Filed Under: Michael Ninn

December 2010 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

12/31/10

At this point we’ve pretty much given up on Business as Usual around here, as everyone has pretty much fallen into the Full Panic mode about the upcoming convention. When we decided to put that Countdown for Gibby on top of New Stuff, we didn’t really anticipate that this would result in common wails of AAAARGH! in the office – every time somebody here opens up the site to check something. Presuming we haven’t been overrun by a collection of pirates, one might assume that the old “Ignorance is Bliss” theory definitely seems to hold water in this establishment. Of course, since we’re almost always happy here, that should give us reason to worry, right? … We’ll think about that, and y’all enjoy Bullet Points from DM. [FEATURED TAGS: AEE 2010, Rayveness, Nicki Hunter, Christy Canyon, Raylene, Ginger Lynn, Veronica Hart, Jessica Drake, Monique Alexander, Eva Angelina, Julia Ann, Sasha Grey, Jesse Jane, Nina Hartley, Chloe, Sunset Thomas, Exclusive Video]

Get Real. Really?
12/27/10

You know how it feels when you get the opportunity to hang out with a friend that you’ve had for going on 20 years? Well, that’s how we’ve been enjoying for the past few months as we’ve all been showing off what we can do for just such a friend, Shayla LaVeaux. Today happens to be Shayla’s birthday, and today also happens to mark the launch of Shayla’s brand new personal web site. Members here get that access for FREE, and all of Shayla’s members will also get to hang with the rest of us for the same price. We’ve had a saying around here that we’ve used for years: “Things tend to work out.” … Happy Birthday, pretty lady. We love you. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux]

Shayla Preparing to Reveal – An Excellent Day
12/25/10

Sometimes simple works best: Merry Christmas. [FEATURED TAGS: Merry Christmas!]

Appropriate Christmas Ornaments
12/24/10

Don’t you just love presents? In the long list of quirks resulting in social deficiency that we possess around here, not being Politically Correct doesn’t even make the Top 40 list in all probability. Consequently, we feel quite comfortable just saying “Have a Holly, Jolly Christmas” and offering up another collection of gifts that you really shouldn’t share in just your basic family gathering. On the other hand, it does make us feel quite good to be able to offer this to the Members, and if that makes us odd, well, we weird people need love too. [FEATURED TAGS: Justine Joli, Anais, Georgia Adair, Jana Cova, Angel Cassidy, Charlie Lane, Jassie, Moni Michaels, Melissa Lauren, Audrey Hollander, Brittney Skye, Marie Luv, Daisy Marie, Heather Vuur, Heather Vandeven, Rita Faltoyano, Michael Ninn]

Nice Things to find Under Your Tree
12/22/10

It’s … a Poetry, Nudity, Gala (Oh, My!) … And for what it’s worth, we’ve never heard tell of Cytherea actually appearing in a home having magically come down the chimney, but we can assure you that she’d be welcome most anywhere we suspect. At the very least she provides a lot of decorative value to the area, regardless of the season. And while we make no claim to Shakespearean aspirations around here, we can do a dandy bit with the Limerick. If you have the time to wander through, you might even enjoy the poetic license. If you just have time to gaze at Cytherea, you’ll definitely enjoy her license to thrill. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea]

What Santa Wishes for at the Bottom of the Chimney
12/20/10

Did you know that even porn stars can get jealous when “their” man participates in a scene? Well, strange as it may seem normal human emotions don’t completely abandon a woman just because she’s decided on this rather atypical career choice. On the other hand, even in the presence of these feelings the guy usually gets to escape with all his limbs intact – even if not so much his breath. … If any of you folks out there ever find yourself in this unusual situation, take some advice from someone who’s seen it a lot: Walk away clean, and whatever you do, don’t brag too much. Shayla LaVeaux, Olivia Del Rio, and Anthony demonstrate a point (or two) this time around. That’s handy. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Olivia Del Rio]

Olivia, of the River and the Angels
12/17/10

If you live long enough, you’ll get an opportunity to use the word “redact” in a sentence. Actually, if you happen to work for one of the various “critical” agencies for the U.S. Government, you’ll probably get to use that word all the time — generally in response to the bellows of all those pesky But The First Amendment is Important! people. On the upside, we use bellows a whole lot more than we use gallows these days, so that seems like progress. [FEATURED TAGS: Sunny Lane, Kimberly Kane, Evan Stone, Erica McLean, Kaz B. Exclusive Video, 247adultstars.com]

We Wonder as She Wonders ... Festive, Aren't We?
12/13/10

Think about “C’mon Baby Light My Fire” … And if you know anything at all about Cytherea’s “speciality” in her adult performances, you know that if she did in fact light your fire, she could at least put it out all by herself. If you don’t happen to know what we’re talking about with Cytherea, well, you certainly will after a careful perusal of today’s video example. If you don’t understand “C’mon Baby Light My Fire” at all, just check YouTube. You’ll figure it out. And once reaching the video clips, if you wonder why someone in our Video Department went to all the trouble to create the complicated blueprint graphics as the background for the little introductions, we can explain that easily here too. Upon questioning we learned that this resulted from the simple fact that “Cytherea wrote the blueprints on this type of scene.” In addition to Web Geeks, Video Dudes also think they’re funny. … On the upside, you’ll even understand the Classic 60’s song reference at the end of DM’s story too. It’s fun around here. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Video, Taylor Hayes Video]

Fire in the Hole
12/10/10

Have you ever had a party with a bunch of porn stars and all of the sudden they all decided to pile on each other and pose for naked pictures? … OK. So probably not, but there are a great many worse ways to spend an evening in life. So we decided to look at a life of one of those stars today, and then illustrate her adorned with Devinn Lane, Kristal Summers, Dee, and Wendy Divine. That’s a heck of a good way to be adorned, just so you know. [FEATURED TAGS:Kristal Summers, Dee, Wendy Divine, Devinn Lane, Jessica Drake, Cheyenne Silver]

Party with the Porn Stars
12/7/10

The more philosophically positive around here try to remember today for a different reason than history aficionados. Today, of course, happens to be Chasey Lain’s birthday. Naturally we have always wished the best for Chasey, and she’s (by all accounts, including her own) doing well. She’s actually talking about learning some web design techniques, which would make her a certainly entertaining person around the office. Consequently we’re doing some celebration of our own around here today, and giving a public vote of confidence for another lass that has had career hiccups – albeit those being of a substantially less physically risky than Chasey’s past. As D.Minion says, “We just want everyone to be happy.” [FEATURED TAGS: Capri Anderson, Chasey Lane Video, Isabella Video, Daisy Marie Video]

Happy Birthday Chasey
12/2/10

Each of us brings a unique perspective to life, well, unless you happen to be one of those lacky “Dear God, Don’t Let Me Lose My Job” types in Washington, D.C. of course. Of course gradations of “unique” come into play, and both D.Minion and Sunny Lane certainly represent Whos of Different Hues if you want to look at it that way. Put them both in a Las Vegas hotel room, and you can imagine where the conversation (to say the least) will go. Since we’ve now started serious planning for the upcoming Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas, this little soirée seemed the perfect beginning. One thing about Vegas with a boatload of porn stars, you can find soirées out the ying-yang. … There’s another title in there somewhere. [FEATURED TAGS: Sunny Lane Exclusive Video, Alexis Texas Exclusive Video, Veronica Hart]

Sunny in Full Soiree

October 2010 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

10/31/10

Goblins and Witches and Ghouls. Oh my. … Curious. Possibly creepy. We spy. … And that’s about enough poetry for today we expect. … Hey, sexual interest takes many forms, and as long as everyone playing falls into the “Consenting Adults” category, we try pretty hard to avoid judgment. Besides, on this particular day, it will be a lot more fun to think about chocolate in its various forms. Of course you might want to consider today’s videos while you enjoy something sweet. And if your personal something sweet happens to be a real live person, well, all the better. [FEATURED TAGS: Juli Ashton, Ashley Long, Michael Ninn Video]

Juli Ashton being a Weenie
10/28/10

You know how you can tell that our lives have changed, and products just aren’t what they used to be? Well, one way would probably be when you find a mouse nest in your garage made out of a d-CON box. Assuming you don’t live someplace where you notice mice trying move indoors for the winter, you might notice that current events seem a lot funnier than they used to be. We decided that the second topic would probably be more interesting than the first today. We’re clever like that. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers, Brittany Andrews, Capri Anderson]

“Ho“d on to Your Horses
10/24/10

Today the NFL has promised that they will take none of the violence out of the professional game, while they concurrently attempt to force the highly-paid players to stop hitting each other so hard. OK. So you might consider that what they’re really trying to do may be to avoid the really, really bad publicity that will result when a player breaks his neck and suffers paralysis, but what does it matter really? That’s clearly a wonderful goal, regardless of how awkwardly the League has phrased its approach. For those of the decidedly less violently motivated you might consider Shayla LaVeaux and Brittany Andrews “Playing in Pastel Perfection” – these lasses pursuing an altogether different wonderful goal of their own. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Brittany Andrews]

Technically Brittany and Shayla in this Photo
10/19/10

[We don’t usually just quote Maverick’s 247AdultStars “What’s New” entries, preferring as a rule to let the folks that decide to visit there peruse the European edition of the entry. Today we opted to just quote the lad. … ] “Sadly, this scene nearly didn’t ever see the light of day. One of our cameras chose this very day and shoot to go down. It locked up completely, and no matter what our tech people (and everyone else we could find around) could do, the temperamental electronics just refused to play well with others. What you’ll see today comes from a recovery of the very tape in said camera at its petulant demise. (We still shot on DV tape then.) After repeated efforts, much pleading, even more cursing, and a whole lot of video gymnastics, we finally managed to capture the tape, but not at the normal quality we would generally enjoy. We wouldn’t want you to miss out on Syren’s solo scene, however, so we added a few filters, termed it “ism” (as one of our favourite American directors, Michael Ninn, likes to call “artistic style” ) and finally bring the scene to you. No matter where you happen to be in life, a truth survives: Some women are worth the wait.” [Makes you want to watch it, right? Of course we’ve added our own little flair for those Members that choose to enter here. What’s the point of being Risqué if you don’t feel special?] [STAR TAGS: AdultStars247.com, Cytherea, Syren Sexton, Exclusive Video]

A Way to Certainly Party Hearty
10/14/10

Driving around the circuitous streets of Los Angeles yesterday we saw a license plate that read “2GR8M8TS” on a vehicle driving much too leisurely for its presence on the 101 Freeway, truth be told. Upon reflection back at the office, the more naive among us attributed a touching “romantic” notion to the sentiment, while the more cynically-inclined pointed out that the owner could well have simply been a well satisfied bigamist. As often happens around here, though, the incident served to point out that every coin of seeming good fortune has (at least) two sides – which (also as often happens around here) provided us with a dandy segue into a discussion of modern life as a porn star performer. Fortunately for all of you, it remains easy to skip all the economic philosophy set against a current events background and just look at the beautiful women performing in a technologically advancing environment. … If more people taught economics with naked ladies, you’d have probably paid more attention in college, right? [FEATURED TAGS: Holly Sampson, Juelz Ventura]

Somewhat Idealized Teacher and Student
10/10/10

Wow. Good things must be supposed to happen on 10-10-10. Honestly when we scheduled the conclusion of D.Minion’s coverage of Cytherea’s first-ever shoot for her own web site, we didn’t actually recognize the numerical significance of today. Of course we’ve never been averse to taking full credit for an absolutely accidental stroke of good fortune. Come to think of it, that must be what Sean Michaels thought when Cytherea first approached him about “trading” a little good time between them. Never underestimate the value of serendipity. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Sean Michaels]

Bed Ideas for Cytherea
10/7/10

Between all of the (some say vastly over-educated) people around here, we have a pretty good vocabulary en toto, as it were. (And, no, that doesn’t have anything to do with a small dog from Kansas.) That said, many times in life a 5 cent word can beat the heck out of one of those $10 ones. So with the official launch of CYTHEREA’S NEW MEMBERS’ SIDE today, and after much careful consideration, we came up with just such a perfect little word: WHEW! … Now that may not mean much to some of the less geeky out there, but if you consider the alterative approach that came in second place, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail,” … well, you can see why we just went with WHEW. Does anyone else find it odd that the some of the most “hopeful” philosophies of the Bible come from the book Lamentations? … Yeah, we know. That’s hardly the only ironic part. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Video, Exclusive Video]

Cy's Sighs and Thighs of Relief
10/5/10

We’ve been crunching so much code getting Cytherea’s new Blog designed to her standards that we almost forgot a very important birthday today. OK. So the odds of D.Minion forgetting this birthday are somewhat worse than her deciding to be a last-minute write-in gubernatorial candidate for the state of California, but she’d probably have as good a chance at success with the job as either of the other two already bitter people actually on the ballot. Still she did insist we “Celebrate with Juli” today, and she even enlisted some assistance from Dee. And Juli must be in the prime of life now, or at least her age is a prime number this year. That counts, right? [FEATURED TAGS: KSEX Radio, Dee, Juli Ashton]

Always “Dee“Lightful

August 2010 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

8/31/10

Did you ever see The Wedding Crashers? … Well we can assure you that you’ve never seen the concept explored quite the way that Cytherea does it. Come to think of it, Cy’s little “version” might have made a wonderful addition to the actual movie, and would even have contributed some exceptional comedic tension. … Of course if they had included this Cytherea bit, the movie probably wouldn’t have played in as many theaters as it did. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea]

Cytherea's Vision of Love
8/27/10

Let’s say you’d really enjoy a job where all you have to do all day long boils down to taking pictures of Shayla LaVeaux naked. In that case odds seem good that you’d feel like you have a pretty darned good job. It would also mean, of course, that you have D.Minion’s job, and if you’re curious – at least the way she explains it – you’ll have to pry the job out of her cold, dead, fingers. Of course that would be another issue altogether. Still it always makes us happy when we can work a Constitutional allegory into an adult web site introduction, and let’s face it, a naked Shayla LaVeaux pretty much makes everybody happy. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux]

Shayla. Understand now?
8/25/10

As much as it seems like we try to avoid current events around here, sometimes we just can’t ignore them. To wit, Lon noticed an amazingly relevant article in his local Las Vegas paper that could have deeply personal ramifications for all of us at the January convention. It brings into play the potential for pithy commentary from our British arm, via the reporting of Dear Maverick, and it may quell feelings of despair for a situation that last year we felt portended ill for our favorite bargain lodging on the Strip. … To make it a little more interesting, assuming it be possible that you’re not planning on attending AVN’s annual shin-dig, we have also popped in a few rather sultry photos of Inari Vachs in bright yellow thigh-high boots that we’ve had floating around the office for some time. That always brightens a day, and, besides, how many times do you really get to say “to wit” in life? [FEATURED TAGS: Inari Vachs]

Inari Creating a Thish High Sigh
8/22/10

We have formally resolved, you may be glad to hear, to keep putting the “fun” back in dysfunctional. … OK. So as a technical matter that falls more into the “analysis of our usual situation made by a visiting friend this past week” than it does the “resolution” category. Still, we can’t see anything particularly wrong with this approach to life, and we certainly can’t argue with the assessment. If nothing else, today’s editorial and accompanying view of obscure architecture illustrates our philosophy perfectly. Don’t you just love it when that happens? [FEATURED TAGS: Tenaya Video, Erica McLean Video]

Fine Architecture in its Own Right
8/18/10

You English majors out there may remember that the final line of The Great Gatsby reads, “So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.” Now if you’ve actually read the book you’ll probably be a little worried here, but we can assure you that D.Minion’s fond account of Vicca and Nikita happens to be a whole lot more cheery than the resolution with Jay Gatsby (or Nick Carraway, if you’re a stickler for literary details). Let’s face it: If you feel a need to look back on life, having two beautiful Russian women in it helps a whole heck of a lot. [FEATURED TAGS: Vicca, Nikita, Juli Ashton, Doria,Savannah, Gina Stasia, Diva, Alexandra Silk, Shelly Jones, Angela Ayers]

OUR Femme Nikita
8/13/10

Now supposing you had a “leader” (of some sort or another) whose parents gave him the name “Lucky” at birth. You might be inclined to think that Friday the 13th could turn out to be atypically interesting days for folks that hang around with this chap, right? (Hey, after you’ve seen the name “Lucky” printed on an actual driver’s license, the whole leap into numerology and mythology really doesn’t take much. Trust us.) … At any rate, because of this special day, we decided to break our usual tradition and do back to back posts regarding the lovely Tenaya. It turns out the last entry stirred some feelings around here, and if an adult web site can’t share some stirring feelings with you, well what good are they anyway? [FEATURED TAGS: Tenaya]

More Good Clean Fun with Tenaya
8/9/10

Most of you know how much we love to celebrate holidays around here, so we just had to do something special this morning. … What holiday, you may wonder? … Why, naturally, it’s “eight, nine, ten” – and you don’t even have to be a history (or math) whiz to know that this just doesn’t happen very often. Odds are good we’ll be around for “nine, ten, eleven” and probably even “ten, eleven, twelve” – but after that all bets are off. If any of us are around for the next “eight, nine, ten” well, we’d better be a lot richer by then. That’s all we have to say. Well, except that we’re celebrating today with Tenaya. We should probably mention that. [FEATURED TAGS: Tenaya Video]

Tenaya in a Slightly Less Revealing Moment
8/7/10

Kristal Summers makes a darned fine office assistant, an assessment you’ll likely agree with after today. Of course Kristal Summers makes a darned fine almost anything, so perhaps that’s not saying much. On the other hand, when you have an entire day devoted to Kristal, how much time do you really need to waste saying anything at all? [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers]

Kristal Dresses Up an Office, Doesn't She?
8/3/10

If you think of the lyrics “What EVA … Cocks Your Pistol, What EVA … Toots Your Whistle” and then you think of a clever parody of a classic Statler Brothers song, well, you’d have the same brain as exactly one person in the office here. If, however, when you think of EVA you think of “Angelina” why then you’d match everyone else. Depending upon whom you ask here, you’d either be a very savvy aficionado of adult movie fare, or woefully ignorant in your knowledge of 1970’s country music. You get to determine whether a failure in either area bothers you more as you go with D.Minion coincidentally on set with Eva Angelina. We should warn you: This will be one of those “better have a beer with you” sorts of posts. Maybe two. [FEATURED TAGS: Eva Angelina, Angela Stone, AJ Bailey, Joey Valentine, Wanda Curtis, Michael Ninn]

Eva with A Leg Up on the Competition

June 2010 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

6/30/10

You know how comfortable old friends can be? When they happen to look like Shayla LaVeaux, and they happen to have Shayla’s decided openness about nudity in general, well, they make darn good house guests too. Of course Shayla happens to be much more than a pretty face, and she has some dandy ideas about excellent travel arrangements, as we learn today. She’s even gotten into the spirit of our liaison with our British bud Maverick, although we’d be willing to bet she’s going to win the flirting contest with pretty much anyone named “Lexi” that you’re likely to run across. As long as we get to watch, though, we don’t really care who wins. (Hey, sorry about that Mav.) [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Phoenix Ray, Evan Stone]

Shayla with Phoenix Ray, Sadly not at Our House
6/26/10

Oops! We’ve mentioned this before, but we really hold to the opinion that you should never let the boss at your place of employment actually do any important work. It’s just going to get messed up, either because they haven’t done this particular task for years, or (in a technology field like ours) they may well have never known how to do it in the first place. Consequently we’re putting up the picture set courtesy of Michael Ninn’s wonderful skills at still photography today, that actually should have gone with the story a couple of days ago. We suppose it’s nice that somebody noticed, and we do appreciate all those (occasionally annoying) “silver lining” people around here, but for their benefit, we felt obliged to close with this little bit of wisdom we’ve acquired over the years: When you wake up seemingly stuck in life’s same ol’ thing circle, you should never forget that not everyone who shows up is there to help you. [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Jordan, Jana Cova, Georgia Jones, Faye Reagan, Karlie Montana, Jennifer Dark, Michael Ninn]

The Breast We Can Do
6/24/10

Here’s something we learned this week: Hockey introduced the first testicular guard, the Cup, in 1874. The first helmet showed up in use in 1974. Consequently, this means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. That kind of adds a little perspective to evolution, doesn’t it? Speaking of evolution, that concept as it pertains to the personal relationships of porn stars actually mirrors the lives of the rest of us mere mortals more than you might think. Theoretically we’re continuing our analysis of the issue, this time benefited by “The Janas – Jordan and Cova” – not so much because they’re vital to the illustration as because they’re just really darned beautiful. One needs standards in life. And one needs to be able to define the logic behind those standards as one sees fit. [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Cova Video, Jana Jordan Video, Michael Ninn]

A Leg Up on the Competition ... (sorry)
6/20/10

Most of us really hate doing something over again. Of course most of the time we don’t have Wendy Divine offering up some very good reasons to do so. We won’t belabor a rather mundane web coding point here, but if you want to read about how this all came about you can certainly do so. Of course if you just want to see the 225 rather impressive pictures of Wendy enjoying herself with Nick Manning, well that’s fine too. For what it’s worth, Nick seemed to be doing certain things over and over again, and he seemed fine with the concept. It’s really wonderful to make Wendy smile, actually. That’s probably what Nick was after. [FEATURED TAGS: Wendy Divine, Nick Manning]

Waiting with Wendy, and Worth the Wait
6/18/10

Do you want to start an interesting conversation tonight? As you’re sitting down with your Significant Other to eat dinner, just try out this sentence and see where the conversation takes you: “So, if you had a clone, and I had sex with the clone, would that be cheating, since the clone is by definition an exact copy of you?” … OR … If you prefer to actually eat your food, as compared to wearing it, you might talk about the wonderful insights on Georgia Jones that you derived from the risque.com Members’ Area today. … OR … Maybe not. … This all comes down to how understanding your Significant Other happens to be, and doesn’t that just about sum up life perfectly? [FEATURED TAGS: Georgia Jones Video, Michael Ninn]

And Then Along Came Jones
6/13/10

Apparently at least the East Coast newspapers haven’t learned a whole lot in the last 230+ years. It wasn’t exactly Bunker Hill, but when U.S. and England tied in a soccer match yesterday, the coverage in that part of the country celebrated like we’d actually won the contest. Fortunately we devote absolutely no time whatsoever trying to figure out why that might be as we instead delve into the “Bonus Evolution” of our own special Brit. … Seriously, we’re probably way too American to understand why people seem to get this excited about the World Cup anyway. It’s not like they’re playing football or anything. [FEATURED TAGS: AdultStars247, AVN Awards, AEE, Faye Reagan, Sasha Grey, Lexi Love, Exclusive Video]

Mystery Women in Repose
6/10/10

Brandy. What a fine girl. In fact, what a good wife she would be. But D.Minion’s life, her love, her lady, is Marie. … Some days are just like this around here, and while we could apologize for the occasional pun and references to very old songs, it wouldn’t make them any less painful. Members have learned to either forgive or ignore us; we’ve never been quite sure which. … And if other adult sites don’t work in this fashion, well, We pity the fools. [FEATURED TAGS: Brandy]

A fine girl by any other name ...
6/7/10

If you look around and you notice a bride having sex with the groom and a priest in one room, and a couple of basically naked women cutting the heart out of a guy in another room, you’re either at a Kylie Ireland movie or one of our office parties. … OK. So we’ve never really killed anyone at an office party, but we did see what transpires when someone gives Kylie “artistic control” of certain parts of a movie, and then asks her to direct as well. … She ends up casting herself as the bride … and then that other stuff we just talked about happens. We call it A White (Trash) Wedding, because that’s the way we are. [FEATURED TAGS: Kylie Ireland]

A Bride Walks Into This Bar ...
6/3/10

What could possibly possess someone to travel to the middle of the some Fates-Forsaken desert in 100-degree heat? OK. So thirteen beautiful porn stars hanging around a swimming pool wearing itty-bitty bikinis might do it. … But not much else could, right? … Fortunately for us, we’re going with the thirteen beautiful porn stars scenario, and today we’re letting you in a little bit about how this all came about. We’re also packing sun screen and looking up on the internet how to fake sunstroke. Do you think porn stars give mouth-to-mouth if you have sunstroke? How about a hurt leg? … We can limp. [FEATURED TAGS: Monique Alexander Video, Belladonna Video, Stormy Daniels Video, Exclusive Video]

Monique Alexander. We feel faint.