too sorry about when millionaires have to fight with billionaires. For our part, we’ll continue to hope that we won’t have to bone up on Sun Tzu and Machiavelli. [FEATURED TAGS:AEE 2011, Cheyenne Silver, Faye Reagan, Gianna Michaels, Gina Lynn, Bree Olsen, Tanya Tate, Kaylani Lei, Lupe Fuentes, Jessica Drake, Bobbi Starr, Lexi Belle, Nina Hartley, Inari Vachs, Tara Lynn Foxx, Tori Black, Riley Steele, Jesse Jane,Asa Akira, JustineJoli, MoniqueAlexander, Adrenalynn, Alexis Ford, Kayden Kross,Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

Love in an Elevator
2/24/11

New words enter the English language all the time. We all now use “tweet” in a way entirely different from its traditional associations, for example. Some words appear entirely out of nowhere. You’d be hard pressed to find a person on the planet now that doesn’t know “Google” as both a noun and a verb now. Heck, they even had a big televised “event” when the Oxford American College Dictionary added Rachel Ray’s “EVOO” (Extra-Virgin Olive Oil) to its listings a couple of years ago. Still, with all of that it would be a mistake to ignore some rarely used, yet nevertheless classic, words when they fit a situation. Take for example Matriarch. And then apply it to Shayla LaVeaux. That’s what we do today at least. … And after you’re done enjoying the story (and probably the lesbian videos featuring Shayla, Juli Ashton, Keri Windsor, and Dee) then you can think about what “Extra-Virgin” might mean in our context. That seems to be a tricky one. [FEATURED TAGS:Cheyenne Silver, Shayla LaVeaux Video,Jessica Drake, Rayveness, Skye Blue, Juli Ashton Video, Keri Windsor Video, Dee Video]

Cheyenne Silver, jessica drake, & Shayla LaVeaux — Many, Many Words Describe Them
2/21/11

All of us recognize Los Angeles as pretty much the Land of Celebrities, but that fact can still be rather surprising on occasion. For example, we’re not sure exactly which celebrities we might have expected to see sitting courtside at the NBA All-Star Game yesterday, but honestly Stevie Wonder would have been really far down the list of potentials. Of course he did have a guy next to him that seemed to be providing a personal play by play. Still, it does seem an odd choice, even for a rich guy. Now should he have wanted to sit courtside while Cytherea masturbates in a stairwell, that would have made perfect sense to us. Life’s just a matter of perspective, isn’t it? [FEATURED TAGS:Cytherea]

Cytherea Rounding up the Spectators
2/19/11

Have you ever driven through a particularly bad thunderstorm and had it break a brand new windshield? Well, if you haven’t we can assure you that it makes for a rather disconcerting conclusion of a journey. Sometimes you just have to deal with unpleasantness in life. Of course, when you work in the adult movie business, terms like “uncomfortable” can take on a dynamically different meaning as today’s example with Sasha Heart should demonstrate. On the other hand, the experience did provide us with a handy title for the episode: Oh, Hail No! … If you can’t make lemonade out of life’s little quirks, at least try to smile through the refraction. [FEATURED TAGS:Ron Jeremy, Sasha Heart, Video, Erica McLean]

Don't Panic: This is Not Sasha Heart
2/17/11

Remember how happy you were when you finally reached the light at the end of the tunnel and it did not in fact turn out to be a train? Well our conclusion of the Dee at KSEX Saga falls into that category, since now we can move along to if not more interesting, at least different, episodes in the Life of Dee. Also, it happens to be her birthday today, and this seemed like a wonderful way to celebrate it. After all we want to keep Dee happy since we might want to get on another ride with her soon. Face it: Not all tunnels are created equal. [FEATURED TAGS:KSEX Radio, Dee Video, Juli Ashton Video]

Dee Preparing Suitably for the Finale - Unsuited, As It Were
2/14/11

Our not yet venerable, but certainly less than spry D.Minion weighs in on love this time around, and predictably you’ll need to wade through a bit of the “aren’t puppies wonderful” prose. On the upside, those parts remain amazingly easy to skip. We also get a little insight into porn star love courtesy, Juli Ashton, Julia Ann, Devinn Lane, and one quite fortunate fellow, and that beats the heck out of Puppy Love, truth be told. Finally we should wish 247AdultStars.com an official Happy Birthday today, which sort of wraps the whole love and happiness bit up into a nice adorable package. Of course “nice, adorable, package” isn’t ever what a guy really wants to hear from any woman, let alone one he loves. However, if she has beautiful porn star friends, we’re willing to forgive a lot. Men are so easy. [FEATURED TAGS:Julia Ann Exclusive Video, Melissa Monet, Devinn Lane, Juli Ashton]

Julia Ann, Juli Ashton, Devinn Lane - Quite Loveable All
2/10/11

Think about how much nicer it would be if it were really warm where you are. And then think about Shayla and three of her naked female friends joining you to cool off (or heat up, whatever). … And then think about Jeannie C. Riley. … Yeah, it confused us too. But the tropical lesbian fest makes sense, and it’s easy enough to ignore all the silly prose from the aging ones around here. In the spirit of things today, however, we did decide to offer up a thumbnail link that has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with D.Minion’s topic of the day – but it fits the Shayla one perfectly. Of course clearly it’s easy to get along with Shayla. [FEATURED TAGS:Shayla LaVeaux, Felecia, Selena Steele, Janie]

Inari Vachs. Helpful one, that.
2/6/11

You know what’s really cool about membership areas (well, at least when you have access to them)? You can look at these little bitty, admittedly quite confusing thumbnail images and at least hope they’ll be some explanation for them inside. While the NFL estimates somewhere over 150,000,000 will be watching the Super Bowl today, we don’t anticipate being quite that crowded. On the other hand, they just have a bunch of sweaty men, and we have a sweaty Cytherea. We win. … We also have perhaps the very best video ever taken of “Life at a Convention” – admittedly enhanced with some very festive polka music. Gosh, we win again. [FEATURED TAGS:Dee, Cytherea Exclusive Video, Jessica Drake Exclusive Video]

Weather or Not, To Be (Dee) Actually
2/1/11

Apparently over 100 million people find themselves bracing for a brutal winter storm today. And not one of them works in the office here in Southern California. Imagine that. Almost all of us have families elsewhere that generally refer to our place of domicile with some variation of the “Land of Fruits and Nuts” comment, though. (And they don’t mean anything at all having to do with healthy food items, in case you couldn’t tell.) Still, the whole “cultural” issue came to mind, and seemed like a fine launching point for today. If nothing else, our “Jean Pool” approach will distract you from shoveling snow. People still do that we hear. … Odd. [FEATURED TAGS:Shayla LaVeaux Video, Juli Ashton, Keri Windsor, Gary Gray (Helmetcam Man)]

The Advanced Cleavage Catch

May 2010 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

5/30/10 Can you look back at any particular group of days in your life and think, “You know, that was really, really good … “? We assume that almost all of us can do that, and if you can’t, well we’re sincerely very sorry for you. That said, you should really get about setting up one of those times for yourself, and we’ve helpfully provided some suggestions here today. Just as a hint: It helps if you can bring along a few beautiful porn stars. Having someone else foot the bill turns out to be important too. Things definitely don’t go better with broke. [FEATURED TAGS: Vicca, Nikita, Lola, Doria, Heather Hunter, Lexus Locklear]
See? If you end up in jail, you should take Lexus Locklear with you.
5/28/10 Advertising Campaigns don’t usually set themselves up as themes in our little Risqué Commune world, but they do seem rather prevalent around here over the past month or so. Consequently, when we decided to keep plodding though all the Dee at KSEX Coverage, the slight (but ever-so-beautiful) bonus at the conclusion became interestingly appropriate. Also, assuming things go according to plan, we’ve now set the stage for a more significant Advertising Campaign Contribution in the future. Of course according to plan always seems to be the wild card around here. One thing about it, our lives are never boring. [FEATURED TAGS: KSEX Radio, Dee, Kinzie Kenner, Lexie L’Amour, Stella]
Dee Campaigning of a Different Sort
5/23/10 If you’ll pardon the potentially politically incorrect influence for a moment, we’ll tell you that although we’ve shown all manner of “chicks” around here, this might be the first time we’ve actually shown you chickens. And what, you might wonder, do chickens have to do with Maverick’s observations (and various levels of stalking) with Days 3 & 4 of the most recent AEE? Well, we would tell you, should we deign to answer such a reasonable question, not so much really. On the other hand in this case they do work as a metaphor for the condition that arises when you take a boy out of his normal element and he seeks to commune with nature. Being potentially politically incorrect can be pretty deep it seems. [FEATURED TAGS: AdultStars247.com, Lexi Love, Tori Black, Nyomi Banxxx, Gina Lynn, Nina Hartley, Bree Olsen, Sasha Grey, Jana Jordan, Belladonna, Sunny Lane, Kaylani Lei, Kayden Kross, Monique Alexander, Alexis Texas, Raven Alexis, Sunset Thomas, Shauna Sand, Kelli McCarty, Sunny Leone, AJ Bailey, Riley Steele, Julia Ann, Raylene, Teagan Presley, Exclusive Video]
It's a chicken. Did you think we were kidding?
5/20/10 I wanted to call this “Cytherea Flies Solo Anew” but D.Minion said that would be overly erudite. (Yeah, she talks like that.) Of course “anew” she wouldn’t go for it. … Now how’s that for not overly erudite? … We should probably get to the story. It’s always a bit scary when we start making editorial comments before the author even gets a chance to start the actual article about which we sit posed to comment. … Hmm. Maybe we can be overly erudite. … Ah, well, Too erudite is human. To eschew sublime.  [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Exclusive Video ]
Cytherea Preparing for Take-Off
5/14/10 Confounded you may be by the conceptual alliteration levied today, although you should find it fairly easy to ignore the intrusion into a part of your brain you weren’t seeking to stretch at this time. It’s the latest in the Shayla scenario, and that fairly well covers all the important part. Should you feel particularly erudite, you may also enjoy D.Minion’s Intelligence Quotient contribution, although we’ll tell you right up front that if you happen to be an English Major who grew up on a farm, it will enhance the likelihood of your success.  [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video, Brynn Tyler Video]
Lovin' Ms. LaVeaux
5/10/10 Quick to correct a cultural error, we are. And talk like Yoda, we might. On the other hand, in case you’re curious, we also understand The Trouble with Tribbles. Of course that doesn’t do much to explain the rather festive lesbian liaison we have on tap today between Paola Rey and Marlie Moore, but how much explaining does that really need anyway. Heck it’s probably in the part you just skip over anyway. For what it’s worth, we’d advise against that, honestly. “Once you start down the Dark Path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Consume you it will.”  [FEATURED TAGS: Paola Rey, Marlie Moore]
Paola and Marlie, Pre Festivities
5/8/10 Have you ever seriously considered doing something just because it sounds fun, even if pure logic would probably recommend against the idea? And then have you ever considered that this illogical idea probably sounds “fun” just because it will involve regular interaction with a spectacularly sexy woman? And have you cared? … Well, we’re big fans of sexy women around here, and although we haven’t quite “decided’ what precisely we’re going to do, odds seem good that you’ll enjoy the thought process here. [FEATURED TAGS: Audrey Hollander, Kimberly Kane, Madison Scott, Erica McLean]
More Spectacular in its Larger Version
5/5/10 Naturally we celebrate Cinco de Mayo every year around here. We’re deep believers in the benefits of cross-cultural understanding, the recognition of world history, and the progressive evolution that marks the ongoing transcendence of the human spirit as it seeks its peaceful nirvana. Also, we pretty much go for anything that includes a party with tequila and guacamole dip. Now our newest risqué office member put together the post for today, and we’ll freely admit that he may have missed the entirely accurate mark. Just as soon as we recover from the cerveza tomorrow we’re going to do a little bit of explaining to him too. Still, what we lack in technical accuracy we more than make up for in raucous conviviality. [FEATURED TAGS: Jessi Palmer Video]
Jessi Palmer Adding to the Fiesta
5/2/10 Porn Stars can actually teach us a lot. Now we’d be the first to admit that not everything they can teach us will turn out to be extraordinarily valuable on a regular basis, but any artisan can tell you that a lot of truly fine work in the world starts with simply possessing the right tools for the job. And let’s face it: Who can really tell us better how to handle uncomfortable questions or situations than a Porn Star? And given Dee’s attire during the contribution today, we’re reasonably certain you won’t care if you ever have a reason to put any of the more erudite recommendations to use anyway.  [FEATURED TAGS: Dee]
Not a Typical Teacher

March 2010 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

3/30/10

We called this entry about Tenaya “The Heart of Talk and Stroll” — well — because we’re just weird that way. In addition, we will occasionally plug 80’s bands because — well — honestly we have no idea. We can’t figure that one out ourselves most of the time, but it presumably makes somewhat more sense than the Rodney Carrington references you’ll also find in these pages. Nonetheless, when you’re showing a bit of Tenaya’s spectacular private life, nobody’s really going to read the title anyway, chances are. If you do read, however, you’ll learn even more about the lovely lass. Also, you’ll learn to enjoy words like nonetheless.  [STAR TAGS: Tenaya]

A Couple of Tenaya's Firm Things
3/24/10

Apparently they changed a flat tire, saw lots and lots of old friends that happen to make adult movies for a living, and ate fast foot. That would be the seriously abridged version of Lon’s Adult Entertainment Expo experience this year. However, if you have been fortunate enough to become a Member of any of the Risqué Commune avenues, you know how much we hate doing things too quickly when it comes to any adult behavior, so you can once again rest assured that we’ve provided insight and illustration you simply won’t find anywhere else. We prefer to think that other people all get it wrong, if you’re wondering how that often seems to be the case here. [STAR TAGS: Adult Entertainment Expo, Rayveness, Kylie Ireland, Jessica Drake, Monique Alexander, Julia Ann, Ginger Lynn, Kaylani Lei, Kirsten Price, Nina Hartley, Stormy Daniels, Cytherea Video, Exclusive Video]

Rayveness in an outfit not seen on the convention floor.
3/19/10

Purists among us might point out that we should probably have uploaded this particular “Celebrate the Irish” post a couple of days ago, but there are just way too many people out there dedicated to Tradition simply for the sake of Tradition. Don’t you think? … Consequently we’ve decided to march to our own drummer around here. (There’s a big shock, right?) And just as soon as we manage to find our drummer we’re going to start working out some new routines. You can count on it. … On a completely unrelated note, have you ever noticed that even if you’re not drinking green beer — on the beach — in the heat — after enough of it, all the people still seem to start turning various shades of green? … Science is interesting.  [STAR TAGS: Nikki Rhodes Video]

Irish Eyes are Smiling. Other Parts are Happy Too.
3/16/10

Recently it came to our attention that we do not say, “Oh, Bollocks!” nearly enough around the office. Consequently we have resolved to remedy this situation just as quickly as possible. (Technically we had to first resolve to have resolutions on days other than New Year’s, but why get bogged down in details really?) … And speaking of details, Maverick shares a great many of them today in his “Day 2 of the AEE” post on 247AdultStars. Sadly we didn’t actually find any “nonsense” or “rubbish” — which seems to be how dictionary.com defines “bollocks” for us — so we couldn’t use the term in the ever-pithy commentary on those posts from our leader. On the upside, the reference source did say that term often has a “vulgar” connotation, and that should be something we have no trouble working with around here. It’s good to have a plan.  [STAR TAGS: AdultStars247.com, Adult Entertainment Expo, Lexi Love, Katie Kox, Kayden Kross, Sasha Grey, AJ Bailey, Savanna Samson, Lexi Belle, Bree Olsen, Julia Ann, Exclusive Video]

Very Far From the Bottom of the Barrel
3/11/10

Some things are just filthy. Have you noticed? Sometimes, it seems, however, this appears to be the goal. Well, it’s good to have a plan, and Audrey Hollander does have a unique way of celebrating her birthday, we’ll give her that. Sometimes D.Minion doesn’t need to do much more than tell it like it was … [STAR TAGS: Lyla Lei, Audrey Hollander, Aurora Snow, Michael Ninn]

Aurora Snow ... Not Dressed for It
3/6/10

You can find many good reasons to live in Los Angeles, but the colorful people have to be at least near the top of every list. In this economy most big cities will have scroungy-looking people on street corners looking for some money for some reason or another. However, in LA last week we saw a guy with a sign that said, “Need $4.01 for a soy latte.” … Across the street from this fellow was another chap with a sign that said, “Gulf War Veteran. Need a WIFE. Will accept cash.” … You gotta love LA. They could never put the “reality” here on television and have anyone believe it. Speaking of which, we give another dose of our “too strange for prime time” reality with an update on Penny Flame and some “Sanity” advice from Dee. Try wrapping your head around that one. [STAR TAGS: Penny Flame Video, Charlie Laine, Monique Alexander]

This Happens All the Time in LA
3/2/10

So here’s the deal: D.Minion gets very, very excited when she gets to go on the road with one of the girls, and so her reports from these adventures tend to ramble a bit. In the piece that follows, we go from puppies to school girls, to the birthdays of 70’s television stars and how to get free lap dances at strip clubs. Consequently, we’ll give you a hint: In the first paragraph there is a picture of Dee. This will be the only picture accompanying the article proper. Just on the off chance that somebody might want to hit that handy-dandy camera icon at the top of the page, and jump to directly to the rest of the photos, that will be useful information to remember. … If you decide to exercise this option, however, and D.Minion ever asks you about it. Lie to her. … That’s what we do.  [STAR TAGS: Dee, Kristal Summers]

Dee's Assets, Carefully Covered. Probably.