Filed Under: Jassie

May 2014 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

5/29/14	In all probability Jassie will not be appearing out of the blue to give you a blow job today. She probably won’t appear out of the aquamarine or fuchsia either, so you might need a different coloring book all the way around. On the other hand, if one hangs with Jassie, one can never be quite sure what may happen. She’s an exceptional lass, that Jassie. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Jassie Video, Lorraine Sisco, Michael Ninn]
5/26/14	Happy Birthday to Kylie, both sexy and wily. When she strips down naked, it makes us all smiley. … OK. So it’s not exactly The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, but you have to agree that it’s a lot easier to read. Also, despite his literary prowess, Mr. Coleridge never had lesbian sex with Ashlyn Rae. Well, you know, he was a dude. … Kylie wins again! [STAR TAGS: Kylie Ireland Video, Ashlyn Rae Video]
5/23/14	Few people on the planet understand network television as well as our own D.Minion. This seems odd to us, because as a rule people do not tend to study things whose primary function seems to be one of causing irritation. Of course weave in the captivating beam of London Keyes, and even the ChickaDees cannot stay sad. Put London in a school uniform, and … well … we just give them all some private time. But we share … [STAR TAGS: London Keyes Video]
5/20/14	An ever-vigilant and thoughtful new member pointed out four missing large images in a post from clear back in 2006. Granted, Heather Vuur does not show any signs of ever becoming “old news” or anything — particularly around here — but we did want to show our appreciation for the effort taken to write in and point out the errors (quite politely, we should add). Obviously we could have simply fixed the four links on the photos, which we did — to cover ourselves whenever someone else goes back there — but then we got to thinking. … OK. So sometimes that can be scary, but sometimes it can also result is wonderful new larger renditions of the photos, along with typically stunning video of Jassie, Brooke, AND Heather Vuur this time. Fans pay attention. Everybody wins! [STAR TAGS: Heather Vuur Video, Heather Vandeven Video, Jassie Video, Brooke Banner Video, Michael Ninn]
5/18/14	Despite a significant amount of technical prowess in these offices, we have as yet been unable to figure out how to use Parental Lock to keep the DVR from filling up with unwatched episodes of “Too Cute” on Animal Planet. Of course D.Minion has her own ways … as some of learned painfully this week. [STAR TAGS: Cytherea Video, Kylie Ireland Video, Chayse Manhattan Video, Misty Rain Video, Leena Video, Faye Taylor Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
5/12/14	Have you ever wondered why all the beautiful women do all the difficult — notice how we avoided the overly simple pun hard at this point — work around here? Well, it turns out D.Minion remains fairly sure that an overwhelming desire to please her pretty much explains it all. Would that this were only true, we would never again have to ask For Whom the Belles Toil. … (Yeah, that hurt just writing it down. … Sometimes we have no control. You should know that about us. … ) [STAR TAGS: Justine Joli Video, Georgia Adair Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Kylie Ireland, Angel Cassidy, Wanda Curtis, Anais, Charlie Lane, Jana Cova, Audrey Hollander, Michael Ninn]
5/9/14	Everyone arrived at work today in a wonderful mood. Having each received text messages last evening, it seems we now all have a new favorite Green Bay Packer we have affectionately nicknamed “Monica” — according to our leader. After all, what else does the name “Ha Ha Clinton-Dix” make you think of? … And this strange view of the world pretty much explains all of our Adult Behavior perspectives today. … You learn to adapt; what can we say? [STAR TAGS: AEE 2014 Exclusive Video, Shayla LaVeaux]
5/5/14	Many, many people will be celebrating Cinco de Mayo today, although according to a new report we heard, apparently the holiday tends to be a lot more popular than in America than in Mexico. If we had paid more attention we might have learned why that happens to be, but we can just take it on faith. It was on the television news. It has to be true. … All of that said, not many people will be celebrating Cinco de Mayo the way we chose to this year — with Mika Tan. Hey, we’ll drink cerveza and ruminate upon Mika. Sounds like a plan. … [STAR TAGS: Mika Tan Video, Lorraine Sisco]
5/2/14	Sometimes you meet someone, and the chemistry between the two of you almost feels electric. OK, so most of the time one of you feels attracted while the other feels repulsed, but magnetic fields can be sort of like electricity, so that should count for something. Still, should you find yourself on the “rejected” end of one of these interpersonal dynamics, do not despair. While sadness tends to be depressing, mirth can be quite fun. [STAR TAGS: Jana Jordan Video, Carli Banks Video, Alexis Love Video, Tiffany Sweet Video, Renee Perez, Lena Nicole, Michael Ninn]

March 2013 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

3/31/13	Kylie’s contribution on this Easter Sunday was to point out that England does not have a kidney bank, but they do have a Liverpool. … We’re not sure what that has to do with Salvation, but then Natalia Forrest loving her boobs and Cytherea shaving seem equally confusing on that topic. Risqué has a revamped “Angel’s Fall from Grace,” though, which at least sounds on topic. It turns out that it’s another Life of a Potential Porn Star story, but, hey, we got the title right. [STAR TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Kylie Ireland Video, Natalia Forrest Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com, Taylor]
3/26/13	A Tale of Woe turns to Tales of Whoa! as Steve points out in his review of the AVN Awards Show this past January. Now you may think that we should have probably posted this sooner than nearly three months after the event, but honestly it took most of us that long to recover from the surprise of how good of a job AVN did this year. Of course if you set the bar low enough, eventually you’ll leap right over it. At least next year we may not have to force people to attend so they can write about it for the site. … Uh-oh. Expectations have risen. That’s never good. [STAR TAGS: AVN Awards 2013 Exclusive Video, Shayla LaVeaux, Kristal Summers, Cytherea, Cheyenne Silver]
3/21/13	On the first full day of spring, what could be better than enjoying Justine Joli and Jassie cavorting with rapture in front of a roaring fire? … OK. So technically the fire doesn’t really “roar,” per se. And “cavorting” may not be exactly right either, as that implies a bit of aimlessness that really does not appear here. Also, let’s face it, you’d probably be fine with Jassie and Justine in your living room no matter what season it happened to be. … Still, we do have “rapture” present — lots and lots of rapture. [STAR TAGS: Justine Joli Video, Jassie Video]
3/17/13	A traditional Irish blessing begins, “May the road rise to meet you … ” which turns out to be pretty ironic, seeing as how that’s exactly what happens if you drink too much green beer today. There’s a lot of mysticism in that Irish culture. In ours, however, we tend to be rather less metaphysical, concentrating instead on things like naked breasts in our annual Erins Go Braless (3) event. The women of the Risqué Commune have been accusing us of being remiss in mentioning the continuing updates to their individual sites, though, so we have a bunch of wildly helpful links for your membership enjoyment today. OK. So they might be simply normally helpful links, but at least we have included them. We so hate being remiss. It’s bad enough missing the first time. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Cytherea, Kylie Ireland Audio, Tanya Cox Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com ]
3/13/13	A clever group might have put together a dazzling array of three-ways today, considering all the threes in the date. Of course Kristal Summers having “first-time” sex with her boyfriend on camera sort of distracted us today. Sigh. As the writer Francois de La Rochefoucauld taught us, however, “The desire to seem clever often keeps us from being so.” … As it turns out, on this day of impending Pope-dom, there used to be a famous cardinal named Francois de La Rochefoucauld too, we learned. Gee. If Kristal had only met the two of them we could have had that 3-way. Of course she’d be like 400 years old now, and that seems to stretch even the most liberal definition of MILF. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers Video, Kylie Ireland, Julia Ann Exclusive Video, Devinn Lane, Nikita Denise]
3/10/13	Wouldn’t you know that we’re doing one of those, “Oh, wow. This is interesting, so we should just drop it into the middle of things, schedule be damned!” sorts of operations again? … Well, one of the geeks working on the free side remodel found an “orphaned” story, and rather than go all the way back to files from December of 2001, we decided rather to simply bring the story up to date today. Just when you had to deal with losing an hour’s sleep and trying to figure out how you can parlay that time trick into an entire week off work? … Well, if you do figure out how to do that, you have a lot of time to think about Being with Juli Ashton. If not, you may have to hurry. … To be employed, or not to be employed? That could be the question. [STAR TAGS: Juli Ashton, Tina Tyler, Dee, Chloe, Shawna Sexton, Bridgette Kerkove, Charlie Angel]
3/8/13	In the final analysis, none of us will really have to worry much about the calculation, seeing as how we’ll be dead and all. Those left behind will have to deal with all the annoying realities (and math), however, and so we offer up a bit of hope and happiness today amidst a retrospective view of Our Tragic Heroine. She lives, by the way, and we also have puppy pictures too. You probably won’t even remember to be all existential and such. Group sex has a way of being distracting. [STAR TAGS: Jill Kelly Video]
3/5/13	Did you know that the female housefly normally only mates once, since she has an ability to store sperm for when she needs it to fertilize more eggs later? Obviously a housefly would make a pretty lousy porn star, because they would have to retire after just one scene. Also, they’re not that pretty — unless, perhaps, you happen to be another fly. If you happened to be a fly on the wall, however, during D.Minion’s most recent week in Vegas, you might have seen all kinds of porn stars that did not suffer from that whole “one mating” tendency. We considered this an excellent thing, even though it took DM a bit of time to get it all written down. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers, Shayla LaVeaux, Vicca Video, Nikita Video, Michael Ninn]
3/1/13	Reports out of the Vatican reveal that while the 145 critical individuals have all arrived from across the world, they have not as yet elected a new supreme leader for the Catholic faith. It seems that for a few days at least, they will all be too pooped to Pope. … Should their exhaustion reach critical levels, the cardinals could consider allowing Shayla LaVeaux and Kristal Summers to serve as “Maids to Order” so that our comely lasses might handle the day to day clutter which inevitably accumulates when smart people sit around and think. At least that’s our excuse around here, and we plan on letting Shayla and Kristal help as much as they want. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Kristal Summers Exclusive Video]

Stars:Bridgette Kerkove| Charlie Angel| Cheyenne Silver| Chloe| Cytherea| Dee| Devinn Lane| Jassie| Jill Kelly| Juli Ashton| Julia Ann| Justine Joli| Kristal Summers| Kylie Ireland| Michael Ninn| Natalia Forrest| Nikita| Nikita Denise| Shawna Sexton| Shayla LaVeaux| Tanya Cox| Taylor| Tina Tyler| Vicca

Year:2013

Month:March

May 2012 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

5/28/12	If someone gives you an extra-special, handy-dandy, super-secret coupon, it’s pretty easy to just throw it away. However, if someone gives you this coupon along with a whole bunch of other fascinating memories, well, then, you can spend an hour or two being entertained — before you throw the coupon away. Still, we’re covering Members and Memories today, and that seems apropos for Memorial Day. (You will need to supply your own beverage and BBQ. Sorry about that.) [FEATURED TAGS: Heather Vuur Exclusive Video, Heather Vandeven Exclusive Video, Jassie Exclusive Video, Monica Mayhem Exclusive Video, Eddie Van Halen, Exclusive Video, Michael Ninn]
5/26/12	Looks count apparently. Consequently a couple of talented folks spent some time on presentation this time around, although honestly the fact that you’re presenting Kristal Summers, Julia Ann, and Steve (before he left too early) doesn’t hurt one’s dedication to the effort. Sadly limited to only a “Virtual Dee” this time around, D.Minion nonetheless managed to work in yet another reference to donuts with sprinkles. Maybe it comes from hanging out with all those sweet women … maybe. [FEATURED TAGS: Dee, Julia Ann, Nina Hartley, Kristal Summers, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Michael Ninn]
5/23/12	Regardless of one’s level of education, we all seem to be susceptible to the devilish “grass is greener” trap. Even if we happen to be exceptionally talented in one area, we all display an apparently human desire to do something else. Well, just so you know, that doesn’t always work out exactly as we anticipated. It does not diminish the “fun to try” factor any, though, and so around risqué we tend to let people play a bit when they feel the urge. Honestly, this should be the last place anyone ever discourages urges, right? … By the way, do you think rock stars sit around lamenting, “Dang, but I surely do wish I could do web code!” before they go to bed every night? [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Kaz B., 247AdultStars.com]
5/18/12	Today happens to be all about Shayla LaVeaux, which honestly would make any day a darned special occasion. Everyone loves Shayla, to tell you the truth, mostly because she’s kind, considerate of the feelings of others, and even after all these years in the industry still goes out and puts “fun” first in everything she does. Of course the fact that she’s sexy as all get out doesn’t hurt anything either. Life being what it is, though, somehow all of us people that love Shayla don’t get treated exactly the same way as some of the people that Shayla loves back. Presumably that has something to do with the whole sexy as all get out thing. … That bites. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Alexandra Silk, Carmen Luvana]
5/14/12	Having gotten quite confused over the weekend with what we had as a plan to introduce Cytherea’s site wishes, we came into work this morning to the greetings of all those annoying “stickler for a schedule” types pointing out that we sort of forgot to put up what we were supposed to. Fortunately, a healthy dose of humor goes a long way in these parts, so we managed to sneak by with our illustration from yesterday, if we promised to put up the “other” Cytherea post today. More Cytherea? … No one can see a down side in that. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea]
5/13/12	We celebrate “Mom” today, even as the rest of the country does the same thing. Granted, as a general rule we probably celebrate the process in which women become moms a bit more than does the average person, but as difficult as it may be to believe for the politically conservative out there, we have mothers too. We also have fathers. … And pretty much after that everything is different. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video]
5/10/12	Today we’re doing something a little different, which considering our usual method of operation probably provides no practical clues as to our intent at all. Even we couldn’t remember the last time we did something “normal” when we tried to think about it. That said, we have never used this particular approach before. You see, our leader actually wrote an article for the FREE SIDE of risqué, and then we adapted that document to the MEMBERS’ SIDE of our world. Members may not even realize it, because why would you ever go back to the Free Side, after all, but we (sporadically) run “web safe” stories out there with the hopes of finding new folks that might enjoy our approach in here. Of course they are rarely truly “topical” — often running years after they appeared in the Members’ Area — but we spend the vast majority of our time taking care of Members, so this approach has always seemed logical to us. This time, we got instructions to flip that approach completely around. We have no idea why, but however odd we may be, we also have a decidedly prudent streak. We do what the boss says. [FEATURED TAGS: Juli Ashton, Dee, Holly Hollywood Video, Michael Ninn]
5/7/12	We always celebrate Cinco de Mayo in this office, either because we’re extraordinarily culturally aware, or we just love dark-skinned women. That could be it too. Of course it could also be that for whatever reason we all really love very spicy Mexican food. But that could be simply because initial interviews are always done at a local “Cantina” and anybody that wimps out over the chile verde never gets hired. Our own “El Jefe” disputes that last claim, but interestingly that’s not quite the same thing as denying it. … Now this year the holiday came on a Saturday, and what with all the work we’ve been doing on the new catalogue, in a rare turn of events every one of us had the weekend off. Fortunately we suffered no digital disasters in our absence, but we did miss the celebration. Consequently we’re celebrating Siete de Mayo this year. Tequila makes one quite adaptable, after all. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea]
5/1/12	So if you spend a few hundred words trying to explain just how well you can be brief, well, that sort of seems to miss the point, right? If, however, a lovely lass such as Shayla LaVeaux makes the request, you certainly try your darnedest to accommodate her. We may not have done an exemplary job per se, but if you look at it honestly we nonetheless feel rather fine about the issue. How many times in life has a pretty girl reduced a group to a bunch of blithering idiots, after all? [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Natalia Forrest Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

October 2011 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

10/31/11	Remember when the “Little Monsters” visiting us this evening just meant there were a bunch of small people in costume going door to door obtaining free candy under threat of dirty deeds? Now, according to some of the … let’s go with less aged … among our office staff, a “Little Monster” might mean simply that the individual in question happens to be a fan of Lady Gaga. When did that happen? We missed the memo. … If you want to have some fun tonight, when the beggars come ringing your doorbell with their already sugar-filled bags thrust forward, choose “Trick!” and see what happens. If you can’t educate the young, what fun is life anyway? … Of course if you’d rather have an altogether different kind of fun tonight, just give ’em the candy so you can get back to our “Gothic Cheerleader” courtesy of Cytherea. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video]
10/29/11	No one here will admit responsibility for the apparent “poetry bug” that has bitten the writers around here, but as is our custom, we have made it quite easy to just skip to the … let’s go with more visual … presentations. After all, while it may take some education to adequately consider Shakespeare, it hardly takes a college degree to see the benefits of Shayla LaVeaux and Olivia Del Rio “virtually” … let’s go with working. Come to think of it, let’s just go … . [FEATURED TAGS: Eddie Van Halen, Jassie, Heather Vurr, Heather Vandeven, Monica Mayhem, Michael Ninn, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Olivia Del Rio Video ]
10/26/11	Certainly most of us would come to the aid of a Damsel in Distress — at least one would hope. Yet what percentage of us would take the time to explain Distress in Damsels when at the end of the written explanation comes Monique Alexander and Tori Black? … See? Don’t you just hate those philosophical puzzles? … Fortunately there will be no test today. Truthfully you don’t even need to pay attention to all the pesky words in the way of the beautiful women (although please don’t tell the copywriters because they’re very sensitive). And since we are being honest, we should mention that we find it pretty hard to imagine either Monique or Tori being in “distress” for very long. Right? [FEATURED TAGS: Monique Alexander Video, Tori Black Video, Michael Ninn]
10/23/11	Apparently “blonds have more fun” as they go through life. Assuming that true, then Jaclyn Smith (followed recently by Minka Kelly) would be much more alluring would they only dye their hair, right? Uh-huh. Have we mentioned the beautiful ocean-front property just outside of Denver we’re trying to sell? … Well, we don’t often get the chance to talk about one woman with experience in both “lifestyles” in adult movies, but when we do, we jump at the chance. OK. So that fact that A.J. Bailey happens to be brilliant too doesn’t hurt anything. Hey, when she gets old, she’ll still be smart. [FEATURED TAGS: AJ Bailey Video, Capri Anderson Video, Helmetcam Audio, Michael Ninn]
10/22/11	Theoretically, taking “the road less travelled” will make all the difference. Of course, have you ever noticed that no one ever mentions whether or not that difference will turn out to be a good thing? Life comes down to a matter of defining your perspective and then setting priorities; it’s really not any more complicated than that. For our part, we always seem to choose the path filled with naked women. They’re probably more philosophical or something. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Dee Video, Georgia Adair Video, Tasha Reign, Sarah Vandella, Kagney Linn Karter, Alexis Texas, Michael Ninn]
10/18/11	So a Haiku, a Fairy Tale, and a Limerick walk into a web site … No, really. … That’s what actually happens today. … We can’t really say “why” necessarily, because that would involve trying to understand D.Minion’s rationale, and we can assure you: Down that road disaster lies. … On a more — let’s go with typically sane — route, we do at least get to show off Shayla cavorting in our small town on California’s Central Coast. Better yet, Shayla has chosen to do so with a distinct lack of clothing for the most part, although she does seem to take advantage of batteries purchased locally. We’ve even thrown in some of those fancy “movin’ pictures” displaying a similar sort of cavorting, even though the scene has nothing technically to do with the poems. Internally we’ve entitled this bit of fun “The Lingerie Toss and Other Tales” but you may be more interested in the “Pure Gold Pussy” once all is said and done. Basically we know what we’ve done, but we have no idea what DM has said. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video]
10/16/11	All things considered, we have a pretty good life around here. Granted the abundance of beautiful naked women around does tend to slant the playing field in our favor, but we have deeply spiritual — metaphysically philosophical, even — reasons to be grateful for our lot in life. Well, at least we plan on having those, just as soon as the beautiful naked women stop working as sole justification. Hey, without a plan, how can you tell when you’ve fallen horribly short? … And the plan for today? Georgia Adair and Dee, beautiful and naked as you likely expected. Honestly, adding enough deeply spiritual and metaphysical philosophy, it adds a whole new interpretation to the concept of the NFL “bye” week. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Dee Video, Georgia Adair Video, Michael Ninn]
10/10/11	Columbus Day seemed like the perfect opportunity to talk about the potential benefits of exploration, particularly as they may pertain to Cytherea. Truth be told, we cannot be 100% sure what exactly we will “discover” on our trek, but we remain optimistic. According to Mr. Orwell, should we strive to be admirable writers, we need “let the meaning choose the word, and not the other way about.” As to the effectiveness of our efforts today, we shall let the members decide. … And just a bit of advice for members and non-members alike: Remember what we have learned from Mr. Columbus. Be really careful if you’re screwing the Queen. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Jana Jordan Video, Alana Langford Video, Michael Ninn]
10/7/11	For a long time now, we’ve been planning to celebrate the release of the next Michael Ninn movie we can talk about and show off with the last Michael Ninn movies (we could talk about and show off) — these happening right before new Ninn Worx management felt “uncomfortable” with our presence. Consequently, on the precipice of some very select customers in the U.S. being able to obtain a copy of Michael’s The Four, we bring you for the first time D.Minion’s observations of the first day of House of Jordan. We’ve entitled this episode “Who Let the Dogs Out?” — which will make a lot more sense once you read it. … OK. So that may not be entirely true. … It will make as much sense as we usually make. There. [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Jordan, Renee Perez, Lena Nicole, Marlie Moore, Alana Langford, Michael Ninn]
10/2/11	Sigh. The plan was to put this up on Sunday night … and then … depression set in. On the stripes of the gridiron the only thing that makes the Colorado professional football team better than Colorado’s biggest college football team is that the college team has played one more game, thus recording one more loss. Many might assume that being from a state even colder than Colorado, say, Wisconsin, would be a fine reason for depression of an entirely more aggregate view. But you if you happen to be a football fan, Wisconsin’s not a bad place to be. … Still, we’re trying to cope the way we do. Too bad Uncle Gibby’s not allowed to look at the video here. He would have liked it — a lot. [FEATURED TAGS: Lexi Belle, Monique Alexander, Anais Video, Michael Ninn]

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