Filed Under: Alexis Texas

November 2014 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

11/30/14	You know how the day before a long weekend turns into only technically a work day most of the time? Well, mix an upcoming four-day weekend with 80-degree temperatures at the beach, and … well, you’ll have to read it to believe it. In the alternative, you can enjoy some rather dazzling Inari Vachs views along with some Extraordinarily Risqué Thanksgiving Leftovers. All in all, it beats the heck out of cold turkey sandwiches, and we like those a lot. [STAR TAGS: Inari Vachs]
11/28/14	Uncle Gibby gets a little help with Day Four of his “tempt everyone to come to the AEE in January” efforts. As a rule many writers take a bit of umbrage at this, but one can hardly complain about assistance from Nina Hartley. And besides, as anyone who lives in Wisconsin with Gibby can tell you, they do not even need umbrage there. It hardly ever rains. [STAR TAGS: Lexi Belle, Nicole Aniston, Natalia Starr, Madison Ivy, Jesse Jane, Sunny Lane, Samantha Saint, Riley Steele, Skin Diamond, Nina Hartley Video, AEE Day Four Exclusive Video]
11/27/14	Everyone should take about 20 minutes of their day off today and walk a mile or so around wherever you call home. Honestly it won’t take more than that for you to come up with many reasons for Giving Thanks on this day dedicated for such. Too often we get caught up in the minutiae of our lives to the point where we lose sight of what’s really important and how many people have it much worse than we do. In fact, we should probably take this 20 minutes every day, but then we’d eventually get fired, and that would be bad … . [STAR TAGS: Inari Vachs]
11/21/14	Our plan about getting everyone excited about the upcoming (“and completely revamped” as we hear it) convention in Las Vegas for AVN seems to be working almost too well. Now everyone in the office has been whining about how each of them really needs to go this year and what wonderful things they could accomplish if given the chance. Consequently it seemed appropriate to enhance Uncle Gibby’s Day Three coverage from last year with a little of Michael’s Temptation. Hopefully between that and some dazzling photos of Cytherea taken by Ginger Lynn we can cushion the inevitable despair that will soon follow as folks learn The Vegas Contingent will not change all that much this year. [STAR TAGS: Cytherea, Kristal Summers, Lexi Belle, Aiden Ashley, Selena Rose, Holly Michaels, Allie Haze, Christy Canyon, Dee, Devinn Lane, Cassidey, Danni Ashe, Janine, Dani Daniels, Bianca Blaze, Victoria Zdrok Video, Linn Thomas Video, Michael Ninn, AEE Day Three Exclusive Video]
11/19/14	Just let us hear some of that Zdrok and Stroll music … OK. So none of us has ever made it big in the music lyrics business, but we do know enough to appreciate Victoria Zdrok as she strolls about a room. Kylie and Shayla join in the appreciation folder today as well, so basically we’re pretty happy — all except the writers, who remain fairly bitter. Some devilish Chickadee took it upon herself to email everyone the lyrics to What Does the Fox Say? That’ll piss off anyone that writes for a living. [STAR TAGS: Victoria Zdrok, Linn Thomas, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Kylie Ireland Video, Michael Ninn]
11/16/14	You need to pick your battles in life. Unless you happen to be really super-rich and can afford unlimited people to help you endure conflict in every instance where you sense an injustice, no one has enough energy to argue about everything — all the time. Just ask any divorced couple. They’ll tell you. Of course even more Celeste Star probably never caused most divorced couples any conflict, but if she did, honestly we’d love to hear about it. Then we can do even more of even more of Celeste Star. [STAR TAGS: Jana Jordan Video, Celeste Star Video, Michael Ninn]
11/14/14	Day Two of The Uncle Gibby Experience debuts today with the predictable assortment of porn stars and fermented beverages. All things considered, one might think of a great many experiences not nearly so enjoyable. All in all, it must be good to be King. [STAR TAGS: Jessica Drake, Aiden Ashley, Lexi Belle, Celeste Star, Jessica Jaymes, Jessa Rhodes, Alexis Texas, AEE 2014 Day Two Exclusive Video]
11/11/14	Throughout the day we will all be reminded of those that have taken a vastly different track in life and been willing to pay the ultimate price so millions of people they never met can enjoy a free existence. Of course we should always remember these people, but it probably says something about Americans that we had to change the name to Veterans’ Day because not enough people know what Armistice means anymore. Kylie Ireland helps us celebrate in our traditional fashion, but we all have rather more typical feelings of gratitude today. [STAR TAGS: Super-Secret Star, Kylie Ireland Video]
11/7/14	Hundreds of different web sites “cover” the AVN Trade Show in January, and each of them rushes out to be the first on the scene with, well, essentially the same story as last year. Being admittedly weird, we took a different track this year. With stunning cleverness, we held off our day by day reviews, waiting until last year’s coverage could help get everyone excited for next years show. It seemed rather novel to actually give people enough notice to make some plans if they have always wanted to join us at one of these. That’s what we meant to say about ourselves, come to think of it: We’re novel. Not weird. … Certainly not. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Kristal Summers, Kylie Ireland, Celeste Star, Jayden Jaymes, Bonnie Rotten, Bailey Blue, Nina Hartley, Riley Reid, Lexi Belle, Jesse Jane, Debi Diamond, Annika Albrite, Raven Rockette, Jessica Drake, Stormy Daniels, Sunny Lane, AEE 2014 Day One Exclusive Video]
11/4/14	We always try to do something a little special on these national election days, just on the off chance that people do not want to spend all of their time watching network projections. Regardless of who or what wins, though, 100% of the people in the land will be absolutely thrilled that at least we have seen the end of all the annoying commercials for the next year and a half or so. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Olivia Del Rio, Laura Palmer, Roxanne Hall, Randi Rage, Cytherea Exclusive Video]
11/2/14	Everyone celebrates in their own way, and for our part we would like to go on record as saying that any celebration that includes Celeste Star will be perfectly fine with us, no matter how accurate the timing. We call it A “Celesteal” Pooling, but you might be too busy saying, “Wow!” to call it much of anything. [STAR TAGS: Celeste Star Video, Michael Ninn]

June 2014 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

6/29/14	Beware the Caption Conflagration today, although we have made it fairly easy to avoid, what with us being all kind and benevolent and stuff. We have also provided excellent diversion in the form of Shayla LaVeaux and U.K. star Chantelle Fox. You may consider them separate, but equal, in fine constitutional manner. We did need to say for the record, though, that the Sonny and Cher references were not our fault. … [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Chantelle Fox Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
6/23/14	Do you know the difference between a complex sentence and a cat? Well as it turns out you can learn some fun things while reading Stephen King — a chap possessing a literary expertise you will likely never, ever see around here quite honestly. On the other hand, you will find us substantially less gruesome as a rule too, and we have a lot more beautiful naked women. So there’s that. … Oh! The difference between a complex sentence and a cat? … One has claws at the end of its paws … [STAR TAGS: Juli Ashton, Shayla LaVeaux, Dee, Alexis DeVell, Kaylan Nicole, Taylor Hayes, Chasey Lain, Devinn Lane, Doria, Jenna Jameson, Renee LaRue]
6/19/14	We all like watching athletes going for the win. If we’re going to live vicariously through them, we sort of expect them to do things we cannot accomplish on our own, after all. Being extra-special, naturally, Cytherea takes that concept one consonant further as she opts to go for the “Wynn” — as in Tyla. Interestingly enough, as she adds one little letter, Cytherea removes all of their clothes. Seems like an excellent trade for the vicarious amongst us. [STAR TAGS: Cytherea Video, Tyla Wynn Video, Roxetta, Michael Ninn]
6/15/14	One could make an argument that the sum total of all human knowledge appears somewhere on a t-shirt. “Never underestimate the immense power of Stupid People in large groups” seems to be the current office favorite, although between all of us, we have quite a selection. We could easily have “What’s your funniest t-shirt?” in the job application form, truth be told. On a topic completely unrelated to stupid people — and not in a large group anyway — we get well read with Riley Reid for a bit today. [STAR TAGS: Riley Reid, Kylie Ireland Video]
6/12/14	Nobody likes missing “The Moment” at any time. When, however, “The Moment” includes an afternoon alone in a hotel room with Shayla LaVeaux while she finds various locations in which she might masturbate, well, some of those “nobody” people that missed This Moment really don’t seem all that happy about it. Seems odd, right? They get to see the pictures (and video) just like everyone else. Sheesh. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Megan Foxx, Sunny Lane, Sasha Heart, Nicki Hunter, Erica McLean]
6/7/14	Testosterone just complicates things. We get the whole “necessary for the survival of the species” thing, but if you ever get a chance to visit a movie set for a show that has no males in the cast, that should be the one you make room for in your schedule. You know how obnoxious — and a little pitiful — men can be in a bar situation where they’re just hoping to get laid? Just imagine the strutting they do on a movie set where they know they’re going to. If deflated male egos did not result in time delays from deflated male “other parts” we might actually be honest about how the women on set view them. [STAR TAGS: Alexis Texas, Ashli Orion, Audrey Bitoni, Brynn Tyler, Jordan Kingsley, Kagney Linn Karter, Kayla Carrera, London Keyes, Tory Lane, Penny Flame, Nina Hartley]
6/4/14	Woe be to us and the burdensome tasks we face spending quality time with porn stars. We remain dedicated professionals, however, withstanding vast personal difficulty while bringing in the story. Hey, if you think you have ever felt like an insignificant anonymous person before, you ought to try walking into a casino with Kristal Summers. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers, Shayla LaVeaux]
6/1/14	The question “May I?”might be rather ingrained into anyone that went to school in America, but clearly the teachers did not have “Dee’s May” in mind when they came up with their lesson plans. Should you be a Member, then you might see “May We Please” at a different level, and as a completely different sentence fragment. Should you not be a Member, well, then that’s sad. May — the Force — IS with us. [STAR TAGS: Dee Video, Juli Ashton Video, May Video, Jade Marcella]

Alexis Texas to a Tea (Time)

Setting the Moods by Ides de Marzo Here’s a startling revelation: People that make their livings naked can be a moody and temperamental bunch. Men, of course, have only two basic moods — hungry and horny — and you will invariably find them either happy or sad depending upon how long it has been since […]

Stars:Alexis Texas

Location:Los Angeles

Setting:Movie Set

Technique:Editorial, Professional

March 2014 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

3/31/14	Your basic “cowgirl” doesn’t really wear a purple snakeskin hat and shiny pink pants. Of course you’d think that even your basic adult movie star should probably remember if she ever had anal sex on camera before. As it turns out, our basic risqué cowgirl happens to be Kristal Summers, and seeing as how the hat and pants happen to be the only things she ends up wearing for this layout, we didn’t actually get too wrapped up in genre accuracy. Go figure. As for the second theory here, well, according to Cytherea, some of those early years are still a little murky to the lass. We call that one Forgotten Butt, of Course. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers, Cytherea Video]
3/27/14	Odds seem good that we have all met one of those people that will proudly explain how little ego they have. There seem to be quite a lot of them, for whatever reason, and not one of them has ever learned the word “irony” or the Concept of Karma. If you have known one of these people for a long time, however, retrospect can tug on a few different emotions in us. People don’t simply stop being friends because they somehow jump from fame to infamy, but that can be difficult to explain to someone new to the environment. Take Marc Wallice and Jenna Jameson, for example. [STAR TAGS: Jenna Jameson Video, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Christi Lake Video]
3/21/14	People into Numerology must think that 3/21/14 would be an excellent day to do something special. Look at it: There’s a hidden seven and all kinds of threes in there. That’s got to count for something, right? … OK. So technically none of us knows the first thing about numerology, but we do recognize the heat in (and on) Alexis Texas having sex, and seriously, that probably gets more attention than numbers anyway. [STAR TAGS: Alexis Texas Exclusive Video]
3/17/14	According to Rich Gannon on NFL Radio — the acknowledged expert on everything, of course — people will consume 13 million pints of Guinness on this St. Patrick’s Day. Factoring in our contribution, that means the rest of the world needs to be responsible for somewhere in the vicinity of 12,999,991 pints today. Now we don’t know where all of that will come from, but we have an excellent idea about where 155 beautiful braless “Erins” will come from. [STAR TAGS: Erins Go Braless! Kylie Ireland St. Patrick’s Day Audio]
3/15/14	Supposedly the middle of March happens to be a big threat because we should theoretically fear a dreamer? … Obviously things have changed between Shakespeare and Alexis Texas — Social Media being one of the foremost among them, it appears. Or would that be amongst them? It’s all very confusing. We should stick to naked women. Otherwise we thinks we doth protest too much. [STAR TAGS: Alexis Texas, Syren Sexton Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
3/11/14	One of the greatest things about college has to be that about this time every year, the mind starts turning to wonderful, sun-drenched, thoughts about Spring Break. Of course one of the greatest things about being out of college would be that you can take a break any time you want. Granted, you pretty much have to live off the grid, or have really rich relatives, a state that sadly does not define anyone we know. Still, we do get to work with Kristal Summers and Cytherea regularly, so as jobs go, we don’t really complain about this one very much. We will on occasion wonder, however: Where’s a good trust fund when you need one? [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers, Cytherea Video, Lauren Phoenix Video, Scarlet Red, Romance]
3/5/14	Since yesterday everyone celebrated “Fat Tuesday” would it not make sense that we should call today “Skinny Wednesday” from now on? It sure sounds a lot more pleasant than Ash Wednesday, for example. Also, it makes a lot more sense to Get the Skinny on Dee & Anais Breaking Glad than it does to think about them all covered with ashes. Eeew. [STAR TAGS: Dee Exclusive Video, Anais Exclusive Video]
3/2/14	Consider us one big ol’ happy group of sexual philanthropists. Granted, it would seem pretty silly to imagine a big ol’ unhappy group of sexual philanthropists, so you might as well just go with the easy one. As a rule, we like that approach in life — and not just when it applies to our women. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video]