Breanne Benson Archives

9/27/11	You take your basic adult video site, and you start talking about video of “pie” and all kinds of naughty things most likely come to mind. While Cytherea and her CyCAM certainly fit that bill, we will warn you that D.Minion has once again outdone herself with her “Eye in the Pie” interpretation. Don’t worry too much, however, as we can assure you that even this oddness has nothing whatsoever to do with 3.14159265 … [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video]
9/24/11	We theorize that you members have been keeping up with all the Risque Commune sites over the past week and a half. Because you have learned this a valuable effort, you have thus already seen Cytherea playing naturally au naturel in nature, Shayla being her naturally friendly self while “Going Down, Down Under” … and Maverick of 247AdultStars fame (yeah, well, sort of) turning a quite natural shade of purple in the presence of naked females. You have already seen all this so we don’t even need to mention it. If you have somehow lost your mind recently and have not been paying commune-wide attention, well fear not, we have linked you pleasantly today. And we’ve thrown in a study of Bijou Not Being Bitter as well. We think maybe she doesn’t understand that word. … And in case you’re wondering, we “theorize” all of this because we know what “assume” can do. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Jessica Drake Video, Dolorean Video, Tanya Cox Exclusive Video, Dee, Wendy Divine, Kristal Summers, Keri Windsor, 247AdultStars.com]
9/13/11	Gloom has befallen fully half of the NFL fans as of very late last night, or very early this morning, depending upon where you call home. The other half of the fans, as one might expect, find themselves rejuvenated, thoughts of evil union disputes pushed far into the ancient history parts of there minds. … Then there are the other people who have somehow managed to avoid the clutches of American Football Frenzy and find accounts of lesbian sexual interaction far more appealing. Sometimes it can be hard to understand any of these extremes, however, but if you think about it, it remains far easier to contemplate why someone might be interested in beautiful naked females than it does to fathom how some people can get distressingly worked up over a game. Those people should probably search for “Gloom, despair, and agony on me” replays on YouTube. [FEATURED TAGS: Angie Savage Exclusive Video, Angelina Valentine Exclusive Video, Holly Sampson, Juelz Ventura]
9/10/11	As it turns out, no one was keeping the home fires burning during our recent trip to cover Adam & Eve’s Dallas — experience. On the other hand, some attentive person decided to provide a great deal of fire for us at our temporary location. Honestly in this case we’d rather not have relied on the kindness of strangers. And for a town named “Sweet Water” they sure didn’t seem to have much of it actually available locally. Go figure. [FEATURED TAGS: Tanya Cox Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
9/7/11	Depending upon when you happen to be reading this, you may find that we are technically “before” September 7th. However, since we’re taking all the new folks in the office down to L.A. to cover the Adam & Eve “Parody” of Dallas this week, we thought we’d get this up before we left so people weren’t sad in our absence. Of course you could be reading this at some point in the future, so this distinction won’t mean anything at all to you. Just understand that time remains a wholly relative concept around here, and you’ll be fine. If you find yourself still confused, ask “eno” on the Message Board. He can explain it. … Oh! Cougars & Coeds – part 1. … [FEATURED TAGS: Shyla Styles, Ruby Rayes]
9/4/11	Someone told us recently that “It’s better to be implacable than wise.” He claims to have read it in a book, and it may even be true. Were we wise enough to know what implacable means, we might even be able to comment with more insight, but sadly most of us here lack the tenacity necessary to go and find a dictionary these days. Even dictionary.com takes valuable time away from YouTube where we might enjoy classic Jennifer Beals videos. We all make tough decisions in life. For the record, though, when we grow up, we want to be Uncle Gibby. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Ashton Moore, Dru Berrymore, Jenna Haze, Laurie Wallace, Michelle Michaels, Shay Sights, Star E. Knight, Tanya Danielle, Wanda Curtis, Lexi Belle, Monique Alexander, Nikki Delano, Breanne Benson, Capri Anderson, Sunny Leone, Exxxotica Chicago 2011 Exclusive Video, Michael Ninn]
9/1/11	Finally we find ourselves but one round of meaningless games away from the real NFL season. … That’s what we’re all thinking, right? … It certainly couldn’t be that we have once again in our lives been distracted by large-breasted females. That couldn’t happen yet again, could it? … No way. We are dedicated and seasoned professionals, in no way susceptible to confusion generated by simple biological quirks. … And if you believe that, you really needn’t bother with today’s post. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Michael Ninn]

4/30/11	So apparently they had this big wedding yesterday, and insane people over here stayed up until all hours of the morning just to watch it on TV? Well, we can’t say that this makes any sense to us California folks, but then we’ve heard the same thing said about us from other parts of the country. Did you ever embrace a reflective moment and think about just how you ended up where you did in your life? Presumably people in prison do this with some regularity, but fortunately today we’re not talking about weddings or incarceration – either of these sad situations. Today we sit down with Shayla and consider the “Origins of Porn Woman” and be honestly thrilled that the entire world doesn’t watch everything we do. Seriously. That sounds icky, right? [FEATURED TAGS: Alexis DeVell, AEE 2011, Shayla LaVeaux, Julia Ann, Cheyenne Silver, Inari Vachs, Tori Black, Tanya Tate, Phoenix Marie, Bobbi Starr, Andy San Dimas, Jesse Jane, Shy Love, Selena Rose, Natasha Nice, Kayden Kross, Jessica Drake, Riley Steele, Dana DeArmond, Bree Olsen, Prinzzess, Lupe Fuentes, Joanna Angel, Anna Lovato, Jynx Maze, Kristen Rose, Lexi Belle, Breanne Benson, Nina Hartley, Monique Alexander, Stoya, Andy San Dimas, Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
4/28/11	You know what colloquialisms are we assume? OK. So most of us have at least heard the word, and we probably have some vague idea of the meaning, although that may or may not be true. After all, it’s not like you have occasion to throw that particular English language tidbit into a conversation every day. And if you have one thing, like a colloquialism, for example, don’t sound principles of physics dictate that its direct opposite be possible too? So what’s the opposite of a colloquialism? … If you’re confused, you’ve now perfectly prepared yourself to match our condition today, so all you Members can now feel free to enter. On the upside, we do have Renee Perez playing in the shower this time around, and basically that’s not very confusing at all. [FEATURED TAGS: Renee Perez Video, Michael Ninn]
4/22/11	There are many, many ways to say Happy Birthday across the globe, yet all of them mean, “Gosh, you’re even older than you were yesterday.” As our friends get older, we have noticed a tendency to buy them gifts that we hope to get back in inheritance, though, but that’s OK, right? We should be practical after all. Also, we’re going to stop writing now so that El Jefe doesn’t have enough clues to figure out which of us wrote this introduction. Practical … [FEATURED TAGS: Tanya Cox, “The Snatch Game” ]
4/21/11	Just in case you’re ever curious, you should know that the only people that ever win in a lawsuit are the lawyers. Legal fights beat you up financially, emotionally, and depending upon how long they drag on, even spiritually. They’re not fun. Sadly, however, they are sometimes necessary. As we understand it, you’ve got to stand for something or you’ll fall for anything. All in all, the only thing you really learn from lawsuits boils down to an addition to your list of people with whom you never want to have to see ever again in your life. Sometimes the lawyers don’t end up being first on that list, but they always make the list for sure. Even for attorneys, though, all good things must come to an end, and eventually even the most acrimonious of disputes reaches some form of resolution. Today would be such a day. … Whew. [FEATURED TAGS: Vicca, Nikita, Juli Ashton, Felecia, Anna Malle, Asia Carrera, Ron Jeremy, Ninn Video, Michael Ninn]
4/18/19	Most of us would agree that only a few things in life can annoy us as much as paying taxes. We all see the need for them in the abstract, and quite honestly see the value in government services and the philanthropic concepts of helping those less fortunate than ourselves. When theory crashes into personal reality, however, you can almost hear a universal whining. If you don’t believe that just listen to the richest 10% of the people in the country bellow and start talking about the President’s citizenship every time he dares suggest they should probably try to contribute a little more to help the country get out of its economic mess – that he didn’t create, by the way, but let’s not get too bogged down in politics. … In that non-political spirit we’re dishing up our own risque brand of tax relief today. We’d be willing to bet that if you love it or hate it, you’re decision will have nothing whatsoever to with your party affiliation. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Lylith LaVey]
4/15/11	Does anyone else wonder why today doesn’t qualify as Tax Day, even though it’s a Friday and not a weekend? Nope. We didn’t either. We just said, “Whoopie! We get extra time this year!” … Of course none of us really need the extra time because we always do our taxes in January so we don’t even have to worry about it anymore. Yep. That’s our story, and we’re stickin’ to it. … You’ll find other words (and pictures) of wisdom in A Dawning today as well. What an excellent Friday. [FEATURED TAGS: Audrey Hollander, Heather Vuur, Heather Vandeven, Jassie, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Michael Ninn]
4/12/11	We would love to say that we spend hours and hours thinking up clever titles for our ever-so-insightful commentary on the risque commune sites, but that wouldn’t technically be true. Generally someone just pops off with something, the others laugh, and that’s what we go with. Sometimes, though, a couple of very good ideas get thrown into the mix, and then we have a debate, granted about the silliest of things. (That’s what Americans do, as any analysis of professional sports or politics will clearly illustrate.) Today we had “Sheen without Luster” as well as “Sheen and Lust Her” as options that we just couldn’t reach consensus on. D.Minion said she’d decide, since it was her story, after all. … Naturally D.Minion picked a third title. … It’s good to be Queen. We’re not so sure about being a Goddess, however. [FEATURED TAGS: Capri Anderson, Bree Olsen Video]
4/6/11	Back before he started making sausage, Jimmy Dean recorded a song with a chorus that began, “I won’t go huntin’ with you, Jake, but I’ll go chasin’ women.” Most of you will probably be glad to hear that this does not happen to be the song in which you can find Shayla naked in the music video. That said, as between early 1950’s country music – Ice T’s “Body Count” – and sausage, we can’t honestly say which we’d like to see made less. Shayla dancing naked is always good, however. [FEATURED TAGS: Justine Joli]
4/3/11	Last night we learned the Butler did it, if UConn believe that. … And if you don’t follow college basketball, or if you happen to be reading this years from now, that will make no sense at all. Fortunately, sexy women do tend toward the timeless and universally understood, so don’t worry yourself too much about the “strangest of the strange” around here. Both Shayla LaVeaux and Cheyenne Silver give reports today on the most recent AEE, and 247AdultStars chimes in with “visitors” Lon and D.Minion as well. All it all it’s very confusing. So go slowly and remember to breathe. Ice cream might help too. … And for all you authors that hurried your reports in because we were going to publish this a couple of days ago … um … April Fool’s. (Hey we couldn’t have used the amazingly clever and hysterical Butler/UConn comment on April 1st. See? Things tend to work out.) [FEATURED TAGS: AEE 2011, Shayla LaVeaux, Cheyenne Silver, Cytherea, Katsuni, Prinzzess, Alektra Blue, Syren, Exclusive Video]