Filed Under: Monica Mayhem

April 2014 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

4/30/14

Having thus far fallen short of our collective goal of reaching a lifestyle of pure noblesse oblige, we nonetheless feel obliged to offer a noble effort toward understanding world culture. Of course we used on-set adult star interviews in both the U.S. and the U.K. to serve as our illustration, which we admit may fail some arbitrary “significance” standards when it comes to global importance. So while we may not be solving world economic issues with our looks at Georgia Adair and Cate Harrington, our test subjects have boobs. … We win. [STAR TAGS: Georgia Adair Video, Cytherea Exclusive Video, Cate Harrington Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com ]

Cate Harrington - A Maverick Woman
4/27/14

Arising from peaceful slumber this morning, we had every intention of lounging in our respective peignoirs, fully dedicated to eating bon-bons and reading trashy novels. After using Google to discover the meaning of a couple of those terms, though, we figured out that our lives beat the heck out of any trashy novel plot, so we might as well learn a little something this weekend. While we’re on the topic, though, did you know they still make bon-bons? You can find anything on Amazon. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]

Shayla LaVeaux Loves Bon Bons
4/22/14

Gift-Giving etiquette dictates that the Thought in the situation takes precedence over any actual eventuality. For our part on the celebratory occasion, we hold that truth to be self evident. … You see, despite what we must say in polite public, not all men were really created equal. Nor were the women. Have you ever seen Jana Jordan entertain a pretty woman? [STAR TAGS: Jana Jordan Video, Brea Lynn Video]

Jana Jordan & Brea Lynn
4/20/14

Everyone should be a fan of festive occasions that involve the giving of candy. Some festive occasions, of course, have other “meanings” as we understand it, but honestly they pretty much have us with candy. Naturally we put a risqué twist on “Some Bunny to Love” as we celebrate, thinking most people won’t miss old hard-boiled eggs in the process. As an aside on that topic, we’ll offer up some advice on festive occasions in general: While green eggs and ham might looks basically scary when done, purple eggs and ham can add quite a celebratory flair. [STAR TAGS: Alexis Amore, Jenaveve Jolie]

Jenaveve Joli & Alexis Amore
4/18/14

Today would be a Fine Friday to talk about Intimate Exposures 4 we decided. It could not be a “Good Friday” to talk about it because one of our Fearful Leaders expressed fear of “being zotted” should we label it so. Most of us hold the opinion that actually shooting an adult movie on Good Friday has a much greater Zot-Potential than just talking about shooting a movie, but we could be wrong. Or it could just be that Episcopalians might be a strange bunch. [STAR TAGS: Niki Lee Young Exclusive Video, Sophia Jade Exclusive Video]

Sophia Jade
4/15/14

Traditionally we try to do something decidedly non-taxing on this day because … well, if you need the explanation, you really need to pay more attention in life. Fortunately the mind of Lorraine Sisco can provide an excellent diversion, and the support staff of Mika Tan, Daisy Marie, Alexis Love, and Jean Valjean helps a lot too. It takes a village sometimes, you know. For the record, we have a darned good-looking village. [STAR TAGS: Mika Tan Video, Daisy Marie Video, Alexis Love video, Lorraine Sisco]

Mika Tan
4/11/14

Giving everyone the 4-1-1 today seemed entirely appropriate, and since we try to be appropriate at least annually, we decided to get it out of the way for this year. After careful — dare we say nearly painstaking — examination of Monica Mayhem, Daisy Marie, and Keeani Lei we have decided that the women in adult entertainment hold a much greater significance than the men. Now how many professions outside the WNBA can you say that about? [STAR TAGS: Monica Mayhem, Daisy Marie, Keeani Lei]

Monica, Daisy, Keeani
4/9/14

Fact vs. Fiction. Porn Men vs. Other Men. … What it looks like taking a shower with Shayla — well, maybe if you were drunk and resting on the floor at the time. Whatever the case, you may think about any of these things today, as you ponder the global craze that might have been the HoPro. … [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Jessica Drake]

Shayla LaVeaux
4/6/14

Things can be confusing when you happen to be dealing with trying to combine sexual women on camera and concepts like “Best” in the same conversation. Fortunately for everyone, we alleviate all that befuddlement and just make it simple today. With Mia Malkova on tap (as it were) it all becomes perfectly clear. Or else you really won’t care and will be perfectly happy spending an hour or so in consideration of Mia on video and in stills. Either way, we’re cool. [STAR TAGS: Mia Malkova Video, Kimmy Haze, 247AdultStars.com]

Mia Malkova
4/1/14

Iconic fictional detective Philip Marlowe once remarked, “I like smooth shiny girls, hardboiled and loaded with sin.” Our own Uncle Gibby happens to like Raymond Chandler, and considering the date, A Particular Foolish Fetish seemed like a fine way to honor Gibby for all his hard work of late. A little Anais fit the Marlowe bill nicely, and we might learn a little in the process. Winners all around. No foolin’ … [STAR TAGS: Anais Video, Wanda Curtis, Michael Ninn]

Anais & Kurt Mockwood, or Something Like That

August 2013 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

8/29/13

As real football games move closer to a reality, D.Minion has us toeing the line on timing her Intimate Encounters 3 BTS Exposé to coincide with Denver preseason games. Not really a football fan herself, though — except for the naps she plans for the third quarter of every game — DM somehow miscounted in developing her strategy. Next week the Meaningful Games begin, so not to give anything away, but you might see the end of DM’s sojourn up a little early on the web, regardless of the date over at the side there.[STAR TAGS: Tasha Reign Exclusive Video, Sophia Knight Exclusive Video, Breanne Benson Exclusive Video, Jeanie Marie Sullivan]

Breanne Benson — The Woman with NOT the Dragon Tattoo
8/26/13

Apparently over in England they have something called the “Late Summer Holiday” which as near as we can tell just means: We couldn’t think of a good reason to take a day off of work, so we’re taking a holiday today anyway Also as you might expect in the “United” Kingdom, the various countries seem to celebrate this holiday on different days. On the upside, since it doesn’t really mean anything, when you celebrate really doesn’t make much difference. Very efficient, that. Now since Maverick lives in London, we decided to celebrate his non-work today, by showing off some of the work he did over here, over yet another holiday, ironically. Any excuse for a holiday works quite well with any excuse for Cytherea and Cheyenne in a tub we figured. We’re clever like that. [STAR TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Cheyenne Silver Exclusive Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Inari Vachs, Phoenix Ray Video]

Cytherea & Cheyenne — Pre Bubbles
8/24/13

Preseason football continues today (at least for the important team), and — much more importantly to some people — so does D.Minion’s exposé on Adam & Eve’s Intimate Encounters 3, on set with Chris King. You can see beautiful naked women any time (although granted not many of them look like Tasha Reign), so it makes sense that you might want to watch football first, and kitchen sex next, but you can choose for yourself. Some people make weird choices we have learned. Like some people still visit Indianapolis on purpose, even though they got rid of Peyton Manning. [STAR TAGS: Tasha Reign Exclusive Video, Jeanie Marie Sullivan]

Tasha Reign
8/22/13

Some of you might have thought that we only get to vote in important elections in November every couple of years. Well, that turns out not to be true. If taxing your knowledge of adult movies and stars seems too difficult, however, you might feel more comfortable helping Shayla think about her new video requirements … or you can just let Cytherea inspire you to some Recreational Nudity of your own. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video, Cytherea Exclusive Video, Julia Ann Video, Monica Mayhem Video]

Emote When You Vote
8/17/13

Around these parts, when D.Minion has a decree it’s sort of like hearing she went up on a mountain and talked to this shrubbery that was on fire. She knows “exactly” what we must do, and regardless of any violation of our pyrotechnic sense, we just do it anyway. So when she says we will post Day Two of Intimate Encounters 3 in four parts on the next four days the Broncos play, well, filled with admirable religious fervor we exclaim, “Okey dokey.” … Let Tasha Reign. [STAR TAGS: Tasha Reign Exclusive Video, Jeanie Marie Sullivan]

Tasha Reign
8/13/13

The number “8” being lucky in Chinese culture, combined with the number “13” being unlucky in ours, pretty much meant we had to do something today. Of course seeing as how it happens to be 2013, and the head of this operation goes by the name Lucky, well that just adds to our mystery — although we use the term “operation” loosely here. That said, an adult web site does seem like it should operate pretty loosely, all things considered. [STAR TAGS: Austin Lynn, Hillary Scott Video, Michael Ninn]

Great Hillary Scott
8/12/13

Without even meaning to, we have completely solved the education problem in America today. Come to find out, all we really need to do boils down to providing much more interesting visual aids in the learning process. Of course as purely altruistic sorts, we have not even considered that vast wealth that should be coming our way just any day now. Somebody should tell somebody. [STAR TAGS: Kaylan Nicole, Shayla LaVeaux Video]

Aide de Risque Camp
8/9/13

Most of us have probably never been at work when the woman in our life showed up and said something like, “Gee, honey. You’re working so hard today. Why don’t you lie back and let me give you a blow job while you’re waiting for them to need you again.” Of course most of us never dated Audrey Hollander and worked in adult movies. So there’s that. Somehow D.Minion missed the explanation for that little aside on the set of Nympho 2, but she didn’t miss much else. [STAR TAGS: Hillary Scott Video, Tall Goddess Video, Annette Schwarz Video, Adrianna Nicole Video, Jessica Jammer Video, Stacy Valentine, Audrey Hollander Video, Nikki Nievez, Michael Ninn]

Nympho 2 from Ninn Worx
8/8/13

We have this year rather a larger contingency than usual of the “Oh, God, no! Not another football season!” philosophy. As per usual, however, the leader here does not attend that school and thus as a group we remain “interested” fans of the NFL — certainly not overly interested, though. Certainly not that. Some of us still like Cytherea’s new cam show feeds better, for example, although we tend to be quiet about that little fact. [STAR TAGS: Cytherea, Anais, Kylie Ireland]

The Cy’s Have It
8/4/13

Clothes may perhaps make the man, but after considering Maverick’s variations on a Cate Harrington theme, we think that clothes don’t really have all that much to do with making the woman. As football season draws near once again, this time we find ourselves quite worried about what may happen to Londoners should an NFL team really be based there. The guys will all be chasing Kinky Cate. They’ll never get any practice done. [STAR TAGS: Summer Brielle, Austin Lynn, Maddison Hardy, Sassy Meli, Cate Harrington Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

Cate Harrington
8/1/13

Having taken a quick poll in the office, it turns out that not one of us can name a single person that has ever darned their socks. Nor can we think of anyone that still makes them with yarn. Despite this evolution into the modern age, though, we nonetheless ended up with “A Darn in the Yarn” for Shayla today. Living with porn stars may not be exactly what you might expect — or it might be, presumably for those with a firm tie to the realities of everyday life — but whatever the case, we do things a unique way with risqué, and we freely admit mistakes when they occur. Apologies take way less effort than defense we have learned. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video]

Very little yarn. No darn.

May 2012 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

5/28/12

If someone gives you an extra-special, handy-dandy, super-secret coupon, it’s pretty easy to just throw it away. However, if someone gives you this coupon along with a whole bunch of other fascinating memories, well, then, you can spend an hour or two being entertained — before you throw the coupon away. Still, we’re covering Members and Memories today, and that seems apropos for Memorial Day. (You will need to supply your own beverage and BBQ. Sorry about that.) [FEATURED TAGS: Heather Vuur Exclusive Video, Heather Vandeven Exclusive Video, Jassie Exclusive Video, Monica Mayhem Exclusive Video, Eddie Van Halen, Exclusive Video, Michael Ninn]

Memories of the Heather Vuur Mammaries
5/26/12

Looks count apparently. Consequently a couple of talented folks spent some time on presentation this time around, although honestly the fact that you’re presenting Kristal Summers, Julia Ann, and Steve (before he left too early) doesn’t hurt one’s dedication to the effort. Sadly limited to only a “Virtual Dee” this time around, D.Minion nonetheless managed to work in yet another reference to donuts with sprinkles. Maybe it comes from hanging out with all those sweet women … maybe. [FEATURED TAGS: Dee, Julia Ann, Nina Hartley, Kristal Summers, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Michael Ninn]

Shayla Floating in Here Somewhere Too
5/23/12

Regardless of one’s level of education, we all seem to be susceptible to the devilish “grass is greener” trap. Even if we happen to be exceptionally talented in one area, we all display an apparently human desire to do something else. Well, just so you know, that doesn’t always work out exactly as we anticipated. It does not diminish the “fun to try” factor any, though, and so around risqué we tend to let people play a bit when they feel the urge. Honestly, this should be the last place anyone ever discourages urges, right? … By the way, do you think rock stars sit around lamenting, “Dang, but I surely do wish I could do web code!” before they go to bed every night? [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Kaz B., 247AdultStars.com]

More Fun Than Geekdom Really
5/18/12

Today happens to be all about Shayla LaVeaux, which honestly would make any day a darned special occasion. Everyone loves Shayla, to tell you the truth, mostly because she’s kind, considerate of the feelings of others, and even after all these years in the industry still goes out and puts “fun” first in everything she does. Of course the fact that she’s sexy as all get out doesn’t hurt anything either. Life being what it is, though, somehow all of us people that love Shayla don’t get treated exactly the same way as some of the people that Shayla loves back. Presumably that has something to do with the whole sexy as all get out thing. … That bites. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Alexandra Silk, Carmen Luvana]

The Disrobe of Many Colors
5/14/12

Having gotten quite confused over the weekend with what we had as a plan to introduce Cytherea’s site wishes, we came into work this morning to the greetings of all those annoying “stickler for a schedule” types pointing out that we sort of forgot to put up what we were supposed to. Fortunately, a healthy dose of humor goes a long way in these parts, so we managed to sneak by with our illustration from yesterday, if we promised to put up the “other” Cytherea post today. More Cytherea? … No one can see a down side in that.  [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea]

A Sky High Sigh from Cy
5/13/12

We celebrate “Mom” today, even as the rest of the country does the same thing. Granted, as a general rule we probably celebrate the process in which women become moms a bit more than does the average person, but as difficult as it may be to believe for the politically conservative out there, we have mothers too. We also have fathers. … And pretty much after that everything is different.  [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video]

Toe-Tally Devoted to Mom
5/10/12

Today we’re doing something a little different, which considering our usual method of operation probably provides no practical clues as to our intent at all. Even we couldn’t remember the last time we did something “normal” when we tried to think about it. That said, we have never used this particular approach before. You see, our leader actually wrote an article for the FREE SIDE of risqué, and then we adapted that document to the MEMBERS’ SIDE of our world. Members may not even realize it, because why would you ever go back to the Free Side, after all, but we (sporadically) run “web safe” stories out there with the hopes of finding new folks that might enjoy our approach in here. Of course they are rarely truly “topical” — often running years after they appeared in the Members’ Area — but we spend the vast majority of our time taking care of Members, so this approach has always seemed logical to us. This time, we got instructions to flip that approach completely around. We have no idea why, but however odd we may be, we also have a decidedly prudent streak. We do what the boss says. [FEATURED TAGS: Juli Ashton, Dee, Holly Hollywood Video, Michael Ninn]

Holly Hollywood & Dee Enjoying Their Friendship
5/7/12

We always celebrate Cinco de Mayo in this office, either because we’re extraordinarily culturally aware, or we just love dark-skinned women. That could be it too. Of course it could also be that for whatever reason we all really love very spicy Mexican food. But that could be simply because initial interviews are always done at a local “Cantina” and anybody that wimps out over the chile verde never gets hired. Our own “El Jefe” disputes that last claim, but interestingly that’s not quite the same thing as denying it. … Now this year the holiday came on a Saturday, and what with all the work we’ve been doing on the new catalogue, in a rare turn of events every one of us had the weekend off. Fortunately we suffered no digital disasters in our absence, but we did miss the celebration. Consequently we’re celebrating Siete de Mayo this year. Tequila makes one quite adaptable, after all.  [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea]

Dee. Puerto Rican, but Worth Celebrating Anyway.
5/1/12

So if you spend a few hundred words trying to explain just how well you can be brief, well, that sort of seems to miss the point, right? If, however, a lovely lass such as Shayla LaVeaux makes the request, you certainly try your darnedest to accommodate her. We may not have done an exemplary job per se, but if you look at it honestly we nonetheless feel rather fine about the issue. How many times in life has a pretty girl reduced a group to a bunch of blithering idiots, after all? [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Natalia Forrest Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

Natalia Forrest. We're Blithering Again.

October 2011 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

10/31/11

Remember when the “Little Monsters” visiting us this evening just meant there were a bunch of small people in costume going door to door obtaining free candy under threat of dirty deeds? Now, according to some of the … let’s go with less aged … among our office staff, a “Little Monster” might mean simply that the individual in question happens to be a fan of Lady Gaga. When did that happen? We missed the memo. … If you want to have some fun tonight, when the beggars come ringing your doorbell with their already sugar-filled bags thrust forward, choose “Trick!” and see what happens. If you can’t educate the young, what fun is life anyway? … Of course if you’d rather have an altogether different kind of fun tonight, just give ’em the candy so you can get back to our “Gothic Cheerleader” courtesy of Cytherea. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video]

Happy Halloween!
10/29/11

No one here will admit responsibility for the apparent “poetry bug” that has bitten the writers around here, but as is our custom, we have made it quite easy to just skip to the … let’s go with more visual … presentations. After all, while it may take some education to adequately consider Shakespeare, it hardly takes a college degree to see the benefits of Shayla LaVeaux and Olivia Del Rio “virtually” … let’s go with working. Come to think of it, let’s just go … . [FEATURED TAGS: Eddie Van Halen, Jassie, Heather Vurr, Heather Vandeven, Monica Mayhem, Michael Ninn, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Olivia Del Rio Video ] 

Jassie - A Poetry All Her Own
10/26/11

Certainly most of us would come to the aid of a Damsel in Distress — at least one would hope. Yet what percentage of us would take the time to explain Distress in Damsels when at the end of the written explanation comes Monique Alexander and Tori Black? … See? Don’t you just hate those philosophical puzzles? … Fortunately there will be no test today. Truthfully you don’t even need to pay attention to all the pesky words in the way of the beautiful women (although please don’t tell the copywriters because they’re very sensitive). And since we are being honest, we should mention that we find it pretty hard to imagine either Monique or Tori being in “distress” for very long. Right? [FEATURED TAGS: Monique Alexander Video, Tori Black Video, Michael Ninn]

Monique & Tori, Technically Not Seeking Aid
10/23/11

Apparently “blonds have more fun” as they go through life. Assuming that true, then Jaclyn Smith (followed recently by Minka Kelly) would be much more alluring would they only dye their hair, right? Uh-huh. Have we mentioned the beautiful ocean-front property just outside of Denver we’re trying to sell? … Well, we don’t often get the chance to talk about one woman with experience in both “lifestyles” in adult movies, but when we do, we jump at the chance. OK. So that fact that A.J. Bailey happens to be brilliant too doesn’t hurt anything. Hey, when she gets old, she’ll still be smart. [FEATURED TAGS: AJ Bailey Video, Capri Anderson Video, Helmetcam Audio, Michael Ninn]

The Brunette Version of A.J. Bailey
10/22/11

Theoretically, taking “the road less travelled” will make all the difference. Of course, have you ever noticed that no one ever mentions whether or not that difference will turn out to be a good thing? Life comes down to a matter of defining your perspective and then setting priorities; it’s really not any more complicated than that. For our part, we always seem to choose the path filled with naked women. They’re probably more philosophical or something. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Dee Video, Georgia Adair Video, Tasha Reign, Sarah Vandella, Kagney Linn Karter, Alexis Texas, Michael Ninn]

A Perspective on Cytherea
10/18/11

So a Haiku, a Fairy Tale, and a Limerick walk into a web site … No, really. … That’s what actually happens today. … We can’t really say “why” necessarily, because that would involve trying to understand D.Minion’s rationale, and we can assure you: Down that road disaster lies. … On a more — let’s go with typically sane — route, we do at least get to show off Shayla cavorting in our small town on California’s Central Coast. Better yet, Shayla has chosen to do so with a distinct lack of clothing for the most part, although she does seem to take advantage of batteries purchased locally. We’ve even thrown in some of those fancy “movin’ pictures” displaying a similar sort of cavorting, even though the scene has nothing technically to do with the poems. Internally we’ve entitled this bit of fun “The Lingerie Toss and Other Tales” but you may be more interested in the “Pure Gold Pussy” once all is said and done. Basically we know what we’ve done, but we have no idea what DM has said. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video]

The Benefits of Shayla as a Boss
10/16/11

All things considered, we have a pretty good life around here. Granted the abundance of beautiful naked women around does tend to slant the playing field in our favor, but we have deeply spiritual — metaphysically philosophical, even — reasons to be grateful for our lot in life. Well, at least we plan on having those, just as soon as the beautiful naked women stop working as sole justification. Hey, without a plan, how can you tell when you’ve fallen horribly short? … And the plan for today? Georgia Adair and Dee, beautiful and naked as you likely expected. Honestly, adding enough deeply spiritual and metaphysical philosophy, it adds a whole new interpretation to the concept of the NFL “bye” week.  [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Dee Video, Georgia Adair Video, Michael Ninn]

Cytherea - also “Bi” as it turns out.
10/10/11

Columbus Day seemed like the perfect opportunity to talk about the potential benefits of exploration, particularly as they may pertain to Cytherea. Truth be told, we cannot be 100% sure what exactly we will “discover” on our trek, but we remain optimistic. According to Mr. Orwell, should we strive to be admirable writers, we need “let the meaning choose the word, and not the other way about.” As to the effectiveness of our efforts today, we shall let the members decide. … And just a bit of advice for members and non-members alike: Remember what we have learned from Mr. Columbus. Be really careful if you’re screwing the Queen. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Jana Jordan Video, Alana Langford Video, Michael Ninn]

Cytherea Enlightening Us
10/7/11

For a long time now, we’ve been planning to celebrate the release of the next Michael Ninn movie we can talk about and show off with the last Michael Ninn movies (we could talk about and show off) — these happening right before new Ninn Worx management felt “uncomfortable” with our presence. Consequently, on the precipice of some very select customers in the U.S. being able to obtain a copy of Michael’s The Four, we bring you for the first time D.Minion’s observations of the first day of House of Jordan. We’ve entitled this episode “Who Let the Dogs Out?” — which will make a lot more sense once you read it. … OK. So that may not be entirely true. … It will make as much sense as we usually make. There. [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Jordan, Renee Perez, Lena Nicole, Marlie Moore, Alana Langford, Michael Ninn]

How we got into trouble in the first place.
10/2/11

Sigh. The plan was to put this up on Sunday night … and then … depression set in. On the stripes of the gridiron the only thing that makes the Colorado professional football team better than Colorado’s biggest college football team is that the college team has played one more game, thus recording one more loss. Many might assume that being from a state even colder than Colorado, say, Wisconsin, would be a fine reason for depression of an entirely more aggregate view. But you if you happen to be a football fan, Wisconsin’s not a bad place to be. … Still, we’re trying to cope the way we do. Too bad Uncle Gibby’s not allowed to look at the video here. He would have liked it — a lot. [FEATURED TAGS: Lexi Belle, Monique Alexander, Anais Video, Michael Ninn]

The Belle Lexi Loves