Filed Under: KylieIreland.com

March 2014 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

3/31/14	Your basic “cowgirl” doesn’t really wear a purple snakeskin hat and shiny pink pants. Of course you’d think that even your basic adult movie star should probably remember if she ever had anal sex on camera before. As it turns out, our basic risqué cowgirl happens to be Kristal Summers, and seeing as how the hat and pants happen to be the only things she ends up wearing for this layout, we didn’t actually get too wrapped up in genre accuracy. Go figure. As for the second theory here, well, according to Cytherea, some of those early years are still a little murky to the lass. We call that one Forgotten Butt, of Course. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers, Cytherea Video]
3/27/14	Odds seem good that we have all met one of those people that will proudly explain how little ego they have. There seem to be quite a lot of them, for whatever reason, and not one of them has ever learned the word “irony” or the Concept of Karma. If you have known one of these people for a long time, however, retrospect can tug on a few different emotions in us. People don’t simply stop being friends because they somehow jump from fame to infamy, but that can be difficult to explain to someone new to the environment. Take Marc Wallice and Jenna Jameson, for example. [STAR TAGS: Jenna Jameson Video, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Christi Lake Video]
3/21/14	People into Numerology must think that 3/21/14 would be an excellent day to do something special. Look at it: There’s a hidden seven and all kinds of threes in there. That’s got to count for something, right? … OK. So technically none of us knows the first thing about numerology, but we do recognize the heat in (and on) Alexis Texas having sex, and seriously, that probably gets more attention than numbers anyway. [STAR TAGS: Alexis Texas Exclusive Video]
3/17/14	According to Rich Gannon on NFL Radio — the acknowledged expert on everything, of course — people will consume 13 million pints of Guinness on this St. Patrick’s Day. Factoring in our contribution, that means the rest of the world needs to be responsible for somewhere in the vicinity of 12,999,991 pints today. Now we don’t know where all of that will come from, but we have an excellent idea about where 155 beautiful braless “Erins” will come from. [STAR TAGS: Erins Go Braless! Kylie Ireland St. Patrick’s Day Audio]
3/15/14	Supposedly the middle of March happens to be a big threat because we should theoretically fear a dreamer? … Obviously things have changed between Shakespeare and Alexis Texas — Social Media being one of the foremost among them, it appears. Or would that be amongst them? It’s all very confusing. We should stick to naked women. Otherwise we thinks we doth protest too much. [STAR TAGS: Alexis Texas, Syren Sexton Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
3/11/14	One of the greatest things about college has to be that about this time every year, the mind starts turning to wonderful, sun-drenched, thoughts about Spring Break. Of course one of the greatest things about being out of college would be that you can take a break any time you want. Granted, you pretty much have to live off the grid, or have really rich relatives, a state that sadly does not define anyone we know. Still, we do get to work with Kristal Summers and Cytherea regularly, so as jobs go, we don’t really complain about this one very much. We will on occasion wonder, however: Where’s a good trust fund when you need one? [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers, Cytherea Video, Lauren Phoenix Video, Scarlet Red, Romance]
3/5/14	Since yesterday everyone celebrated “Fat Tuesday” would it not make sense that we should call today “Skinny Wednesday” from now on? It sure sounds a lot more pleasant than Ash Wednesday, for example. Also, it makes a lot more sense to Get the Skinny on Dee & Anais Breaking Glad than it does to think about them all covered with ashes. Eeew. [STAR TAGS: Dee Exclusive Video, Anais Exclusive Video]
3/2/14	Consider us one big ol’ happy group of sexual philanthropists. Granted, it would seem pretty silly to imagine a big ol’ unhappy group of sexual philanthropists, so you might as well just go with the easy one. As a rule, we like that approach in life — and not just when it applies to our women. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video]

Year:2014

Month:March

February 2014 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

2/28/14	Our Head Writer ends her trilogy we call “Oui the People at AEE 2014” today, although for now she has resisted a growing movement suggesting she change her name from “D.Minion” to “B.Moaning” after reading her assessment of the younger adults targeting in the annual AVN convention. Fittingly we conclude with one of those Could be Hall of Fame performers, risqué favorite Tori Black. Tori may have been underrepresented at this year’s show, but she sure makes all of us want to buy a house with a pool. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Kylie Ireland, Tori Black Video]
2/24/14	Well, the Winter Olympics have now concluded leaving behind a few ecstatic individuals and the entire U.S. Figure Skating and Men’s Hockey teams wondering what the heck just happened. Bronco fans know how they feel, and being the helpful sort, a few of them put together a consideration of this year’s Best New Starlet contenders, most of whom also know exactly how many of us feel right now. They look a heck of a lot better feeling that way than we do, though. [STAR TAGS: AEE 2014, Melody Jordan, Jodi Taylor, Raven Rockette, Casey Calvert, AJ Applegate, Cindy Starfall, Kennedy Leigh, Rikki Six, Jessa Rhodes, Lacy Rose Video]
2/21/14	For a moment there we began to wonder if the leaders of the U.S. Olympic Women’s Hockey Team had been replaced by members of the Denver Broncos coaching staff. Then we realized that the women actually kept the championship game very close, so that couldn’t have been the problem. We will say that as Part II of D.Minion’s Convention Überview, though, we make it pretty easy to forget all about the Bronco coaches. Video featuring Celeste Star, Charlie Lain, Carli Banks, and Nevaeh make that quite possible. Throw in a little “Countrified Shayla LaVeaux” and you’ll be hyperventilating for an entirely different reason than silly old football players. [STAR TAGS: AVN Awards 2014, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Shy Love, Celeste Star Video, Charlie Lain Video, Nevaeh Video, Carli Banks Video]
2/19/14	You can spend your time considering various arguments on the merits of the Winter Olympics today. Or you can spend your time thanking Kirk for this impromptu Kristal Summers coverage — or more accurately uncoverage, technically. Of course that may not even be a real word, but you honestly won’t care in just a little bit. Call it a hunch. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers Video]
2/17/14	An old adage can be very helpful. If it does not exactly help you understand a situation more clearly, at least it gives you a quick way to hide your ignorance of accurate details. Sometimes, however, they just don’t seem to apply — Age before beauty, for example. … What if you have both? What if you have always had both? Fortunately on Dee’s birthday we avoid odd questions like this and simply celebrate her. Simple is good, and Dee is excellent! [STAR TAGS: Dee Video, Adaja Video]
2/14/14	Top vote-getters amongst the staff for most romantic song to play for a loved one today tied between Wind Beneath My Wings and I Will Always Love You, although we did have someone choose AC/DC’s You Shook Me All Night Long, so there’s that. At least this goes to show that we maintain our unique way of looking at things, a stance evidenced by the first of D.Minion’s AEE reports. She calls the three-part series Gestalt Vault this time around, mostly because she did not find “Cryptic Triptych” nearly as funny as some of us did. Hey, we like Dolly Parton songs; clearly we can’t be trusted as any sort of barometer of normalcy. [STAR TAGS: AEE 2014, Shayla LaVeaux, Kristal Summers, Christy Canyon, Monique Alexander Video, Jessica Drake, Sunny Lane, Celeste Star, Tori Black, Charmane Star, Chantelle Fox Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
2/10/14	Apparently some people take figure skating very seriously. So when you offer an innocent commentary on the current Olympic team, some people can get quite irritated, and claim we’re being mean. … Hey, it’s not our fault that one of them looks like she took her makeup clues from Tim Curry’s character in The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and another one bears an eery resemblance to the human version of a hammerhead shark. They’re probably both kind, loving, wonderful people. But facts are facts, just like the hundredth of a second that can mean the difference between being remembered in the history books and being remembered only at your mom’s house. All in all, we decided Tiffany Mynx has a lot going for her, and she’s not in the least bit controversial. We will likely remember her for a very long time. [STAR TAGS: Kylie Ireland Video, Tiffany Mynx Video]
2/6/14	Home, Home on the Range would be a lot more interesting if everyone could take Madison Chandler along for the ride. Covered Wagon. Mercedes. Whatever … Some people just make the journey a lot more enjoyable. When D.Minion talks about it, naturally, it can get a little weird, to go along with the enjoyable part, but who wants a boring path anyway? Besides who can avoid laughing with a belle from North Carolina tries to communicate with a chap from England? Giddyup! [STAR TAGS: Madison Chandler Exclusive Video, Nikki Lee Young]
2/3/14	You ever have one of those weekends where you simply cannot remember a darned thing? Well, we have decided to classify this past one in just such a fashion. That’s our story, and we’re stickin’ to it. We do have Shayla coming out of — or technically going into — the closet to help distract us, though. Some things you just don’t want to remember. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]

X360 Sex Awards Show

When you ask a Hall of Fame porn performer to take pictures at a “Sex Awards Show” you never know exactly what you will get. When you approach Kylie Ireland for some Sex Awards Show insights, it can get even stranger. Those of you that know Kylie will certainly know that she can tend toward the “wacky” end of life’s spectrum, but that beats the heck out of the “boring” end for sure.

Kylie also happens to be a good photographer in her own right, and she also knows everyone so her “access” would probably different that most of us could get. Of course the days of quality photographs requiring big bulky equipment have long since passed, as everyone has a camera on their cell phone that will work for almost all web applications. Honestly none of us listed technical quality as one of the requirements for this assignment anyway.

Sex Awards Show Secrets

After filtering through all the “oh, we can’t really write about that and still be nice” options in this category, Kylie did return with one interesting bit of Panic Innovation.

As you might imagine, adult movie stars do not as a rule tend to be people that fall definitively into the “shy” category. That said, you might be surprised at how “normal” you would find them if you ever saw them getting ready to appear on stage. So when something happens to disrupt an already precarious balance on calmness, it can get tense. Fortunately for almost all these sorts of shows, they tend to be filled with all sorts of people used to dealing with pressure situations. (Try having an orgasm on cue when it’s 3:00 in the morning, 40 degrees outside, and everyone is waiting for you to finish so they can go home after a 20-hour day.)

It seems that right before our old buddy jessica drake got called to go on stage, the dress she has prepared suddenly picked that time to pop a zipper. Now you change clothes a lot as a hostess for a Sex Awards Show, and no one build in any “options” for a situation like this. Being accompanied by long-tenured Wicked director Brad Armstrong helped a lot though. Brad — certainly one of the most self-actualized men we have ever known — leapt in with the sewing kit and literally stitched jessica into her dress. Then they cut it off to accomplish the next change. … No word on how the event promoters handled the news of the destroyed garment, but jessica is not famous for wearing cheap outfits.

On the other hand this gives you an accurate insight into how veteran directors and producers handle time-sensitive scenarios: They get it done and worry about the money later. As you may have discerned, sometimes it might a lot better to be a director or producer, rather than, say, an owner.

You may see the full account of the evening elsewhere on the risque site — on the free side too, no less. One thing about awards shows, at least people almost always wear clothes. (Not Misty Rain, but that will be a story for another day.)

Kylie on Instagram. We told you she can take pictures.

Stars:Kylie Ireland

Location:Los Angeles

Setting:Appearance

Technique:Editorial

Related Sites:KylieIreland.com

January 2014 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

1/31/14	Probably not very many adult companies have a Dolly Parton quote framed in their entry way, but we do. During an interview one time, Dolly said, “People have no idea how much money it costs to look this cheap.” … And why might this make us think of the adult industry instead of country music? Well, people probably have no idea. … [STAR TAGS: Cytherea, Natasha Marley, Jessica Drake Video, Monique Alexander Video, Nikki Fairchild Video, Olivia Del Rio, Bailey Blue, Celeste Star, Sunny Lane, Jayden James, Jessica James, Shy Love, Kennedy Leigh, Jessa Rhodes]
1/28/14	One of our all-time favorite adult industry quotes came to us from Alex deRenzy who explained, “If they’re looking at my furniture, I ain’t doing my job.” … Sometimes you need to take a step back and think about the bigger picture, a task we approach both directly and subtly today. You may need to pay attention, though, because having Kristal Summers in addition to a lesbian orgy can make your thoughts wander to more immediate considerations. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers, Anna Joy Exclusive Video, Marie Luv Video, Ruby Knox Video, Lana Croft Video, Eva Angelina Video, Sammie Rhodes Video, Sindee Jennings Video, 247AdultStars.com]
1/25/14	How do you provide a Gestalt View of a ceremony where they give out serious awards for Best Blow Job — and women cry if they do not win? Well, every year we try to do that, and every year we think, “My, but this seems like an odd thing to do.” … In every walk of life, some things just go with the territory, though. In a porn life, they just tend to be surreal on occasion. [STAR TAGS: AVN Awards, Kylie Ireland, Jessica Drake, Stormy Daniels, Samantha Saint]
1/22/14	We blast back into the membership business today, fresh from yet another fascinating (and regularly unclothed) trip to Las Vegas. OK. So maybe “blast” should be “crawl” if we find striving for complete accuracy to be important, but folks are blasting through the organization of a “boatload” of new assets even as we speak. Interestingly enough, our web site assets often include part of that word literally. [STAR TAGS: Inari Vachs]
1/12/14	Visions of sprinkle donuts dance in some heads at risqué, while entirely different sorts of naked beauty dominate the thoughts of others. Now we wouldn’t want to tell anyone what they “should” enjoy, so we’ll go on record as saying should you prefer to enjoy Jayden Cole in D.Minion’s “Cole-Hearted Thriller” while you eat donuts, well, we will be just fine with that. Assuming we make it back from Vegas again, we’ll see you in a week. We’ll tell you all about it. [STAR TAGS: Jayden Cole Exclusive Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Cytherea, Kylie Ireland Video, Kristal Summers Video, Dee Video]
1/8/14	For future reference let us give you a little advice that you probably do not hear every day: If at all possible, you should try really, really hard NOT to be in Pasadena on the day of the college national football championship game — at least if they happen to be playing that game at the Rose Bowl. Trust us: a quarter million drunken tourists are a lot more fun if you just watch them on television. We tend to learn by doing, however, a point to which at least a couple of the new people here can attest. As “BAAB” considers the role of Powerful Women, she does an admirable job of elevating females without being overly “BAAB to the Bone” … . (Sorry, George.) [STAR TAGS: Melissa Monet Video, London Keyes, Elexis Malone]
1/4/14	To paraphrase Ron White — a pastime we rather enjoy, as you may already know — “Once you’ve seen one woman naked, you pretty much want to see them all.” Understanding that sentiment, we feel for poor Maverick and Steve who will be absent from all the naked ladies in Vegas this year. We didn’t want them to feel too badly, though, so we put together a “broad selection” (as it were, should you be one of the more politically incorrect out there) in order that they might pass the time while we’re away. We said we feel bad for them, not that we won’t have an excellent time teasing them. [STAR TAGS: Happy New Year!]
1/1/14	So what happens when two porn stars take a bath together? … Um … If you cannot answer that question without checking out our “answer” inside, then maybe you should think about joining a different kind of site. We’re not certain, but there are probably excellent ones on like internal combustion engines, or model rockets — something like that. For our part, even though we don’t use “fuel” per se, we have been known to cause a controlled explosion or two. We see no reason to change that course this HAPPY NEW YEAR! [STAR TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Cheyenne Silver Exclusive Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]