Boys’ Toys
by P. Ness Nvey
We all know that women mature earlier than men, girls often reaching an evolution of mature reasoning in their teens, and boys … well … sometimes never reach that point. For example, almost 100% of the males in the Communes responded with befuddlement to the recent Über-Panel of Kylie Ireland and Francesca Le kissing [over at risque]. We survived near ridicule for our emphasis on delicate tenderness in that instance, so before we start male-bashing anew, let’s get a theoretically superior “long” panel out of the way. [Have you ever noticed that things only seem to be “theoretical” to people on the other side of the debate?]
Featuring Our Luminary LaVeaux
(Yes. The whiny people in our office would hate this too. Some people will put anything on the internet. We feel sorry for their inability to reason beyond their own little worlds.)
With that out of the way, we move on to boys on their toys. To be honest, it sometimes baffles us why no matter what expensive toy some guy buys, he somehow feels it will improve its value by photographing naked women on or around it. [Seriously? And yet that seems obvious to some of us.] We like boats as well as the next girl, but why would some guy decide that having Shayla LaVeaux pose naked on the boat would be an excellent decision — even if the boat happens to be parked on a random driveway instead of floating against a watery horizon? We called Shayla on this, and sadly she could not remember this particular set. Shayla gets naked a lot, so we really can’t blame her for not being able to bring every instance immediately to mind. [Also, these photos look to be outside a strip club in Florida, so we could have been a couple of rum-runners into the evening.]
[Of course we cannot show you these pictures, because apparently even outside a strip club, Shayla wears no clothes. It probably saves on laundry. … Just search for this title if you join Shayla’s Site, though, and you can see them there. If it matters.]
Ms. LaVeaux got used to silly male penile projections — those applying to as well as coming from — years ago, so she probably doesn’t even notice anymore. [Oh, she still notices. She just stores the knowledge away so that she might bring it up again when necessary to defuse an argument. If scientists really wanted to get rich, they’d start trying to figure out where women get that gene.] Take a female executive, however, and she can make proper use of a boat … and nudity.
When Juli Ashton [well, and team] set out to show off a fancy boy-toy in Essentially Shayla, she didn’t even let an impending hurricane get in her way. Granted, they couldn’t actually leave the dock with the big “craft” — and a giant forklift carried it off to safety in some huge hanger as soon as they were done, the way we hear it — but they used a boat the way you’re supposed to use a boat — on the water. See? Even in the face of disaster, women in charge make all the difference. What brave souls these were. [Technically Juli and Shayla were brave. Randy was going to get to have sex with Shayla, so he would have done the scene actually IN the hurricane.]
You folks can compare uses of expensive boy-toy floating devices, and let us know what you think. [First off I think that this may not be the most common use of the term boy-toy.]
EPILOGUE: In doing the research to help Shayla on her clips4sale venture, we did find some rather surprising things. Granted many of the sites originate outside the United States, but cultural differences shouldn’t really make that much difference in sexual expression — at least that’s what we thought. Not to put too fine a point on it, but we were wrong. Some discoveries were simply confusing, and Shayla asked that we share some with her members as we go along, so as way of explanation — if not excuse — we have started down that path today. [The neophytes invariably get shocked by how some people will spend their money in a sexual arena, and we elders do so enjoy watching the range from puzzled, to shock, to occasional revulsion. It keeps us young. What can we say?]
[Ed. NOTE for FREE PUBLICATION: Before you ask, there was not a way in the world we would link to Clips4Sale from here. Even if you happen to be a perfectly legal and curious adult, you should peruse that site at your own peril. We will link you to other Shayla DVDs, though. We keep that site clean too. (Sadly Essentially Shayla has been sold out for years. You have to watch that on the site too. Sometimes life is hard.)]
