Filed Under: Alexis Texas

December 2010 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

12/31/10	At this point we’ve pretty much given up on Business as Usual around here, as everyone has pretty much fallen into the Full Panic mode about the upcoming convention. When we decided to put that Countdown for Gibby on top of New Stuff, we didn’t really anticipate that this would result in common wails of AAAARGH! in the office – every time somebody here opens up the site to check something. Presuming we haven’t been overrun by a collection of pirates, one might assume that the old “Ignorance is Bliss” theory definitely seems to hold water in this establishment. Of course, since we’re almost always happy here, that should give us reason to worry, right? … We’ll think about that, and y’all enjoy Bullet Points from DM. [FEATURED TAGS: AEE 2010, Rayveness, Nicki Hunter, Christy Canyon, Raylene, Ginger Lynn, Veronica Hart, Jessica Drake, Monique Alexander, Eva Angelina, Julia Ann, Sasha Grey, Jesse Jane, Nina Hartley, Chloe, Sunset Thomas, Exclusive Video]
12/27/10	You know how it feels when you get the opportunity to hang out with a friend that you’ve had for going on 20 years? Well, that’s how we’ve been enjoying for the past few months as we’ve all been showing off what we can do for just such a friend, Shayla LaVeaux. Today happens to be Shayla’s birthday, and today also happens to mark the launch of Shayla’s brand new personal web site. Members here get that access for FREE, and all of Shayla’s members will also get to hang with the rest of us for the same price. We’ve had a saying around here that we’ve used for years: “Things tend to work out.” … Happy Birthday, pretty lady. We love you. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux]
12/25/10	Sometimes simple works best: Merry Christmas. [FEATURED TAGS: Merry Christmas!]
12/24/10	Don’t you just love presents? In the long list of quirks resulting in social deficiency that we possess around here, not being Politically Correct doesn’t even make the Top 40 list in all probability. Consequently, we feel quite comfortable just saying “Have a Holly, Jolly Christmas” and offering up another collection of gifts that you really shouldn’t share in just your basic family gathering. On the other hand, it does make us feel quite good to be able to offer this to the Members, and if that makes us odd, well, we weird people need love too. [FEATURED TAGS: Justine Joli, Anais, Georgia Adair, Jana Cova, Angel Cassidy, Charlie Lane, Jassie, Moni Michaels, Melissa Lauren, Audrey Hollander, Brittney Skye, Marie Luv, Daisy Marie, Heather Vuur, Heather Vandeven, Rita Faltoyano, Michael Ninn]
12/22/10	It’s … a Poetry, Nudity, Gala (Oh, My!) … And for what it’s worth, we’ve never heard tell of Cytherea actually appearing in a home having magically come down the chimney, but we can assure you that she’d be welcome most anywhere we suspect. At the very least she provides a lot of decorative value to the area, regardless of the season. And while we make no claim to Shakespearean aspirations around here, we can do a dandy bit with the Limerick. If you have the time to wander through, you might even enjoy the poetic license. If you just have time to gaze at Cytherea, you’ll definitely enjoy her license to thrill. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea]
12/20/10	Did you know that even porn stars can get jealous when “their” man participates in a scene? Well, strange as it may seem normal human emotions don’t completely abandon a woman just because she’s decided on this rather atypical career choice. On the other hand, even in the presence of these feelings the guy usually gets to escape with all his limbs intact – even if not so much his breath. … If any of you folks out there ever find yourself in this unusual situation, take some advice from someone who’s seen it a lot: Walk away clean, and whatever you do, don’t brag too much. Shayla LaVeaux, Olivia Del Rio, and Anthony demonstrate a point (or two) this time around. That’s handy. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Olivia Del Rio]
12/17/10	If you live long enough, you’ll get an opportunity to use the word “redact” in a sentence. Actually, if you happen to work for one of the various “critical” agencies for the U.S. Government, you’ll probably get to use that word all the time — generally in response to the bellows of all those pesky But The First Amendment is Important! people. On the upside, we use bellows a whole lot more than we use gallows these days, so that seems like progress. [FEATURED TAGS: Sunny Lane, Kimberly Kane, Evan Stone, Erica McLean, Kaz B. Exclusive Video, 247adultstars.com]
12/13/10	Think about “C’mon Baby Light My Fire” … And if you know anything at all about Cytherea’s “speciality” in her adult performances, you know that if she did in fact light your fire, she could at least put it out all by herself. If you don’t happen to know what we’re talking about with Cytherea, well, you certainly will after a careful perusal of today’s video example. If you don’t understand “C’mon Baby Light My Fire” at all, just check YouTube. You’ll figure it out. And once reaching the video clips, if you wonder why someone in our Video Department went to all the trouble to create the complicated blueprint graphics as the background for the little introductions, we can explain that easily here too. Upon questioning we learned that this resulted from the simple fact that “Cytherea wrote the blueprints on this type of scene.” In addition to Web Geeks, Video Dudes also think they’re funny. … On the upside, you’ll even understand the Classic 60’s song reference at the end of DM’s story too. It’s fun around here. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Video, Taylor Hayes Video]
12/10/10	Have you ever had a party with a bunch of porn stars and all of the sudden they all decided to pile on each other and pose for naked pictures? … OK. So probably not, but there are a great many worse ways to spend an evening in life. So we decided to look at a life of one of those stars today, and then illustrate her adorned with Devinn Lane, Kristal Summers, Dee, and Wendy Divine. That’s a heck of a good way to be adorned, just so you know. [FEATURED TAGS:Kristal Summers, Dee, Wendy Divine, Devinn Lane, Jessica Drake, Cheyenne Silver]
12/7/10	The more philosophically positive around here try to remember today for a different reason than history aficionados. Today, of course, happens to be Chasey Lain’s birthday. Naturally we have always wished the best for Chasey, and she’s (by all accounts, including her own) doing well. She’s actually talking about learning some web design techniques, which would make her a certainly entertaining person around the office. Consequently we’re doing some celebration of our own around here today, and giving a public vote of confidence for another lass that has had career hiccups – albeit those being of a substantially less physically risky than Chasey’s past. As D.Minion says, “We just want everyone to be happy.” [FEATURED TAGS: Capri Anderson, Chasey Lane Video, Isabella Video, Daisy Marie Video]
12/2/10	Each of us brings a unique perspective to life, well, unless you happen to be one of those lacky “Dear God, Don’t Let Me Lose My Job” types in Washington, D.C. of course. Of course gradations of “unique” come into play, and both D.Minion and Sunny Lane certainly represent Whos of Different Hues if you want to look at it that way. Put them both in a Las Vegas hotel room, and you can imagine where the conversation (to say the least) will go. Since we’ve now started serious planning for the upcoming Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas, this little soirée seemed the perfect beginning. One thing about Vegas with a boatload of porn stars, you can find soirées out the ying-yang. … There’s another title in there somewhere. [FEATURED TAGS: Sunny Lane Exclusive Video, Alexis Texas Exclusive Video, Veronica Hart]

May 2010 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

5/30/10	Can you look back at any particular group of days in your life and think, “You know, that was really, really good … “? We assume that almost all of us can do that, and if you can’t, well we’re sincerely very sorry for you. That said, you should really get about setting up one of those times for yourself, and we’ve helpfully provided some suggestions here today. Just as a hint: It helps if you can bring along a few beautiful porn stars. Having someone else foot the bill turns out to be important too. Things definitely don’t go better with broke. [FEATURED TAGS: Vicca, Nikita, Lola, Doria, Heather Hunter, Lexus Locklear]
5/28/10	Advertising Campaigns don’t usually set themselves up as themes in our little Risqué Commune world, but they do seem rather prevalent around here over the past month or so. Consequently, when we decided to keep plodding though all the Dee at KSEX Coverage, the slight (but ever-so-beautiful) bonus at the conclusion became interestingly appropriate. Also, assuming things go according to plan, we’ve now set the stage for a more significant Advertising Campaign Contribution in the future. Of course according to plan always seems to be the wild card around here. One thing about it, our lives are never boring. [FEATURED TAGS: KSEX Radio, Dee, Kinzie Kenner, Lexie L’Amour, Stella]
5/23/10	If you’ll pardon the potentially politically incorrect influence for a moment, we’ll tell you that although we’ve shown all manner of “chicks” around here, this might be the first time we’ve actually shown you chickens. And what, you might wonder, do chickens have to do with Maverick’s observations (and various levels of stalking) with Days 3 & 4 of the most recent AEE? Well, we would tell you, should we deign to answer such a reasonable question, not so much really. On the other hand in this case they do work as a metaphor for the condition that arises when you take a boy out of his normal element and he seeks to commune with nature. Being potentially politically incorrect can be pretty deep it seems. [FEATURED TAGS: AdultStars247.com, Lexi Love, Tori Black, Nyomi Banxxx, Gina Lynn, Nina Hartley, Bree Olsen, Sasha Grey, Jana Jordan, Belladonna, Sunny Lane, Kaylani Lei, Kayden Kross, Monique Alexander, Alexis Texas, Raven Alexis, Sunset Thomas, Shauna Sand, Kelli McCarty, Sunny Leone, AJ Bailey, Riley Steele, Julia Ann, Raylene, Teagan Presley, Exclusive Video]
5/20/10	I wanted to call this “Cytherea Flies Solo Anew” but D.Minion said that would be overly erudite. (Yeah, she talks like that.) Of course “anew” she wouldn’t go for it. … Now how’s that for not overly erudite? … We should probably get to the story. It’s always a bit scary when we start making editorial comments before the author even gets a chance to start the actual article about which we sit posed to comment. … Hmm. Maybe we can be overly erudite. … Ah, well, Too erudite is human. To eschew sublime. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Exclusive Video ]
5/14/10	Confounded you may be by the conceptual alliteration levied today, although you should find it fairly easy to ignore the intrusion into a part of your brain you weren’t seeking to stretch at this time. It’s the latest in the Shayla scenario, and that fairly well covers all the important part. Should you feel particularly erudite, you may also enjoy D.Minion’s Intelligence Quotient contribution, although we’ll tell you right up front that if you happen to be an English Major who grew up on a farm, it will enhance the likelihood of your success. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video, Brynn Tyler Video]
5/10/10	Quick to correct a cultural error, we are. And talk like Yoda, we might. On the other hand, in case you’re curious, we also understand The Trouble with Tribbles. Of course that doesn’t do much to explain the rather festive lesbian liaison we have on tap today between Paola Rey and Marlie Moore, but how much explaining does that really need anyway. Heck it’s probably in the part you just skip over anyway. For what it’s worth, we’d advise against that, honestly. “Once you start down the Dark Path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Consume you it will.” [FEATURED TAGS: Paola Rey, Marlie Moore]
5/8/10	Have you ever seriously considered doing something just because it sounds fun, even if pure logic would probably recommend against the idea? And then have you ever considered that this illogical idea probably sounds “fun” just because it will involve regular interaction with a spectacularly sexy woman? And have you cared? … Well, we’re big fans of sexy women around here, and although we haven’t quite “decided’ what precisely we’re going to do, odds seem good that you’ll enjoy the thought process here. [FEATURED TAGS: Audrey Hollander, Kimberly Kane, Madison Scott, Erica McLean]
5/5/10	Naturally we celebrate Cinco de Mayo every year around here. We’re deep believers in the benefits of cross-cultural understanding, the recognition of world history, and the progressive evolution that marks the ongoing transcendence of the human spirit as it seeks its peaceful nirvana. Also, we pretty much go for anything that includes a party with tequila and guacamole dip. Now our newest risqué office member put together the post for today, and we’ll freely admit that he may have missed the entirely accurate mark. Just as soon as we recover from the cerveza tomorrow we’re going to do a little bit of explaining to him too. Still, what we lack in technical accuracy we more than make up for in raucous conviviality. [FEATURED TAGS: Jessi Palmer Video]
5/2/10	Porn Stars can actually teach us a lot. Now we’d be the first to admit that not everything they can teach us will turn out to be extraordinarily valuable on a regular basis, but any artisan can tell you that a lot of truly fine work in the world starts with simply possessing the right tools for the job. And let’s face it: Who can really tell us better how to handle uncomfortable questions or situations than a Porn Star? And given Dee’s attire during the contribution today, we’re reasonably certain you won’t care if you ever have a reason to put any of the more erudite recommendations to use anyway. [FEATURED TAGS: Dee]

February 2010 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

2/28/10	Maverick and 247AdultStars begin the "official" Adult Entertainment Expo coverage, which makes those of us waiting on the reports from Lon and Steve just a little nervous, quite honestly. If you think about it, one doesn’t need to spend much time writing two or three hundred words, particularly when you’re talking about the contributors around here. Oh well, in typical fashion we’ve decided to panic about that bridge when we suddenly have to cross it, and at least Mav decided to break this mega-event up into four parts. For our part, we’ve decided that only brief editorial comment, supported by a very few quite wonderful pictures of Kristal Summers at home might be just the ticket today. Apparently there’s a big hockey game at the Olympics that people want to watch anyway. At least hockey makes some kind of sense as a sport, we’ll give it that. [FEATURED TAGS: AdultStars247.com, Adult Entertainment Expo, Kristal Summers, Riley Steele, Jesse Jane, Alexis Texas, Tori Black, Sunny Lane, Rayveness, Raylene, Gina Lynn, Jenna Haze, Jenny Hendrix, Jesse Jane, Kayden Kross, Lexi Love, Exclusive Video]
2/23/10	Granted most people in the adult business probably don’t look at the Tiger Woods situation the same way as more "regular" folks do. We certainly don’t want to look at it as often, that’s for sure. It seems to us (at least the males) here, that no one has ever asked the question we really all want to know. How the heck can you be that famous and get away with it that many times with that many women? We don’t give one whit about "why" you did it, but if you could just tell us HOW, that would be useful information. Being (often decidedly) not one of the males here, however, D.Minion brings in her timely (and predictably weird) take on the whole sex addiction scenario. And the benefit of looking at question here? … We get to use illustrations. [FEATURED TAGS: Devinn Lane, Penny Flame Video]
2/21/10	We’re not sure how many of you actually watch the world competitions going on up in Vancouver right now, but we do have a question for any of you that might be more knowledgeable than we seem to be. What kind of a person thinks it’s a wonderful idea to jump on a sled and fly down a winding tube of ice when the first thing that hits something if there’s a problem will be their head? Shouldn’t we all be just naturally wary of a sport called the "Skeleton" anyway? … At any rate, while pondering these more confusing questions, we’re continuing our own Olympic efforts with the Dee at KSEX saga, not only because it stands in marked departure from Mav’s latest entry, but also Dee has really great breasts — which never seem to be covered up by all that necessary winter clothing. [FEATURED TAGS: KSEX Radio, Dee, Kylie Ireland]
2/19/10	This seems to be the ultimate day for sweethearts, which seems to assume the possibility of bitterhearts, right? … And on a completely unrelated topic (Yeah, right.), we finally got a convention report submitted by one of our certainly dedicated professionals. Curiously it was not the most recent convention, but we’re getting closer, so that has to count for something. Also, Maverick’s new post does feature a great many U.K. stars, albeit in a more clothed perspective than we’d prefer. … Finally, just as a public apology here, the date on this post was supposed to read "2/14/10" to not only fit in with the introduction above, but also to coincide with Mav’s Two Year Anniversary of 247AdultStars. The person writing the New Stuff part happened to be on time. The rest of us that had to deal with a completely unexpected deluge of material, well, we were tardy. We explain briefly inside. You’d think by now that we’d have come to expect the occasional deluge from England, wouldn’t you? [FEATURED TAGS: AdultStars247.com, Erotica London, Pixie, Syren Sexton, HollyD, Keisha Kane, Exclusive Video]
2/12/10	Gee. It seems like about a third of the country happens to be buried in winter weather, so we made it our task to provide a splendid diversion today. Without going too much out on a limb here, we’re assuming that getting Topless with Tenaya, and Inari Vachs and Dee working on a nude advertising campaign, just might warm you up a bit. Oh, and in case you’re curious, when we go out on a limb in California, we can still see leaves. [FEATURED TAGS: Dee, Inari Vachs, Tenaya Video, Exclusive Video]
2/9/10	Rumor has it that if you "find a penny, and pick it up, all the day you’ll have good luck." We all know that, right? Now rather a penny, we found a Penny one fine day on a Ninn set, and although we didn’t technically pick her up, we do find the meeting particularly relevant considering the coverage (so to speak) in the risqué queue right now. Don’t you just love it when nudity and brazen sexual activity become relevant? [FEATURED TAGS: Penny Flame, Breanne, Jessica Jaymes, Dee, Lonnie, Michael Ninn]
2/7/10	You may wonder, "Who’s playing at half time in the Super Bowl today?" The answer, simply, would be, "Of course." ("Who is the band playing at half time today?" "Absolutely,") … It always makes for a fun day when you get a chance to pirate an Abbott and Costello routine, don’t you think? … On the off chance that you’re one of the three people on the planet who don’t plan on watching the game (or the commercials) today, then we’re giving you a treat with Uncle Gibby’s brave entrance into professional journalism. More likely you’ll be looking at this some time after the final gun, and you’ll either be happy, or sad, or even just indifferent, but the AVN Awards Show 2010 will still be here to entertain you. As Gibby can certainly tell you now, it’s good to know people who know people. [FEATURED TAGS: AVN Awards, Julia Ann, Tori Black, Kylie Ireland, Syren, Wendy Divine Video, Exclusive Video]
2/3/10	One needs to be well suited toward the adaptable in this business, and today aptly demonstrates how this can be a darned handy survival trick. We almost never follow a feature on one lady with another one of the same lady, but if that’s what seems wisest, that’s what one has to do. Consequently, Tori Black is Back (and we’d all love to hit the sack with her, come to think of it). In our own inimitable way, we’ve decided to call the entry, "Recipe for Catchin’ a Tori" — which probably shows why people don’t really line up to imitate us, if you want to know the truth. In life you have to play the cards you’re dealt, but darned if it doesn’t seem a whole lot easier play when the deck looks like this one. [FEATURED TAGS: Tori Black]

Stars:Alexis Texas| Breanne| Dee| Devinn Lane| Gina Lynn| HollyD| Inari Vachs| Jenna Haze| Jenny Hendrix| Jesse Jane| Jessica Jaymes| Julia Ann| Kayden Kross| Keisha Kane| Kristal Summers| Kylie Ireland| Lexi Love| Lonnie| Michael Ninn| Penny Flame| Pixie| Raylene| Rayveness| Riley Steele| Sunny Lane| Syren| Syren Sexton| Tenaya| Tori Black| Wendy Divine

Year:2010

January 2010 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

1/31/10	Ah, but we love these “Performer of the Year” posts. OK. So we love them even more when we happened – some months ago – to suggest to Mr. Ninn that should his new company really wish to lock up at least one contract player, this woman would be an extraordinary choice. Well, Michael did not in fact sign Tori Black, and ironically her continuing freelance status undoubtedly led to her ability to work enough to capture her lofty title. Still, it seemed like a dandy turn to the more traditional around here if we’d pause our “Seen Behind the Scene” on the industry and just provide some video evidencing that occasionally even AVN gets it right. [FEATURED TAGS: Tori Black Video, Michael Ninn]
1/29/10	Highlighting our dedication to really funny t-shirts, we thought we’d share our favorite entry at the Adult Entertainment Expo this year. It read: I got a dog for my wife, and it was the best trade I ever made. … So it’s not exactly Shakespeare, but it does contain a charming pithiness, don’t you think? Well, speaking of endearing pith (and not Shakespeare), we’re continuing our bizarre (even for us) approach to the AEE coverage with D.Minion’s Behind the Scenes look at the filming of those silly and highly entertaining “Intermission Skits” – which AVN uses at the Awards Show while important and necessary things are happening back stage. Rumor has it that Uncle Gibby has video footage from the audience, he having somehow snaked a “VIP All Access” pass to the event, but we’ve seen nothing official confirming that. We’ll keep an eye out, though, even as we’re off to the store to buy a Snuggie. Then we plan on seeing if we can get Monique Alexander to get into it with … basically anyone in the office she chooses. We’re all pretty much on the same page as far as that goes. [FEATURED TAGS: Sunny Leone, Riley Steele, McKenzie Lee, Kayden Kross, Ashlynn Brooke, Belladonna, Alexis Texas, Monique Alexander, Stormy Daniels, Georgia Jones, Faye Reagan, Ron Jeremy]
1/26/10	As it turns out, the higher the quality of the assets you’re dealing with, the better your equipment needs to be in order to handle it. … Hmm. That’s sort of like dating porn stars if you think about it. … Well, much to his current (and ongoing) dismay, Maverick doesn’t happen to be dating any porn stars at the present, but he does get invited to their parties often. Since he couldn’t handle the low-light video with his system in London, he did have to wait to come to the home office in sunny Southern Cal in order to ready the clip for posting, however. Consequently, the “Christmas Party” reference might seem a bit “dated” (as it were). On the other hand, the concept of beautiful women drinking and getting naked on a dance floor does seem to be one that transcends seasonal interest. We’re fine with it. [FEATURED TAGS: AdultStars247.com, Cate Harrington Video, Katie K Video, Faye Rampton, Saucy Sally, Tanya Cox, Sarah Kelly, Michelle Moist, Tracey Lain, Exclusive Video]
1/23/09	Now we’ve done a lot of fairly bizarre things on the web over the years, but as far as we know today will constitute the first time that we’ve ever posted what boils down to an open email correspondence to the dozen or so aspiring Porn Starlets we talked to at the convention a couple of weeks ago. Perhaps this approach will turn out to be a little less insulting than getting what would have to amount to a glorified form letter (without all that much glory, truth be told), or perhaps the comely lasses may still take offense. We can say for certain, however, that the Members continue to get industry insights that you just can’t find anywhere else. … Of course they’ll have to decide for themselves whether or not this constitutes a good thing. [FEATURED TAGS: Georgia Adair]
1/18/10	Have you ever noticed that the fancier and more sophisticated you get in your work, the longer it takes to accomplish it? Maybe we just get pickier as we get older; that could be it. Whatever the cause, we’ve come up with yet another technical advancement around here, put in place via the newsworthy Expo we just left. It’s darned impressive, if we do say so ourselves. (And honestly, sometimes in life you need to say so yourselves.) These days people get bombarded with a sheer volume of information via the Internet to such an extent that nice people like us need to help. We live to serve you know. [FEATURED TAGS: Adult Entertainment Expo, Exclusive Video]
1/12/10	You’ve probably heard this a lot of times over the years in various contexts: We’re BAAAACK. Now you’ve probably not heard it all that often when you happen to be talking about a group of rapidly aging journalists attending a big honking porn convention, but life has curious turns, so maybe you have. That said, if you’ve been a Member here for very long you understand how hanging around with young, beautiful, people who happen to make their living having sex on camera can provide a youthful influence to any life. Let’s look into that, shall we? [FEATURED TAGS: Adult Entertainment Expo, Devinn Lane, Miko Lee]
1/6/10	True to our occasional form we take awhile to get around the point today, so you might think about just clicking that handy-dandy video icon at the top of the page, thus skipping all the rationale (and metaphysical aspirations) that basically come down to today’s system being an excellent way to torment those we love. Uncle Gibby’s moving into a new phase of the “Commune Risqué” this month, so we’re Suitably Celebrating with Anais and Dee. Hey, if anyone can think of a better way to celebrate than that, please let us know. [FEATURED TAGS: Julia Ann, Dee Video, Anais Video, Michael Ninn]
1/3/10	Generally when we create this “New Stuff” part of the current site entry, we decorate it (while providing a handy visual link to the story) with a thumbnail graphic culled from the story itself. It’s quick. It’s easy, and it makes sense. Occasionally, though, we do weird things around here, and whatever’s on tap for the day doesn’t actually have a quick and ready graphic for us to multitask here. That happened on December 7^th, but little did we know that this one puny image would actually spawn emails full of curiosity. Well, we decided to answer that question, and pose a few more. Even though we’ve all embarked on a New Year, some things really don’t change all that much. [FEATURED TAGS: Charlie Laine Video, Michael Ninn]
1/1/10	The date pretty much says it all here, right? Sadly this could describe way too many dates you’ve had in your life as well, a topic we’ve promised to avoid in the Commune Team Risqué Resolution this year. Putting decade upon decade of experience together we’ve come up with a fail-safe New Year’s Resolution System, and if you want to borrow it, feel free: Aim Low! Disappointment can be really depressing, so we’ve found it best to avoid it as much as possible. For example, we all Resolve to continue to adore Krispy Kremes this year. … See? You can do this. … We also have other Resolutions that involve many, many naked women, but you’ll have to hang around a bit to figure some of those out – the resolutions, not the women. (You can’t figure women out. Decade upon decade of experience has taught us this too.) [FEATURED TAGS: Happy New Year!]

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