8/31/10 | Did you ever see The Wedding Crashers? … Well we can assure you that you’ve never seen the concept explored quite the way that Cytherea does it. Come to think of it, Cy’s little “version” might have made a wonderful addition to the actual movie, and would even have contributed some exceptional comedic tension. … Of course if they had included this Cytherea bit, the movie probably wouldn’t have played in as many theaters as it did. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea] |
8/27/10 | Let’s say you’d really enjoy a job where all you have to do all day long boils down to taking pictures of Shayla LaVeaux naked. In that case odds seem good that you’d feel like you have a pretty darned good job. It would also mean, of course, that you have D.Minion’s job, and if you’re curious – at least the way she explains it – you’ll have to pry the job out of her cold, dead, fingers. Of course that would be another issue altogether. Still it always makes us happy when we can work a Constitutional allegory into an adult web site introduction, and let’s face it, a naked Shayla LaVeaux pretty much makes everybody happy. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux] |
8/25/10 | As much as it seems like we try to avoid current events around here, sometimes we just can’t ignore them. To wit, Lon noticed an amazingly relevant article in his local Las Vegas paper that could have deeply personal ramifications for all of us at the January convention. It brings into play the potential for pithy commentary from our British arm, via the reporting of Dear Maverick, and it may quell feelings of despair for a situation that last year we felt portended ill for our favorite bargain lodging on the Strip. … To make it a little more interesting, assuming it be possible that you’re not planning on attending AVN’s annual shin-dig, we have also popped in a few rather sultry photos of Inari Vachs in bright yellow thigh-high boots that we’ve had floating around the office for some time. That always brightens a day, and, besides, how many times do you really get to say “to wit” in life? [FEATURED TAGS: Inari Vachs] |
8/22/10 | We have formally resolved, you may be glad to hear, to keep putting the “fun” back in dysfunctional. … OK. So as a technical matter that falls more into the “analysis of our usual situation made by a visiting friend this past week” than it does the “resolution” category. Still, we can’t see anything particularly wrong with this approach to life, and we certainly can’t argue with the assessment. If nothing else, today’s editorial and accompanying view of obscure architecture illustrates our philosophy perfectly. Don’t you just love it when that happens? [FEATURED TAGS: Tenaya Video, Erica McLean Video] |
8/18/10 | You English majors out there may remember that the final line of The Great Gatsby reads, “So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.” Now if you’ve actually read the book you’ll probably be a little worried here, but we can assure you that D.Minion’s fond account of Vicca and Nikita happens to be a whole lot more cheery than the resolution with Jay Gatsby (or Nick Carraway, if you’re a stickler for literary details). Let’s face it: If you feel a need to look back on life, having two beautiful Russian women in it helps a whole heck of a lot. [FEATURED TAGS: Vicca, Nikita, Juli Ashton, Doria,Savannah, Gina Stasia, Diva, Alexandra Silk, Shelly Jones, Angela Ayers] |
8/13/10 | Now supposing you had a “leader” (of some sort or another) whose parents gave him the name “Lucky” at birth. You might be inclined to think that Friday the 13th could turn out to be atypically interesting days for folks that hang around with this chap, right? (Hey, after you’ve seen the name “Lucky” printed on an actual driver’s license, the whole leap into numerology and mythology really doesn’t take much. Trust us.) … At any rate, because of this special day, we decided to break our usual tradition and do back to back posts regarding the lovely Tenaya. It turns out the last entry stirred some feelings around here, and if an adult web site can’t share some stirring feelings with you, well what good are they anyway? [FEATURED TAGS: Tenaya] |
8/9/10 | Most of you know how much we love to celebrate holidays around here, so we just had to do something special this morning. … What holiday, you may wonder? … Why, naturally, it’s “eight, nine, ten” – and you don’t even have to be a history (or math) whiz to know that this just doesn’t happen very often. Odds are good we’ll be around for “nine, ten, eleven” and probably even “ten, eleven, twelve” – but after that all bets are off. If any of us are around for the next “eight, nine, ten” well, we’d better be a lot richer by then. That’s all we have to say. Well, except that we’re celebrating today with Tenaya. We should probably mention that. [FEATURED TAGS: Tenaya Video] |
8/7/10 | Kristal Summers makes a darned fine office assistant, an assessment you’ll likely agree with after today. Of course Kristal Summers makes a darned fine almost anything, so perhaps that’s not saying much. On the other hand, when you have an entire day devoted to Kristal, how much time do you really need to waste saying anything at all? [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers] |
8/3/10 | If you think of the lyrics “What EVA … Cocks Your Pistol, What EVA … Toots Your Whistle” and then you think of a clever parody of a classic Statler Brothers song, well, you’d have the same brain as exactly one person in the office here. If, however, when you think of EVA you think of “Angelina” why then you’d match everyone else. Depending upon whom you ask here, you’d either be a very savvy aficionado of adult movie fare, or woefully ignorant in your knowledge of 1970’s country music. You get to determine whether a failure in either area bothers you more as you go with D.Minion coincidentally on set with Eva Angelina. We should warn you: This will be one of those “better have a beer with you” sorts of posts. Maybe two. [FEATURED TAGS: Eva Angelina, Angela Stone, AJ Bailey, Joey Valentine, Wanda Curtis, Michael Ninn] |
Filed Under: Michael Ninn
June 2010 Risque | What’s New
… With appropriate credit to Garth:
Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff
6/30/10 | You know how comfortable old friends can be? When they happen to look like Shayla LaVeaux, and they happen to have Shayla’s decided openness about nudity in general, well, they make darn good house guests too. Of course Shayla happens to be much more than a pretty face, and she has some dandy ideas about excellent travel arrangements, as we learn today. She’s even gotten into the spirit of our liaison with our British bud Maverick, although we’d be willing to bet she’s going to win the flirting contest with pretty much anyone named “Lexi” that you’re likely to run across. As long as we get to watch, though, we don’t really care who wins. (Hey, sorry about that Mav.) [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Phoenix Ray, Evan Stone] |
6/26/10 | Oops! We’ve mentioned this before, but we really hold to the opinion that you should never let the boss at your place of employment actually do any important work. It’s just going to get messed up, either because they haven’t done this particular task for years, or (in a technology field like ours) they may well have never known how to do it in the first place. Consequently we’re putting up the picture set courtesy of Michael Ninn’s wonderful skills at still photography today, that actually should have gone with the story a couple of days ago. We suppose it’s nice that somebody noticed, and we do appreciate all those (occasionally annoying) “silver lining” people around here, but for their benefit, we felt obliged to close with this little bit of wisdom we’ve acquired over the years: When you wake up seemingly stuck in life’s same ol’ thing circle, you should never forget that not everyone who shows up is there to help you. [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Jordan, Jana Cova, Georgia Jones, Faye Reagan, Karlie Montana, Jennifer Dark, Michael Ninn] |
6/24/10 | Here’s something we learned this week: Hockey introduced the first testicular guard, the Cup, in 1874. The first helmet showed up in use in 1974. Consequently, this means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. That kind of adds a little perspective to evolution, doesn’t it? Speaking of evolution, that concept as it pertains to the personal relationships of porn stars actually mirrors the lives of the rest of us mere mortals more than you might think. Theoretically we’re continuing our analysis of the issue, this time benefited by “The Janas – Jordan and Cova” – not so much because they’re vital to the illustration as because they’re just really darned beautiful. One needs standards in life. And one needs to be able to define the logic behind those standards as one sees fit. [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Cova Video, Jana Jordan Video, Michael Ninn] |
6/20/10 | Most of us really hate doing something over again. Of course most of the time we don’t have Wendy Divine offering up some very good reasons to do so. We won’t belabor a rather mundane web coding point here, but if you want to read about how this all came about you can certainly do so. Of course if you just want to see the 225 rather impressive pictures of Wendy enjoying herself with Nick Manning, well that’s fine too. For what it’s worth, Nick seemed to be doing certain things over and over again, and he seemed fine with the concept. It’s really wonderful to make Wendy smile, actually. That’s probably what Nick was after. [FEATURED TAGS: Wendy Divine, Nick Manning] |
6/18/10 | Do you want to start an interesting conversation tonight? As you’re sitting down with your Significant Other to eat dinner, just try out this sentence and see where the conversation takes you: “So, if you had a clone, and I had sex with the clone, would that be cheating, since the clone is by definition an exact copy of you?” … OR … If you prefer to actually eat your food, as compared to wearing it, you might talk about the wonderful insights on Georgia Jones that you derived from the risque.com Members’ Area today. … OR … Maybe not. … This all comes down to how understanding your Significant Other happens to be, and doesn’t that just about sum up life perfectly? [FEATURED TAGS: Georgia Jones Video, Michael Ninn] |
6/13/10 | Apparently at least the East Coast newspapers haven’t learned a whole lot in the last 230+ years. It wasn’t exactly Bunker Hill, but when U.S. and England tied in a soccer match yesterday, the coverage in that part of the country celebrated like we’d actually won the contest. Fortunately we devote absolutely no time whatsoever trying to figure out why that might be as we instead delve into the “Bonus Evolution” of our own special Brit. … Seriously, we’re probably way too American to understand why people seem to get this excited about the World Cup anyway. It’s not like they’re playing football or anything. [FEATURED TAGS: AdultStars247, AVN Awards, AEE, Faye Reagan, Sasha Grey, Lexi Love, Exclusive Video] |
6/10/10 | Brandy. What a fine girl. In fact, what a good wife she would be. But D.Minion’s life, her love, her lady, is Marie. … Some days are just like this around here, and while we could apologize for the occasional pun and references to very old songs, it wouldn’t make them any less painful. Members have learned to either forgive or ignore us; we’ve never been quite sure which. … And if other adult sites don’t work in this fashion, well, We pity the fools. [FEATURED TAGS: Brandy] |
6/7/10 | If you look around and you notice a bride having sex with the groom and a priest in one room, and a couple of basically naked women cutting the heart out of a guy in another room, you’re either at a Kylie Ireland movie or one of our office parties. … OK. So we’ve never really killed anyone at an office party, but we did see what transpires when someone gives Kylie “artistic control” of certain parts of a movie, and then asks her to direct as well. … She ends up casting herself as the bride … and then that other stuff we just talked about happens. We call it A White (Trash) Wedding, because that’s the way we are. [FEATURED TAGS: Kylie Ireland] |
6/3/10 | What could possibly possess someone to travel to the middle of the some Fates-Forsaken desert in 100-degree heat? OK. So thirteen beautiful porn stars hanging around a swimming pool wearing itty-bitty bikinis might do it. … But not much else could, right? … Fortunately for us, we’re going with the thirteen beautiful porn stars scenario, and today we’re letting you in a little bit about how this all came about. We’re also packing sun screen and looking up on the internet how to fake sunstroke. Do you think porn stars give mouth-to-mouth if you have sunstroke? How about a hurt leg? … We can limp. [FEATURED TAGS: Monique Alexander Video, Belladonna Video, Stormy Daniels Video, Exclusive Video] |
April 2010 Risque | What’s New
… With appropriate credit to Garth:
Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff
4/30/10 | Quite a few NFL rookie training camps opened today, as we’re certain each of you knows, since listening to anything at all that concerns either upcoming primary elections or whatever the government in Washington D.C. – and which political party thinks the other one has been taken over by morons – has long since ceased being interesting. Well, in Denver (in case you missed this vital information) they had a whopping 32 new team members present for this first day of workouts. And they had 47 members of the press in attendance to document all the vital information stemming from the day. They do like their Broncos in Colorado. … And speaking of Colorado, we have some news of our own regarding the beautiful state, and a bit of its homegrown beauty, actually. Sometimes in life, being a “Mile High” just makes a lot of sense. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux] |
4/28/10 | Considering it has been quite difficult as of late to get a plane ride out of London, it’s probably a good thing that Maverick can find fun things to do within the city. We wondered why he’d stop right in the middle of his AEE Epic to do something else on 247AdultStars, and then we saw the photos and video clips. Apparently the volcanic ash has not affected Mav’s mental capicity (yet). Also, his decision has the added benefit of giving us a moment to talk about fashion shows over there in the land of Bangers and Mash. If you’re in a hurry, you might just skip to Syren; you can reflect upon fashion statements at a later date. (But you’re going to miss all the funny stuff.) [FEATURED TAGS: AdultStars247.com, Syren Sexton Video, Exclusive Video] |
4/25/10 | You love Fun Facts, right? … So Yahoo, clearly one of the better-known Internet Giants has been running a very simple poll that only had one question in it: “Are you in favor of the Health Care Reform Bill?” And NFL.com, presumably not nearly such a major player in the virtual world, has been running a rather more complicated poll, theoretically attempting to determine “The Top 75 Draft Picks of All Time.” (This wording sounds a bit like we could vote for Charleton Heston in Ben Hur, but it could just be that “Time” didn’t really start until the 1960’s.) … Now as of last Friday, slightly over 39 thousand people had voted on the Yahoo poll, and somewhere over 45 million people had voted on the Pro Football question. We’re not going to try to draw any conclusions for you from that little tidbit of information, but we will tell you that Michael Ninn did not cast a vote in either arena, because he’s been rather busy being all artistic and such. Risqué members get to see how, assuming they’re not trying to remember whom the Broncos drafted in 1967. (Floyd Little, just so you know.) [FEATURED TAGS: Heather Vuur, Heather Vandeven, Georgia Jones, Monique Alexander, Jana Jordan, Michael Ninn] |
4/21/10 | Clearly almost everyone finds themselves now camped in front of ESPN, waiting breathlessly for the NFL Draft to begin tomorrow. For some odd reason a few of the office people here think that it being Earth Day might be of more significance, but those people are obviously disturbed. … On the off chance that you have a computer near your television, we’re filling you in a bit more with “Knowing Cytherea” — the modern version. We’ve got a lot of the demonstrably liquid lass in the queue these days, and not one of us feels any problem with this. Apparently Cy’s a lot less controversial than the more vital Football vs. Ecosystem debate. It’s all about priorities in life. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea] |
4/15/10 | Tax Day may seem like an odd day to tell a Love Story, but if you think about it, Love generally has no rhyme or reason, and besides most of us love it when we finally put the tax junk away for another year. Of course to get to the Love Story, you might have to meander through another day of nudity and fun with Dee at KSEX, but we do what we must (as this day reminds us every year). Oh, and if meandering with a naked Dee doesn’t interest you, well, then you’ve clearly been looking at depressing numbers for too long. Have a nice glass of warm milk and come back tomorrow. We’ll still be here. [FEATURED TAGS: KSEX Radio, Dee, Annie Cruz] |
4/12/10 | Goodness but we have philosophy for you today. Of course when D.Minion goes on set and gets to spend time with a friend she hasn’t seen in a few years, that tends to happen. At least this time we forced her to break the experience up into four parts, so you have some at least minimal chance of getting all the way through her barely 1,800 words. If you’d rather just jump to the photographs and BTS video, naturally, you can do that as always. Of course you’ll need to come up with your own philosophies regarding Cytherea and her new attitude. Opinion around here seems to be that her new boobs speak for themselves. Boobs do that. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Video, Exclusive Video] |
4/9/10 | Some surprises in life are better than others. OK. So some surprises in life can really basically suck, but today’s “hint” of a surprise doesn’t suck at all. … Oh. Yes she does, come to think of it. But that’s not always bad, even as surprises go. And this doesn’t even technically qualify as the “big” surprise, but it does explain why we’ve been as busy as we have. Actually, maybe you’d better just see for yourselves. That might be best. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video, Chasey Lain Video, Phoenix Ray Video] |
4/1/10 | Today we celebrate Fools (with a capital “F” ). Or maybe we’re supposed to fool them (with a small “f” ). Or maybe it’s just a day for us to excuse every mean thing we do with “April Fool’s” , like that justifies anything. Now it probably makes as much sense as being able to pinch somebody just because they don’t happen to be wearing the proper colors some days, or letting young children gorge themselves on candy because it’s good for them that one day. … Come to think of it, we have some weird holidays. … Sticking to today for the sake of brevity, then, if a woman chooses not to promote herself as a Penthouse Pet on some days because she has to attend a prom or graduation with her boyfriend, and the company gets really mad about that, which of them is the greater Fool? [FEATURED TAGS: Tenaya Video, Exclusive Video] |
March 2010 Risque | What’s New
… With appropriate credit to Garth:
Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff
3/30/10 | We called this entry about Tenaya “The Heart of Talk and Stroll” — well — because we’re just weird that way. In addition, we will occasionally plug 80’s bands because — well — honestly we have no idea. We can’t figure that one out ourselves most of the time, but it presumably makes somewhat more sense than the Rodney Carrington references you’ll also find in these pages. Nonetheless, when you’re showing a bit of Tenaya’s spectacular private life, nobody’s really going to read the title anyway, chances are. If you do read, however, you’ll learn even more about the lovely lass. Also, you’ll learn to enjoy words like nonetheless. [STAR TAGS: Tenaya] |
3/24/10 | Apparently they changed a flat tire, saw lots and lots of old friends that happen to make adult movies for a living, and ate fast foot. That would be the seriously abridged version of Lon’s Adult Entertainment Expo experience this year. However, if you have been fortunate enough to become a Member of any of the Risqué Commune avenues, you know how much we hate doing things too quickly when it comes to any adult behavior, so you can once again rest assured that we’ve provided insight and illustration you simply won’t find anywhere else. We prefer to think that other people all get it wrong, if you’re wondering how that often seems to be the case here. [STAR TAGS: Adult Entertainment Expo, Rayveness, Kylie Ireland, Jessica Drake, Monique Alexander, Julia Ann, Ginger Lynn, Kaylani Lei, Kirsten Price, Nina Hartley, Stormy Daniels, Cytherea Video, Exclusive Video] |
3/19/10 | Purists among us might point out that we should probably have uploaded this particular “Celebrate the Irish” post a couple of days ago, but there are just way too many people out there dedicated to Tradition simply for the sake of Tradition. Don’t you think? … Consequently we’ve decided to march to our own drummer around here. (There’s a big shock, right?) And just as soon as we manage to find our drummer we’re going to start working out some new routines. You can count on it. … On a completely unrelated note, have you ever noticed that even if you’re not drinking green beer — on the beach — in the heat — after enough of it, all the people still seem to start turning various shades of green? … Science is interesting. [STAR TAGS: Nikki Rhodes Video] |
3/16/10 | Recently it came to our attention that we do not say, “Oh, Bollocks!” nearly enough around the office. Consequently we have resolved to remedy this situation just as quickly as possible. (Technically we had to first resolve to have resolutions on days other than New Year’s, but why get bogged down in details really?) … And speaking of details, Maverick shares a great many of them today in his “Day 2 of the AEE” post on 247AdultStars. Sadly we didn’t actually find any “nonsense” or “rubbish” — which seems to be how dictionary.com defines “bollocks” for us — so we couldn’t use the term in the ever-pithy commentary on those posts from our leader. On the upside, the reference source did say that term often has a “vulgar” connotation, and that should be something we have no trouble working with around here. It’s good to have a plan. [STAR TAGS: AdultStars247.com, Adult Entertainment Expo, Lexi Love, Katie Kox, Kayden Kross, Sasha Grey, AJ Bailey, Savanna Samson, Lexi Belle, Bree Olsen, Julia Ann, Exclusive Video] |
3/11/10 | Some things are just filthy. Have you noticed? Sometimes, it seems, however, this appears to be the goal. Well, it’s good to have a plan, and Audrey Hollander does have a unique way of celebrating her birthday, we’ll give her that. Sometimes D.Minion doesn’t need to do much more than tell it like it was … [STAR TAGS: Lyla Lei, Audrey Hollander, Aurora Snow, Michael Ninn] |
3/6/10 | You can find many good reasons to live in Los Angeles, but the colorful people have to be at least near the top of every list. In this economy most big cities will have scroungy-looking people on street corners looking for some money for some reason or another. However, in LA last week we saw a guy with a sign that said, “Need $4.01 for a soy latte.” … Across the street from this fellow was another chap with a sign that said, “Gulf War Veteran. Need a WIFE. Will accept cash.” … You gotta love LA. They could never put the “reality” here on television and have anyone believe it. Speaking of which, we give another dose of our “too strange for prime time” reality with an update on Penny Flame and some “Sanity” advice from Dee. Try wrapping your head around that one. [STAR TAGS: Penny Flame Video, Charlie Laine, Monique Alexander] |
3/2/10 | So here’s the deal: D.Minion gets very, very excited when she gets to go on the road with one of the girls, and so her reports from these adventures tend to ramble a bit. In the piece that follows, we go from puppies to school girls, to the birthdays of 70’s television stars and how to get free lap dances at strip clubs. Consequently, we’ll give you a hint: In the first paragraph there is a picture of Dee. This will be the only picture accompanying the article proper. Just on the off chance that somebody might want to hit that handy-dandy camera icon at the top of the page, and jump to directly to the rest of the photos, that will be useful information to remember. … If you decide to exercise this option, however, and D.Minion ever asks you about it. Lie to her. … That’s what we do. [STAR TAGS: Dee, Kristal Summers] |