Filed Under: Monique Alexander

February 2014 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

2/28/14	Our Head Writer ends her trilogy we call “Oui the People at AEE 2014” today, although for now she has resisted a growing movement suggesting she change her name from “D.Minion” to “B.Moaning” after reading her assessment of the younger adults targeting in the annual AVN convention. Fittingly we conclude with one of those Could be Hall of Fame performers, risqué favorite Tori Black. Tori may have been underrepresented at this year’s show, but she sure makes all of us want to buy a house with a pool. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Kylie Ireland, Tori Black Video]
2/24/14	Well, the Winter Olympics have now concluded leaving behind a few ecstatic individuals and the entire U.S. Figure Skating and Men’s Hockey teams wondering what the heck just happened. Bronco fans know how they feel, and being the helpful sort, a few of them put together a consideration of this year’s Best New Starlet contenders, most of whom also know exactly how many of us feel right now. They look a heck of a lot better feeling that way than we do, though. [STAR TAGS: AEE 2014, Melody Jordan, Jodi Taylor, Raven Rockette, Casey Calvert, AJ Applegate, Cindy Starfall, Kennedy Leigh, Rikki Six, Jessa Rhodes, Lacy Rose Video]
2/21/14	For a moment there we began to wonder if the leaders of the U.S. Olympic Women’s Hockey Team had been replaced by members of the Denver Broncos coaching staff. Then we realized that the women actually kept the championship game very close, so that couldn’t have been the problem. We will say that as Part II of D.Minion’s Convention Überview, though, we make it pretty easy to forget all about the Bronco coaches. Video featuring Celeste Star, Charlie Lain, Carli Banks, and Nevaeh make that quite possible. Throw in a little “Countrified Shayla LaVeaux” and you’ll be hyperventilating for an entirely different reason than silly old football players. [STAR TAGS: AVN Awards 2014, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Shy Love, Celeste Star Video, Charlie Lain Video, Nevaeh Video, Carli Banks Video]
2/19/14	You can spend your time considering various arguments on the merits of the Winter Olympics today. Or you can spend your time thanking Kirk for this impromptu Kristal Summers coverage — or more accurately uncoverage, technically. Of course that may not even be a real word, but you honestly won’t care in just a little bit. Call it a hunch. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers Video]
2/17/14	An old adage can be very helpful. If it does not exactly help you understand a situation more clearly, at least it gives you a quick way to hide your ignorance of accurate details. Sometimes, however, they just don’t seem to apply — Age before beauty, for example. … What if you have both? What if you have always had both? Fortunately on Dee’s birthday we avoid odd questions like this and simply celebrate her. Simple is good, and Dee is excellent! [STAR TAGS: Dee Video, Adaja Video]
2/14/14	Top vote-getters amongst the staff for most romantic song to play for a loved one today tied between Wind Beneath My Wings and I Will Always Love You, although we did have someone choose AC/DC’s You Shook Me All Night Long, so there’s that. At least this goes to show that we maintain our unique way of looking at things, a stance evidenced by the first of D.Minion’s AEE reports. She calls the three-part series Gestalt Vault this time around, mostly because she did not find “Cryptic Triptych” nearly as funny as some of us did. Hey, we like Dolly Parton songs; clearly we can’t be trusted as any sort of barometer of normalcy. [STAR TAGS: AEE 2014, Shayla LaVeaux, Kristal Summers, Christy Canyon, Monique Alexander Video, Jessica Drake, Sunny Lane, Celeste Star, Tori Black, Charmane Star, Chantelle Fox Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
2/10/14	Apparently some people take figure skating very seriously. So when you offer an innocent commentary on the current Olympic team, some people can get quite irritated, and claim we’re being mean. … Hey, it’s not our fault that one of them looks like she took her makeup clues from Tim Curry’s character in The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and another one bears an eery resemblance to the human version of a hammerhead shark. They’re probably both kind, loving, wonderful people. But facts are facts, just like the hundredth of a second that can mean the difference between being remembered in the history books and being remembered only at your mom’s house. All in all, we decided Tiffany Mynx has a lot going for her, and she’s not in the least bit controversial. We will likely remember her for a very long time. [STAR TAGS: Kylie Ireland Video, Tiffany Mynx Video]
2/6/14	Home, Home on the Range would be a lot more interesting if everyone could take Madison Chandler along for the ride. Covered Wagon. Mercedes. Whatever … Some people just make the journey a lot more enjoyable. When D.Minion talks about it, naturally, it can get a little weird, to go along with the enjoyable part, but who wants a boring path anyway? Besides who can avoid laughing with a belle from North Carolina tries to communicate with a chap from England? Giddyup! [STAR TAGS: Madison Chandler Exclusive Video, Nikki Lee Young]
2/3/14	You ever have one of those weekends where you simply cannot remember a darned thing? Well, we have decided to classify this past one in just such a fashion. That’s our story, and we’re stickin’ to it. We do have Shayla coming out of — or technically going into — the closet to help distract us, though. Some things you just don’t want to remember. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]

January 2014 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

1/31/14	Probably not very many adult companies have a Dolly Parton quote framed in their entry way, but we do. During an interview one time, Dolly said, “People have no idea how much money it costs to look this cheap.” … And why might this make us think of the adult industry instead of country music? Well, people probably have no idea. … [STAR TAGS: Cytherea, Natasha Marley, Jessica Drake Video, Monique Alexander Video, Nikki Fairchild Video, Olivia Del Rio, Bailey Blue, Celeste Star, Sunny Lane, Jayden James, Jessica James, Shy Love, Kennedy Leigh, Jessa Rhodes]
1/28/14	One of our all-time favorite adult industry quotes came to us from Alex deRenzy who explained, “If they’re looking at my furniture, I ain’t doing my job.” … Sometimes you need to take a step back and think about the bigger picture, a task we approach both directly and subtly today. You may need to pay attention, though, because having Kristal Summers in addition to a lesbian orgy can make your thoughts wander to more immediate considerations. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers, Anna Joy Exclusive Video, Marie Luv Video, Ruby Knox Video, Lana Croft Video, Eva Angelina Video, Sammie Rhodes Video, Sindee Jennings Video, 247AdultStars.com]
1/25/14	How do you provide a Gestalt View of a ceremony where they give out serious awards for Best Blow Job — and women cry if they do not win? Well, every year we try to do that, and every year we think, “My, but this seems like an odd thing to do.” … In every walk of life, some things just go with the territory, though. In a porn life, they just tend to be surreal on occasion. [STAR TAGS: AVN Awards, Kylie Ireland, Jessica Drake, Stormy Daniels, Samantha Saint]
1/22/14	We blast back into the membership business today, fresh from yet another fascinating (and regularly unclothed) trip to Las Vegas. OK. So maybe “blast” should be “crawl” if we find striving for complete accuracy to be important, but folks are blasting through the organization of a “boatload” of new assets even as we speak. Interestingly enough, our web site assets often include part of that word literally. [STAR TAGS: Inari Vachs]
1/12/14	Visions of sprinkle donuts dance in some heads at risqué, while entirely different sorts of naked beauty dominate the thoughts of others. Now we wouldn’t want to tell anyone what they “should” enjoy, so we’ll go on record as saying should you prefer to enjoy Jayden Cole in D.Minion’s “Cole-Hearted Thriller” while you eat donuts, well, we will be just fine with that. Assuming we make it back from Vegas again, we’ll see you in a week. We’ll tell you all about it. [STAR TAGS: Jayden Cole Exclusive Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Cytherea, Kylie Ireland Video, Kristal Summers Video, Dee Video]
1/8/14	For future reference let us give you a little advice that you probably do not hear every day: If at all possible, you should try really, really hard NOT to be in Pasadena on the day of the college national football championship game — at least if they happen to be playing that game at the Rose Bowl. Trust us: a quarter million drunken tourists are a lot more fun if you just watch them on television. We tend to learn by doing, however, a point to which at least a couple of the new people here can attest. As “BAAB” considers the role of Powerful Women, she does an admirable job of elevating females without being overly “BAAB to the Bone” … . (Sorry, George.) [STAR TAGS: Melissa Monet Video, London Keyes, Elexis Malone]
1/4/14	To paraphrase Ron White — a pastime we rather enjoy, as you may already know — “Once you’ve seen one woman naked, you pretty much want to see them all.” Understanding that sentiment, we feel for poor Maverick and Steve who will be absent from all the naked ladies in Vegas this year. We didn’t want them to feel too badly, though, so we put together a “broad selection” (as it were, should you be one of the more politically incorrect out there) in order that they might pass the time while we’re away. We said we feel bad for them, not that we won’t have an excellent time teasing them. [STAR TAGS: Happy New Year!]
1/1/14	So what happens when two porn stars take a bath together? … Um … If you cannot answer that question without checking out our “answer” inside, then maybe you should think about joining a different kind of site. We’re not certain, but there are probably excellent ones on like internal combustion engines, or model rockets — something like that. For our part, even though we don’t use “fuel” per se, we have been known to cause a controlled explosion or two. We see no reason to change that course this HAPPY NEW YEAR! [STAR TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Cheyenne Silver Exclusive Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]

“Torid” with Nymphetamine 3 – part 1

Our Tori Cleft for Thee by Nobody Special PART ONE “Can I squat?” asks the predictably nubile lass in the early morning sun. “You can do whatever you want. This is your day. We’re just hangin’ with you for a bit,” comes Mr. Ninn’s immediate reply from his perch overlooking the set of his own […]

Stars:Monique Alexander, Tori Black

Location:Los Angeles

Setting:Movie Set

Technique:Professional

October 2011 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

10/31/11	Remember when the “Little Monsters” visiting us this evening just meant there were a bunch of small people in costume going door to door obtaining free candy under threat of dirty deeds? Now, according to some of the … let’s go with less aged … among our office staff, a “Little Monster” might mean simply that the individual in question happens to be a fan of Lady Gaga. When did that happen? We missed the memo. … If you want to have some fun tonight, when the beggars come ringing your doorbell with their already sugar-filled bags thrust forward, choose “Trick!” and see what happens. If you can’t educate the young, what fun is life anyway? … Of course if you’d rather have an altogether different kind of fun tonight, just give ’em the candy so you can get back to our “Gothic Cheerleader” courtesy of Cytherea. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video]
10/29/11	No one here will admit responsibility for the apparent “poetry bug” that has bitten the writers around here, but as is our custom, we have made it quite easy to just skip to the … let’s go with more visual … presentations. After all, while it may take some education to adequately consider Shakespeare, it hardly takes a college degree to see the benefits of Shayla LaVeaux and Olivia Del Rio “virtually” … let’s go with working. Come to think of it, let’s just go … . [FEATURED TAGS: Eddie Van Halen, Jassie, Heather Vurr, Heather Vandeven, Monica Mayhem, Michael Ninn, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Olivia Del Rio Video ]
10/26/11	Certainly most of us would come to the aid of a Damsel in Distress — at least one would hope. Yet what percentage of us would take the time to explain Distress in Damsels when at the end of the written explanation comes Monique Alexander and Tori Black? … See? Don’t you just hate those philosophical puzzles? … Fortunately there will be no test today. Truthfully you don’t even need to pay attention to all the pesky words in the way of the beautiful women (although please don’t tell the copywriters because they’re very sensitive). And since we are being honest, we should mention that we find it pretty hard to imagine either Monique or Tori being in “distress” for very long. Right? [FEATURED TAGS: Monique Alexander Video, Tori Black Video, Michael Ninn]
10/23/11	Apparently “blonds have more fun” as they go through life. Assuming that true, then Jaclyn Smith (followed recently by Minka Kelly) would be much more alluring would they only dye their hair, right? Uh-huh. Have we mentioned the beautiful ocean-front property just outside of Denver we’re trying to sell? … Well, we don’t often get the chance to talk about one woman with experience in both “lifestyles” in adult movies, but when we do, we jump at the chance. OK. So that fact that A.J. Bailey happens to be brilliant too doesn’t hurt anything. Hey, when she gets old, she’ll still be smart. [FEATURED TAGS: AJ Bailey Video, Capri Anderson Video, Helmetcam Audio, Michael Ninn]
10/22/11	Theoretically, taking “the road less travelled” will make all the difference. Of course, have you ever noticed that no one ever mentions whether or not that difference will turn out to be a good thing? Life comes down to a matter of defining your perspective and then setting priorities; it’s really not any more complicated than that. For our part, we always seem to choose the path filled with naked women. They’re probably more philosophical or something. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Dee Video, Georgia Adair Video, Tasha Reign, Sarah Vandella, Kagney Linn Karter, Alexis Texas, Michael Ninn]
10/18/11	So a Haiku, a Fairy Tale, and a Limerick walk into a web site … No, really. … That’s what actually happens today. … We can’t really say “why” necessarily, because that would involve trying to understand D.Minion’s rationale, and we can assure you: Down that road disaster lies. … On a more — let’s go with typically sane — route, we do at least get to show off Shayla cavorting in our small town on California’s Central Coast. Better yet, Shayla has chosen to do so with a distinct lack of clothing for the most part, although she does seem to take advantage of batteries purchased locally. We’ve even thrown in some of those fancy “movin’ pictures” displaying a similar sort of cavorting, even though the scene has nothing technically to do with the poems. Internally we’ve entitled this bit of fun “The Lingerie Toss and Other Tales” but you may be more interested in the “Pure Gold Pussy” once all is said and done. Basically we know what we’ve done, but we have no idea what DM has said. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video]
10/16/11	All things considered, we have a pretty good life around here. Granted the abundance of beautiful naked women around does tend to slant the playing field in our favor, but we have deeply spiritual — metaphysically philosophical, even — reasons to be grateful for our lot in life. Well, at least we plan on having those, just as soon as the beautiful naked women stop working as sole justification. Hey, without a plan, how can you tell when you’ve fallen horribly short? … And the plan for today? Georgia Adair and Dee, beautiful and naked as you likely expected. Honestly, adding enough deeply spiritual and metaphysical philosophy, it adds a whole new interpretation to the concept of the NFL “bye” week. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Dee Video, Georgia Adair Video, Michael Ninn]
10/10/11	Columbus Day seemed like the perfect opportunity to talk about the potential benefits of exploration, particularly as they may pertain to Cytherea. Truth be told, we cannot be 100% sure what exactly we will “discover” on our trek, but we remain optimistic. According to Mr. Orwell, should we strive to be admirable writers, we need “let the meaning choose the word, and not the other way about.” As to the effectiveness of our efforts today, we shall let the members decide. … And just a bit of advice for members and non-members alike: Remember what we have learned from Mr. Columbus. Be really careful if you’re screwing the Queen. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Jana Jordan Video, Alana Langford Video, Michael Ninn]
10/7/11	For a long time now, we’ve been planning to celebrate the release of the next Michael Ninn movie we can talk about and show off with the last Michael Ninn movies (we could talk about and show off) — these happening right before new Ninn Worx management felt “uncomfortable” with our presence. Consequently, on the precipice of some very select customers in the U.S. being able to obtain a copy of Michael’s The Four, we bring you for the first time D.Minion’s observations of the first day of House of Jordan. We’ve entitled this episode “Who Let the Dogs Out?” — which will make a lot more sense once you read it. … OK. So that may not be entirely true. … It will make as much sense as we usually make. There. [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Jordan, Renee Perez, Lena Nicole, Marlie Moore, Alana Langford, Michael Ninn]
10/2/11	Sigh. The plan was to put this up on Sunday night … and then … depression set in. On the stripes of the gridiron the only thing that makes the Colorado professional football team better than Colorado’s biggest college football team is that the college team has played one more game, thus recording one more loss. Many might assume that being from a state even colder than Colorado, say, Wisconsin, would be a fine reason for depression of an entirely more aggregate view. But you if you happen to be a football fan, Wisconsin’s not a bad place to be. … Still, we’re trying to cope the way we do. Too bad Uncle Gibby’s not allowed to look at the video here. He would have liked it — a lot. [FEATURED TAGS: Lexi Belle, Monique Alexander, Anais Video, Michael Ninn]