Filed Under: KylieIreland.com

September 2013 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

9/28/13

Makeup sex can be really great. We all know that, right? Of course getting to actually have sex by way of apology would probably be better than getting to merely watch sex, but even as technologically advanced as we are around here, we have not quite mastered the “transporter” option for the web site. We do, however, have Asia Carrera to help you along with whatever journey you (two or three or … ) choose to take. All in all, it’s probably for the best we cannot offer that “’in person” option. Asia would get really, really tired. [STAR TAGS: Asia Carrera Video]

Riding a Turbo Carrera
9/25/13

Maverick has a birthday today, although considering how these updates play “in history” so to speak, it may not technically be “today” when you read this. Consequently, should you ever have the inkling to wish Maverick a Happy Birthday, you just need to do so on September 25th. Mav happens to be a quite kind chap, and thus he celebrates his birthday on the same day every year. For our part, we try to memorialize this date the same way every year too: Kristal Summers. He seems to appreciate it. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers]

Kristal Summers
9/23/13

When a good friend suffers a loss — even if you happen to think it’s completely ridiculous, because it’s only a game, and your friend wasn’t even playing the game personally — you do what you can to remind them of happier times. So today, as a bunch of regular working people in Wisconsin feel lousy about a bunch of highly paid people in Wisconsin, we chose to remind Uncle Gibby about Exxxotica Chicago this year. Cheer up, dear friend: At least we didn’t send you boner pills. [STAR TAGS: Stormy Daniels, Alexis Texas, Kristina Rose, Britney Amber, Jayden Jaymes, Jayden Cole, Lexi Belle, Exxxotica Chicago Exclusive Video]

Lexi. We Love that Belle.
9/19/13

None of us has been willing to go on record regarding D.Minion’s organizational mania at the new office, but we will point out that we now have a label on a shelf that reads “Label Maker.” Of course being given DM’s persona in a regular work environment will allow others to think outside the box — as it were — regarding important things like how we might improve cheerleaders, and how we might please Gibby at least half the time, just like the 1-1 Green Bay Packers. [STAR TAGS: Anais Video, Jana Cova Video, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Michelle Michaels Video, Michael Ninn]

TWO Stunning Blondes
9/14/13

Well we survived another Friday the 13th again, although truth be told when the dude in charge goes by the name “Lucky” those tend to be sort of party days around here anyway. Of course the REAL truth be told, one could pretty much apply that description to pretty much any of our days. Although technically this update applies most directly to questions via the “Free Side” of risqué, we can’t really answer them without some of the uncensored aspects of the Membership Side, so we decided to throw a party to celebrate our cleverness. You’ll actually find us fairly shameless when it comes to party excuses, and we don’t even care that much about accuracy. [STAR TAGS: Dee Exclusive Video, Kylie Ireland Video]

Under Dee Water
9/11/13

Not many people give much thought to the term bittersweet anymore, but for the last dozen years, Americans have been able to put that term to September 11th. As a nation we’re certainly a lot stronger and safer than we were before that date, but the progress came at a terrible cost. Retrospect has a way of bringing up mixed emotions, which we can happily avoid simply by looking at Kaylan Nicole … and Cytherea … and Shayla LaVeaux. All things considered, life can be pretty good around here. Oddly enough, most of our memories are not too painful to remember. … [STAR TAGS: Kaylan Nicole Video, Shayla LaVeaux Audio, Cytherea]

A Beauty Within, as it were …
9/7/13

Have you heard the famous line, “Seven in One Blow!” somewhere along the line? Now it could refer to a particularly accurate fellow with a fly swatter. It could also be talking about an element in any number of gang bang movies. Of course now all the truly erudite will understand that the sentence refers to the opening game Peyton Manning had in the 2013 NFL season. Of course this only becomes important for the “non-erudite” when taken as an example of how sometimes people can interpret things in different ways. … It doesn’t make them wrong so much as … OK … It makes them wrong. [STAR TAGS: Anais, Jana Cova Video, Michael Ninn]

Nothing Wrong with Anais
9/5/13

Depending upon what day you happen to be looking at this, the date at the side here might be confusing. But worry not: today is in fact September 5th. You see D.Minion had carefully planned out her Intimate Encounters 3 coverage to hit on consecutive Denver Bronco games under the odd assumption that not all people care about such things. Sadly, D.Minion failed to comprehend the difference between preseason and the regular season in the NFL. Worry not, however. We fixed it. No matter what your calendar says, don’t panic. Of course “tomorrow” might be September 5th too, but soon it won’t matter in the slightest — well, except for the loser of the game … on September 5th. [STAR TAGS: Sophia Knight Exclusive Video, Breanne Benson Exclusive Video, Jeanie Marie Sullivan]

Sophia Knight
9/1/13

Kristal Summers has a birthday on this date. This one happens to be special, however, as after much research we have determined that it will be the only one in 2013, so that deserves a celebration. Of course only Maverick could decide that having Kristal dress up in a latex nurse outfit for him qualifies as a birthday celebration for her, but those Brits … . What’re ya gonna do? … At least Mav contributes to the cause with his “Nurse Sandie” U.K. version, and that helped. Next year, though, we’re all lobbying for Mav to bring Nurse Sandie TO Nurse Kristal. THAT sounds like a party. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers, Sandie Caine Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

Nurse of the Sandie Variety
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Love for A Basic Kylie

Under Where? (Briefly)

by Calvin Craftsman

Andy and Kylie[Originally we ran this on the Members’ Section to promote Kylie’s new radio show. Sadly, that one ended. … Happily, another one began, so we’re doing another plug — this time in the free section. Her radio shows happen to be free (at this point in time) so it seemed appropriate.]

This was to be a relatively elaborate “throw” into one of the sister sites “under” the risqué commune, but Maverick has been spending too much time with D.Minion — clearly. [For some reason when Mav said he decided to post his entire “AEE Event” on 247 in one post, we thought that meant he would make it a lot shorter. Nope. He just meant he would put all the coverage up at one time so that he could get on with the business of finding women in the U.K. to get naked for him. … Silly us. All in all, I blame Kristal.]

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June 2013 Risque | New Stuff

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

6/28/13 We considered a deeply thoughtful examination of the philosophical conceits implicit in a “bad influence” label. We considered learned insights from amongst the world’s most highly qualified sex experts. We considered introspection on a scale heretofore unseen in even our habitually raw handling of the emotional aspects of performance in the adult industry. … Then we decided, naw, maybe we should just appreciate Becca, Kylie Ireland, Rayveness, Asia Carrera, and even Jonathan Morgan — what the heck. After all, “epic” comes and “epic” goes, but beautiful naked and sexually free women, that merits thoughtful examination. [STAR TAGS: Becca, Kylie Ireland Video, Rayveness Video, Asia Carrera Video]
Imagine the Emotional Implications
6/21/13 A popular online dictionary defines a “Maverick” as an intellectual independent thinker. … Well, our Maverick could be that, although in all honesty it would have to be for something other than his obvious intellectual preference for beautiful naked blonde women like Kristal Summers and Anais. And would we all not like to know how they watered that particular family tree? [STAR TAGS: Anais, Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Dee Exclusive Video, Michael Ninn]
Anais. Close to perfect.
6/16/13 Have you ever wondered what would happen should Michael Ninn become an astronaut? Well, somehow we wander through Alisha Klass and Shy Love, with a pleasant Georgia Adair diversion, as a matter of fact, and end up with Michael potentially art directing the cosmos. All in all this may be one of those excellent opportunities you have to simply look at the pretty pictures and video. Too many words can lead to beer, and that can lead to stronger drink, and before you know it, you’ll be watching porn. … Oh, right! That would be perfectly fine. … We forgot. [STAR TAGS: Sasha Grey, Georgia Adair Video, Shy Love Video, Michael Ninn]
A Daring Georgia Adair
6/13/13 Dear Julia Ann had a party at her house last weekend where all the women got naked and swapped clothes. Sadly, we do not get to see any photos from this event, it being apparently of the private sort. And we do not get to hear about any resulting orgy either, because the discussion of the rescue dogs takes up all the room. On the other hand (as it were) Julia does spice up a different dinner entirely, and we do get to sneak in a little Sasha Grey. Overall, we’ve had worse days. [STAR TAGS: Sasha Grey, Julia Ann Video, Zana Video]
The Other Grey's Anatomy
6/8/13 So what if every one of us made $30,000 every time we had sex? Well, not only would we be trying to have a lot more sex than we’re currently having — assuming that such an endeavor would turn out to be even theoretically possible — but it also means that we’d have a lot less time to be all mean and roaming and pillaging and such. The world would be a lot better place then, right? OK. So bread would be a lot more expensive too, but we should try to remain open to new things it seems like. [STAR TAGS: Georgia Jones, Kacey Jordan Video]
A Mind Open to Things, Metaphorically
6/6/13 Did you ever see Something About Mary with Cameron Diaz and that Favre guy from the Green Bay Packers? Well, today’s nudge toward Commune Goodness does not feature Ms. Diaz, sadly enough, but we do get to see Shayla LaVeaux and Kristal Summers shower together in our “Something About Steve” feature. It’s probably not as funny as the Mary Movie overall, but at least it does NOT feature that Favre guy. Steve never liked him. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Kristal Summers Exclusive Video,]
Something About Steve
6/2/13 By the end of June we will all have completed half of the 2013 calendar year already. How does that seem possible, right? Well, time flies. Things change, and yet beautiful naked women remain fascinating. Don’t we all feel so much better knowing there are at least some constants in life? [STAR TAGS: Audrey Hollander, Barbara Doll, Nicole Lace, Natalia Forrest, 247AdultStars.com Video]
Fun, Fun, Fun ... Without a T-Bird in Sight
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April 2013 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

4/29/13 How many adult web sites can you think of that spend any time at all talking about the weather? Well, this one does, but in all honesty we have historically shunned any attempts to find out if people ever question our sanity. Seriously, what good can ever come of a question like that? At best you learn what you already know, and at worst … well, let’s just get on with our weather forecast with Keri Windsor, shall we? … Beats the heck out of some graphical map with a bunch of “Ls” and “Hs” all over it. [STAR TAGS: Kylie Ireland Video, Keri Windsor Video]
Good Forecast
4/25/13 Apparently the NFL Draft begins tonight, with all sort of people simply thrilled beyond belief that they will have something new to talk about in a sport that will not even see competitive action for another five months or so. Of course these same people have been spending time listening to a radio station where people call in and ask what might hypothetically happen if any number of a lengthy string of variables turn out in one precise way. So there’s that. … All in all, the whole Ménage à Trois competition seems easier to understand, so we mainly consider that instead. [STAR TAGS: Meghan Sweet, Hanna Reilly, Jenna Jameson Video, Eva Tiffany Video]
football
4/21/13 April 22nd — a fine day in many regards — also happens to celebrate Earth Day once again, so we should be fruitful and multiply, or multiply some fruit trees, or conifers or something. You should probably not try to be overly fruitful with conifers in private, however, as that sounds like it might hurt. In our Risqué Business efforts to contribute to a Green Earth, we have thoughtfully provided some soothing activities for afterwards courtesy of Shayla LaVeaux and Wendy Divine, actually. Heck, you probably won’t even have time to look up the word deciduous. [STAR TAGS: Wendy Divine, Maya Divine, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]
Divine Relaxation Methods
4/20/13 Helen Keller said, “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.’ … With all due respect to the wonderful contributions to the world made by Ms. Keller, it still seems like it might be better to be able to see TJ Hart and Randy Spears today. Seriously, “heartfelt” takes on a whole new dimension. In the vein (speaking of hearts, and all), we would like to publicly thank Kylie Ireland for her ever-unique contributions to our little group. Also, we would like to apologize for our pundit influence on her team. … Um … Oops. [STAR TAGS: TJ Hart Video]
Shot through the hear, and we're to blame.
4/15/13 It would seem appropriate on this particular date in America to offer up some decidedly non-taxable benefits for our members. We even go so far as to tip our hats to the Living Art of Cytherea — happily without needing to declare those tips, per se. We fully intended to work the U.K. taxation system into this introduction as well until we realized that even as a group we understand their methodology even less than we understand our own. We did come up with a question, however: If you decide to masturbate in the “Loo,” does that make you Looney? [STAR TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Tanya Cox Exclusive Video, Shayla LaVeaux, 247AdultStars.com]
Shayla LaVeaux
4/9/13 Protracted political observations highlight our insights today, certainly destined to keep you awake at night trying to reconcile centuries-old principles with policy for a modern and progressive America. Or you might prefer to look at the fun photos Kristal Summers sends in from her cell phone, or even watch Kristal and Shayla in nude preparation for — well, predictable — future interaction. We of course think you should spend valuable time thinking about contemporary political issues, but have provided handy-dandy icons to skip over those wordy parts — just in case. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Kristal Summers Exclusive Video]
Kristal Showing Both Sides.
4/6/13 We had a deeply thought-provoking and erudite (at least in a music history sense) introduction ready today, involving legends Tina Turner and Rod Stewart pairing for a grand display. Then someone (We will not mention who, but it rhymes with C.Minion) pointed out that Donny and Marie also sang It Takes Two. Basically that killed the whole idea. One can in fact know too much music history as it turns out. You will have to fill in your own intro for “What’s in Two Names?” Sorry about that. [STAR TAGS: Madison Chandler, Jeanie Marie Sullivan Video]
Lee Stone and Jeanie Marie
4/1/13 Somewhere along the line we all learned that “fools rush in where brave men fear to tread.” Of course none of us really “tread” all that much anymore, preferring to mosey, chill, blend, or some other term you have to be freshly out of your teens to even know. Those with skills born of long experience among us may even saunter, but nobody treads. Of course by the time you may be reading this, we have no idea what the current expression for “hanging out” will be, but you should be doing that as you read some righteous news today. Groovy. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Sunny Leone, Julie Cash, Kylie Ireland Video, Julia Ann Video, Michael Ninn]
Strong Useful Friends
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