Filed Under: Rita Faltoyano

December 2010 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

12/31/10	At this point we’ve pretty much given up on Business as Usual around here, as everyone has pretty much fallen into the Full Panic mode about the upcoming convention. When we decided to put that Countdown for Gibby on top of New Stuff, we didn’t really anticipate that this would result in common wails of AAAARGH! in the office – every time somebody here opens up the site to check something. Presuming we haven’t been overrun by a collection of pirates, one might assume that the old “Ignorance is Bliss” theory definitely seems to hold water in this establishment. Of course, since we’re almost always happy here, that should give us reason to worry, right? … We’ll think about that, and y’all enjoy Bullet Points from DM. [FEATURED TAGS: AEE 2010, Rayveness, Nicki Hunter, Christy Canyon, Raylene, Ginger Lynn, Veronica Hart, Jessica Drake, Monique Alexander, Eva Angelina, Julia Ann, Sasha Grey, Jesse Jane, Nina Hartley, Chloe, Sunset Thomas, Exclusive Video]
12/27/10	You know how it feels when you get the opportunity to hang out with a friend that you’ve had for going on 20 years? Well, that’s how we’ve been enjoying for the past few months as we’ve all been showing off what we can do for just such a friend, Shayla LaVeaux. Today happens to be Shayla’s birthday, and today also happens to mark the launch of Shayla’s brand new personal web site. Members here get that access for FREE, and all of Shayla’s members will also get to hang with the rest of us for the same price. We’ve had a saying around here that we’ve used for years: “Things tend to work out.” … Happy Birthday, pretty lady. We love you. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux]
12/25/10	Sometimes simple works best: Merry Christmas. [FEATURED TAGS: Merry Christmas!]
12/24/10	Don’t you just love presents? In the long list of quirks resulting in social deficiency that we possess around here, not being Politically Correct doesn’t even make the Top 40 list in all probability. Consequently, we feel quite comfortable just saying “Have a Holly, Jolly Christmas” and offering up another collection of gifts that you really shouldn’t share in just your basic family gathering. On the other hand, it does make us feel quite good to be able to offer this to the Members, and if that makes us odd, well, we weird people need love too. [FEATURED TAGS: Justine Joli, Anais, Georgia Adair, Jana Cova, Angel Cassidy, Charlie Lane, Jassie, Moni Michaels, Melissa Lauren, Audrey Hollander, Brittney Skye, Marie Luv, Daisy Marie, Heather Vuur, Heather Vandeven, Rita Faltoyano, Michael Ninn]
12/22/10	It’s … a Poetry, Nudity, Gala (Oh, My!) … And for what it’s worth, we’ve never heard tell of Cytherea actually appearing in a home having magically come down the chimney, but we can assure you that she’d be welcome most anywhere we suspect. At the very least she provides a lot of decorative value to the area, regardless of the season. And while we make no claim to Shakespearean aspirations around here, we can do a dandy bit with the Limerick. If you have the time to wander through, you might even enjoy the poetic license. If you just have time to gaze at Cytherea, you’ll definitely enjoy her license to thrill. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea]
12/20/10	Did you know that even porn stars can get jealous when “their” man participates in a scene? Well, strange as it may seem normal human emotions don’t completely abandon a woman just because she’s decided on this rather atypical career choice. On the other hand, even in the presence of these feelings the guy usually gets to escape with all his limbs intact – even if not so much his breath. … If any of you folks out there ever find yourself in this unusual situation, take some advice from someone who’s seen it a lot: Walk away clean, and whatever you do, don’t brag too much. Shayla LaVeaux, Olivia Del Rio, and Anthony demonstrate a point (or two) this time around. That’s handy. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Olivia Del Rio]
12/17/10	If you live long enough, you’ll get an opportunity to use the word “redact” in a sentence. Actually, if you happen to work for one of the various “critical” agencies for the U.S. Government, you’ll probably get to use that word all the time — generally in response to the bellows of all those pesky But The First Amendment is Important! people. On the upside, we use bellows a whole lot more than we use gallows these days, so that seems like progress. [FEATURED TAGS: Sunny Lane, Kimberly Kane, Evan Stone, Erica McLean, Kaz B. Exclusive Video, 247adultstars.com]
12/13/10	Think about “C’mon Baby Light My Fire” … And if you know anything at all about Cytherea’s “speciality” in her adult performances, you know that if she did in fact light your fire, she could at least put it out all by herself. If you don’t happen to know what we’re talking about with Cytherea, well, you certainly will after a careful perusal of today’s video example. If you don’t understand “C’mon Baby Light My Fire” at all, just check YouTube. You’ll figure it out. And once reaching the video clips, if you wonder why someone in our Video Department went to all the trouble to create the complicated blueprint graphics as the background for the little introductions, we can explain that easily here too. Upon questioning we learned that this resulted from the simple fact that “Cytherea wrote the blueprints on this type of scene.” In addition to Web Geeks, Video Dudes also think they’re funny. … On the upside, you’ll even understand the Classic 60’s song reference at the end of DM’s story too. It’s fun around here. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Video, Taylor Hayes Video]
12/10/10	Have you ever had a party with a bunch of porn stars and all of the sudden they all decided to pile on each other and pose for naked pictures? … OK. So probably not, but there are a great many worse ways to spend an evening in life. So we decided to look at a life of one of those stars today, and then illustrate her adorned with Devinn Lane, Kristal Summers, Dee, and Wendy Divine. That’s a heck of a good way to be adorned, just so you know. [FEATURED TAGS:Kristal Summers, Dee, Wendy Divine, Devinn Lane, Jessica Drake, Cheyenne Silver]
12/7/10	The more philosophically positive around here try to remember today for a different reason than history aficionados. Today, of course, happens to be Chasey Lain’s birthday. Naturally we have always wished the best for Chasey, and she’s (by all accounts, including her own) doing well. She’s actually talking about learning some web design techniques, which would make her a certainly entertaining person around the office. Consequently we’re doing some celebration of our own around here today, and giving a public vote of confidence for another lass that has had career hiccups – albeit those being of a substantially less physically risky than Chasey’s past. As D.Minion says, “We just want everyone to be happy.” [FEATURED TAGS: Capri Anderson, Chasey Lane Video, Isabella Video, Daisy Marie Video]
12/2/10	Each of us brings a unique perspective to life, well, unless you happen to be one of those lacky “Dear God, Don’t Let Me Lose My Job” types in Washington, D.C. of course. Of course gradations of “unique” come into play, and both D.Minion and Sunny Lane certainly represent Whos of Different Hues if you want to look at it that way. Put them both in a Las Vegas hotel room, and you can imagine where the conversation (to say the least) will go. Since we’ve now started serious planning for the upcoming Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas, this little soirée seemed the perfect beginning. One thing about Vegas with a boatload of porn stars, you can find soirées out the ying-yang. … There’s another title in there somewhere. [FEATURED TAGS: Sunny Lane Exclusive Video, Alexis Texas Exclusive Video, Veronica Hart]

April 2007 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

4/23/07	Some of us are taking off today, folks, and we just wanted to let you know. It’s been six years since the “leader” (whatever the heck that means, and why the heck would anyone want to be one of those anyway?) has taken a true vacation, and that’s what’s going to happen. Allegedly many, many things will be ongoing in abstentia, but … well … allegedly, and all. … Regardless, everyone enjoy a little bit of the spring time in your area and we’ll see you the second week of May. It might work; who knows? My dad always used to say, “Columbus took a chance.” … Of course I’d always respond that, “He had to run because he was schtupping the Queen and the King found out; he didn’t really land where everyone thinks he landed, and, besides, he’s dead.” I’ve never been very good at lessons, in case you hadn’t noticed.
4/23/07	You know the thing about controversial opinions? They’re easy to ignore and just get on to the serious jobs of looking at Julia Ann and Kristal Summers naked. If you’re the thinking sort of person, controversial opinions might also be good to argue with (and when you’ve got Juli Ashton on your side that’s an easy thing to do), but even thinking people tend to get distracted by Julia Ann and Kristal Summers naked. (You can see that, right?) You think this is why thinking people don’t run for public office? And would we really want someone in public office that has never seen Julia Ann and Kristal Summers naked? … We think NOT! … Of course sometimes we’re wrong. And sometimes we’re right. … It gets confusing, if you want to know the truth. [FEATURED TAGS: Julia Ann, Kristal Summers]
4/19/07	We’re thinking about Contract Players in general today, which bring up the anticipated thoughts of Jana Jordan and perhaps some slightly less obvious ones about Anais. Then we’re also thinking about Katsumi, Vanessa Hill, Anna Karin, Dillan Lauren, Rita Faltoyano, Kelly Taylor, Rita Faltoyano, Nikita Denise, Brittney Skye and Kenzie Ryan, so we’re really pretty busy, all things considered. Still, if you have to be busy, being so with a collection of women this beautiful pretty much makes it OK. And all in all, pretty much OK seems like a fine goal for any day. [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Jordan Video, Anais Video, Katsumi, Vanessa Hill, Anna Karin, Dillan Lauren, Rita Faltoyano, Kelly Taylor, Rita Faltoyano, Nikita Denise, Michael Ninn, Exclusive Video]
4/13/07	We looked up the origins of triskaidekaphobia today, because we thought this would make for a fascinating exposé – not to mention appropo, considering the “lucky” chap always roaming the hallways here. Then after sufficient research we decided, Naw. That’s too confusing. Let’s just show off Jana Jordan and the XRCO Awards we just attended. … Now it’s not that we avoid the technical and generally run from anything that’s too complicated around here …. Oh, wait a minute. … It’s EXACTLY like that. Our bad. … Heeere’s Jana (and Kristal Summers, and TJ Hart, and some others by the way) … [FEATURED TAGS: XRCO Awards, Kristal Summers, Jana Jordan Video, Georgia Jones, TJ Hart, Nikita Denise, Michael Ninn, Exclusive Video, D.Minion]
4/7/07	Imagine you have the chance to meet Heather Vuur. Now imagine you have a chance to meet Heather Vandeven. … Obviously those of you “in the know” would thus know that this would be the same thing, however confusing it sounds. Well, today, unless you happen to live in Hollywood and are very, very fortunate, you don’t have either of the choices anyway. Sorry. But you do have a chance to see D.Minion’s coverage of Meet Heather, and you do have a chance to see a home that reaches the absurd in its ability to store clothing. Also, Selina Draagen, Kellemarie, Kelly Kline, and Zoë Britton are hanging around and they don’t seem to care about clothes at all. Sometimes in life even “just what you get” can be rather dandy. [FEATURED TAGS: Heather Vuur Video, Heather Vandeven Video, Selina Draagen Video, Kellemarie, Kelly Kline, Zoë Britton, Lorraine Sisco, Michael Ninn, Exclusive Video, D.Minion]
4/1/07	If you do the unusual all of the time, does it then become usual? And if it’s now usual then how can it be unusual at the same time? Fortunately, as with many philosophical questions, our standard answer works quite well: We don’t care. For example, whenever there’s a bear in the woods, our goal remains never to be around long enough to see what it does there. Speaking of animals, though, we think someone might be pulling our leg on this April Fool’s Day. The “usual” possibility exists that Bubblegum the Dog did not in fact write this account of when Jana visited Innocence. We’re usually very skeptical, which clearly makes it not unusual. [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Jordan, Alexis Love, Lena Nicole, Amber Rayne, Jamie Elle, Alana Langford, Sasha Grey, Michael Ninn]

December 2006 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

12/29/06	It’s magic. Or maybe it’s just common. We sometimes have difficulty making that distinction, but we’re amazing adept at noticing really beautiful naked women like Kristal and Dee. In the grand scheme of things, that seems like a comfortable compromise. [FEATURED TAGS: Julia Ann, Kristal Summers, Dee, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Devinn Lane Video, Exclusive Video]
12/25/06	Even by our own amazingly lax standards today’s Holiday Celebration stretches the “weird” category to new dimensions. Still, even D.Minion would consider this wonderfully “personal” and a happy minion makes for a happy new year. This seems a quite reasonable goal in the grand perspective. Besides, Juli Ashton, Shayla LaVeaux, Chasey Lain, Vicca, Nikita, Norma Jean, Kaylan Nicole, Serenity, Phaedra Alexis, Stephanie Swift, Stacey Valentine, and Katja Kean (just to name some of them) sound pretty darned festive to us. [FEATURED TAGS: Juli Ashton, Shayla LaVeaux, Vicca, Nikita, Taren Steele, Roxanne Hall, Stephanie Swift, Stacey Valentine, Avalon, Norma Jean, Chasey Lain, Kaylan Nicole, Serenity, Phaedra Alexis, Audrey Hollander, Heather Vuur, Heather Vandeven, Monica Mayhem, Faith Leon, Katja Kean, Justine Joli, Karlie Montana, Michael Ninn, Risque News Insight]
12/24/06	Today we present a pre-party present that you can precisely see presently. (There’s some debate about the “personal” nature of this adventure, but by most definitions, considering it not so would be a preposterous proposition.) And now you needn’t rely on prescience. … When you’re at a loss for something to say, we say go with alliteration. It doesn’t necessarily mean much, but it sure is fun. [FEATURED TAGS: Georgia Adair Video, Dee Video, Exclusive Video, Michael Ninn]
12/18/06	We’re pretty sure this is the first time we’ve ever put up BTS before even the Facade of BTS. Of course we’re also convinced that we’re very clever and ever-so-amusing, so clearly we have some unresolved issues. Still, Lorraine Sisco in charge of Mika Tan, Otto Bauer, Nikki Benz, Jenaveve Jolie, Daisy Marie, Alexis Love, Kaiya Lynn, Jerry, Ben English, Barry Scott, and Jean Val Jean ought to go a long way toward forgiveness, we figure. Of course we could have that wrong too. … Oh, dear. … See why we try to avoid this treacherous path of reasoning. It’s better just to enjoy the pretty people. … And have some ice cream; that’s good too. [FEATURED TAGS: Mika Tan Video, Nikki Benz, Jenaveve Jolie Video, Daisy Marie Video, Alexis Love Video, Kaiya Lynn, Exclusive Video, Michael Ninn]
12/12/06	You know how we always say that truth is stranger than fiction? Consider this, and we promise that it’s true. … We were riding in a new SUV that one of the Risqué ladies happened to have picked up recently, and we couldn’t help but noticing a vast collection of “sticky notes” plastered on the dash. “I just love this new car,” the fair lass bubbled, “that little plastic screen is the perfect place to put directions for places I’m going.” … Honestly we waited as long as we could before pointing out that she was in fact using “sticky notes with directions” to cover up the vehicle GPS system. … Sometimes in life it’s best just to sit back and enjoy it. And that’s what we figured to do today as we immerse ourselves in Chris Hall’s pictures on the set of Aperture. Real photographers are fun to visit sometimes, but we must be honest and point out that Chris forgot to get any pictures of domestic animals or guys on ladders. [FEATURED TAGS: Heather Vuur, Heather Vandeven, Daisy Marie, Ginger Lea, Rita Faltoyano, Holly Wellin, Risque News Insight]
12/9/06	Altruistic goals guide the male porn star, as we learn today, and then we give some evidence to back up our speculation that most female porn stars didn’t grow up milking cows and slopping hogs. Odd to think that we’re accomplishing this with a push into the Christmas Spirit with on the set coverage of Axel Braun’s Silent Night. We should warn you, though, D.Minion saw real live chickensand guys working on ladders. You might want to just skip those shots and concentrate on the ones of Riley Evans and Regan Reese. It’s really up to you. [FEATURED TAGS: Regan Reese, Riley Evans, Michael Ninn, D.Minion]
12/6/06	Today could be a lot of fun. … Or today could be kind of frustrating. … Or today could even be repetitive, depending upon your personal history. … As a group we’ve chosen cheap Self-Help Book Philosophy: Happiness is there in life for everyone. All you have to do is grab it. … Clearly none of these moronic authors was ever a Bronco fan any time in the 60’s and early 70’s, or over the last three weeks, come to think of it. (That last part was not a “group” consensus, actually.) [FEATURED TAGS: Michael Ninn]
12/5/06	We have been corrected today, as we show you D.Minion’s stills from Kristal Summers’ First AND Second Cam Shows. And we just feel horrible about the mistake. Or else we don’t give a whit, so long as there continues to be beautiful naked women around. Gosh. We always get these little details confused. And we’d worry about it more, but we apparently still have a lot of pressing lobbying to do. So many cat people, so little time … [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers, D.Minion]
12/2/06	We’re taking “flashing” to a level we actually don’t mind so much. Basically our philosophy has always just been to “not suck” and this effort falls solidly into that category. D.Minion exercised some unusual clout today too, though, but we’re blaming Carol, who said “that sounds like a great post” in some secret communication or another. Let’s just say that as pets go, dogs are still better. So there. [FEATURED TAGS: Jassie Video, Moni Michaels Video, Exclusive Video, Michael Ninn]
12/1/06	Apparently it’s rather chilly in many parts of the country, and so we thought we’d offer up a few Jamaican views with Dee (and Kristal Summers and some others). Granted, we’re also using the fun footage to further our educational quests, but if you can’t learn with naked women, well then what fun would life be anyway? [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers, Dee Video, Exclusive Video]

November 2006 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

11/26/06	So Geekdom continues as we try (painfully) to catch up with those who must be kept. Although this time it involves Georgia Adair and some miscellaneous father figures instead of ancient vampires and the like. … If one can do nothing else, at least one should amuse oneself. Hello, mudder, hello fodder … [FEATURED TAGS: Georgia Adair Video, Exclusive Video, Michael Ninn]
11/21/06	We’re trying not to say too much today, in the hopes that most people might just overlook this entry entirely. True, there is a particulary beautiful woman (OK. It’s Kristal Summers.), and she may well be doing particularly interesting things. Still there must be something else you could be doing other than thinking up ways to say unnecessary things on the Message Board after watching what’s in store for today. Isn’t your dog sick or something? Don’t you need to call your mom? [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Video, Exclusive Video]
11/19/06	Naturally most of you will be way too busy today watching football to see any of the insights that Maverick finally decided to give us (along with the “documentary” video naturally) from his last g/g shoot. Still, since they only have “that other kind of football” over there in the U.K., though, today seemed like a good time to give those dern foreigners (which is pretty much what we call everyone that doesn’t watch football, regardless of their place of domicile) something to do. The rest of you can catch it on Monday after work. No. … That won’t work because of Monday Night Football on ESPN, and since Thursdays are now gone starting this week with new night games on the NFL Network, you’re pretty much going to have to fit it in on Tuesday or Wednesday, or just make an excuse for being late for your weekend dates. Hey, nothing valuable comes easy. [FEATURED TAGS: Alyssa Leigh Video, Kaz B. Video, Keana Moiré, Virginia Chambers, Stacy Silver, Twigy, Nela Norrington, Zoe, Barbara Summer, Kia Winston, Exclusive Video, Maverick]
11/15/06	Oh, goodness we have many, many pictures today. We’re off for a couple of days to attend a Digital Video Convention down in LA, and we thought we’d give you a little to look at while we’re gone. Silly us. Maybe we should have thought this through a little more carefully before we plopped down some 300-odd (and some very odd) photos to go through in Days Two and Three of D.Minion’s typically epic coverage of the shoot. Ah well, it is the rest of the Aperture shoot, and so it is Heather Vuur, and Marie Luv, and Daisy Marie … and yada, yada. Sometimes people over-complicate things in life. You learn that lesson today too. [FEATURED TAGS: Rita Faltoyano, Daisy Marie, Heather Vuur, Heather Vandeven, Ginger Lea, Holly Wellin, Marie Luv, Lorraine Sisco, Dee, Michael Ninn]
11/10/06	Ah-Hah! We have found the solution to the temptation to run off at the mouth/keyboard that we sometimes see around here. If you just limit the day to one scene, and then you place it in a location that’s functionally impossible for D.Minion to get to, you actually end up with a manageable amount of text and pictures that now define Day One on the set of Aperture. Wow. … Still, we see two sort of major problems with this. First, no human being we’ve ever met can claim any sort of influence over how Michael will do anything at all associated with his movies, and second, the trouble with finding solutions to temptations seems historically to be that the pesky temptations simply mutate into something a lot more formidable. For now, however, we’re comfortable with blind optimism. [FEATURED TAGS: Heather Vuur, Heather Vandeven, Carli Banks, Lorraine Sisco, Michael Ninn]
11/9/06	Sometimes things get lost in translation. That happens. … It doesn’t often happen, however, between the U.S. and the U.K. it would seem. Other than the odd “knickers” reference and a “fag” here or there confusion, we can really communicate fairly well we’ve always thought. Granted, we’ll never understand blood sausage, and although rugby has its appeal, to us a “cricket” will always be a harmless little bug that makes pleasant noises in the evening. Still, overall, we pretty much understand each other. Consequently, our scientists ought to be able to communicate just fine as well, right? Well obviously something got mucked up in the trek across the Atlantic because although we all know that carrots are good for our eyesight, the way that we get that nifty vitamin A into our systems somewhat differs from how they appear to over in Maverick’s land. Ah, well, it’s good to be open minded, and if you learn something early in the day, you get to go back to sleep. [FEATURED TAGS: Alyssa Leigh, Kaz B., Maverick]
11/7/06	Another Ninn Worx shoot is in the books, or on the HD Tapes, or whatever, and we’re back in a much more peaceful land. Our favorite crew t-shirt of this shoot read: I’m like a Superhero – with no powers or motivation. That may not excuse much, but as an explanation we found it wonderful. Speaking of not having excuses, GO OUT AND VOTE TODAY. We’ve provided a little visual humor on which you can ruminate during your travels to the polls, and we don’t even care how you vote. It is most important that you do so, however. Pictures are just very brief moments in time, and your actions today have a chance to be a little more than that. OK. Enough Soap Box … There’s also some wonderfully interesting Becoming Georgia Adair insights here too by the way. [FEATURED TAGS: Georgia Adair Video, Exclusive Video, Michael Ninn]

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