Filed Under: Cytherea

May 2014 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

5/29/14

In all probability Jassie will not be appearing out of the blue to give you a blow job today. She probably won’t appear out of the aquamarine or fuchsia either, so you might need a different coloring book all the way around. On the other hand, if one hangs with Jassie, one can never be quite sure what may happen. She’s an exceptional lass, that Jassie. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Jassie Video, Lorraine Sisco, Michael Ninn]

Thinly Veiled Jassie
5/26/14

Happy Birthday to Kylie, both sexy and wily. When she strips down naked, it makes us all smiley. … OK. So it’s not exactly The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, but you have to agree that it’s a lot easier to read. Also, despite his literary prowess, Mr. Coleridge never had lesbian sex with Ashlyn Rae. Well, you know, he was a dude. … Kylie wins again! [STAR TAGS: Kylie Ireland Video, Ashlyn Rae Video]

Kylie Ireland and Her Birthday Gift Ashlyn Rae
5/23/14

Few people on the planet understand network television as well as our own D.Minion. This seems odd to us, because as a rule people do not tend to study things whose primary function seems to be one of causing irritation. Of course weave in the captivating beam of London Keyes, and even the ChickaDees cannot stay sad. Put London in a school uniform, and … well … we just give them all some private time. But we share … [STAR TAGS: London Keyes Video]

London Keyes
5/20/14

An ever-vigilant and thoughtful new member pointed out four missing large images in a post from clear back in 2006. Granted, Heather Vuur does not show any signs of ever becoming “old news” or anything — particularly around here — but we did want to show our appreciation for the effort taken to write in and point out the errors (quite politely, we should add). Obviously we could have simply fixed the four links on the photos, which we did — to cover ourselves whenever someone else goes back there — but then we got to thinking. … OK. So sometimes that can be scary, but sometimes it can also result is wonderful new larger renditions of the photos, along with typically stunning video of Jassie, Brooke, AND Heather Vuur this time. Fans pay attention. Everybody wins! [STAR TAGS: Heather Vuur Video, Heather Vandeven Video, Jassie Video, Brooke Banner Video, Michael Ninn]

Appreciating Heather Vuur
5/18/14

Despite a significant amount of technical prowess in these offices, we have as yet been unable to figure out how to use Parental Lock to keep the DVR from filling up with unwatched episodes of “Too Cute” on Animal Planet. Of course D.Minion has her own ways … as some of learned painfully this week. [STAR TAGS: Cytherea Video, Kylie Ireland Video, Chayse Manhattan Video, Misty Rain Video, Leena Video, Faye Taylor Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

Cytherea
5/12/14

Have you ever wondered why all the beautiful women do all the difficult — notice how we avoided the overly simple pun hard at this point — work around here? Well, it turns out D.Minion remains fairly sure that an overwhelming desire to please her pretty much explains it all. Would that this were only true, we would never again have to ask For Whom the Belles Toil. … (Yeah, that hurt just writing it down. … Sometimes we have no control. You should know that about us. … ) [STAR TAGS: Justine Joli Video, Georgia Adair Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Kylie Ireland, Angel Cassidy, Wanda Curtis, Anais, Charlie Lane, Jana Cova, Audrey Hollander, Michael Ninn]

Justine Joli
5/9/14

Everyone arrived at work today in a wonderful mood. Having each received text messages last evening, it seems we now all have a new favorite Green Bay Packer we have affectionately nicknamed “Monica” — according to our leader. After all, what else does the name “Ha Ha Clinton-Dix” make you think of? … And this strange view of the world pretty much explains all of our Adult Behavior perspectives today. … You learn to adapt; what can we say? [STAR TAGS: AEE 2014 Exclusive Video, Shayla LaVeaux]

Shayla LaVeaux and Her New POV Device
5/5/14

Many, many people will be celebrating Cinco de Mayo today, although according to a new report we heard, apparently the holiday tends to be a lot more popular than in America than in Mexico. If we had paid more attention we might have learned why that happens to be, but we can just take it on faith. It was on the television news. It has to be true. … All of that said, not many people will be celebrating Cinco de Mayo the way we chose to this year — with Mika Tan. Hey, we’ll drink cerveza and ruminate upon Mika. Sounds like a plan. … [STAR TAGS: Mika Tan Video, Lorraine Sisco]

Technically Not a Cerveza Dispenser
5/2/14

Sometimes you meet someone, and the chemistry between the two of you almost feels electric. OK, so most of the time one of you feels attracted while the other feels repulsed, but magnetic fields can be sort of like electricity, so that should count for something. Still, should you find yourself on the “rejected” end of one of these interpersonal dynamics, do not despair. While sadness tends to be depressing, mirth can be quite fun. [STAR TAGS: Jana Jordan Video, Carli Banks Video, Alexis Love Video, Tiffany Sweet Video, Renee Perez, Lena Nicole, Michael Ninn]

Jana Jordan

April 2014 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

4/30/14

Having thus far fallen short of our collective goal of reaching a lifestyle of pure noblesse oblige, we nonetheless feel obliged to offer a noble effort toward understanding world culture. Of course we used on-set adult star interviews in both the U.S. and the U.K. to serve as our illustration, which we admit may fail some arbitrary “significance” standards when it comes to global importance. So while we may not be solving world economic issues with our looks at Georgia Adair and Cate Harrington, our test subjects have boobs. … We win. [STAR TAGS: Georgia Adair Video, Cytherea Exclusive Video, Cate Harrington Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com ]

Cate Harrington - A Maverick Woman
4/27/14

Arising from peaceful slumber this morning, we had every intention of lounging in our respective peignoirs, fully dedicated to eating bon-bons and reading trashy novels. After using Google to discover the meaning of a couple of those terms, though, we figured out that our lives beat the heck out of any trashy novel plot, so we might as well learn a little something this weekend. While we’re on the topic, though, did you know they still make bon-bons? You can find anything on Amazon. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]

Shayla LaVeaux Loves Bon Bons
4/22/14

Gift-Giving etiquette dictates that the Thought in the situation takes precedence over any actual eventuality. For our part on the celebratory occasion, we hold that truth to be self evident. … You see, despite what we must say in polite public, not all men were really created equal. Nor were the women. Have you ever seen Jana Jordan entertain a pretty woman? [STAR TAGS: Jana Jordan Video, Brea Lynn Video]

Jana Jordan & Brea Lynn
4/20/14

Everyone should be a fan of festive occasions that involve the giving of candy. Some festive occasions, of course, have other “meanings” as we understand it, but honestly they pretty much have us with candy. Naturally we put a risqué twist on “Some Bunny to Love” as we celebrate, thinking most people won’t miss old hard-boiled eggs in the process. As an aside on that topic, we’ll offer up some advice on festive occasions in general: While green eggs and ham might looks basically scary when done, purple eggs and ham can add quite a celebratory flair. [STAR TAGS: Alexis Amore, Jenaveve Jolie]

Jenaveve Joli & Alexis Amore
4/18/14

Today would be a Fine Friday to talk about Intimate Exposures 4 we decided. It could not be a “Good Friday” to talk about it because one of our Fearful Leaders expressed fear of “being zotted” should we label it so. Most of us hold the opinion that actually shooting an adult movie on Good Friday has a much greater Zot-Potential than just talking about shooting a movie, but we could be wrong. Or it could just be that Episcopalians might be a strange bunch. [STAR TAGS: Niki Lee Young Exclusive Video, Sophia Jade Exclusive Video]

Sophia Jade
4/15/14

Traditionally we try to do something decidedly non-taxing on this day because … well, if you need the explanation, you really need to pay more attention in life. Fortunately the mind of Lorraine Sisco can provide an excellent diversion, and the support staff of Mika Tan, Daisy Marie, Alexis Love, and Jean Valjean helps a lot too. It takes a village sometimes, you know. For the record, we have a darned good-looking village. [STAR TAGS: Mika Tan Video, Daisy Marie Video, Alexis Love video, Lorraine Sisco]

Mika Tan
4/11/14

Giving everyone the 4-1-1 today seemed entirely appropriate, and since we try to be appropriate at least annually, we decided to get it out of the way for this year. After careful — dare we say nearly painstaking — examination of Monica Mayhem, Daisy Marie, and Keeani Lei we have decided that the women in adult entertainment hold a much greater significance than the men. Now how many professions outside the WNBA can you say that about? [STAR TAGS: Monica Mayhem, Daisy Marie, Keeani Lei]

Monica, Daisy, Keeani
4/9/14

Fact vs. Fiction. Porn Men vs. Other Men. … What it looks like taking a shower with Shayla — well, maybe if you were drunk and resting on the floor at the time. Whatever the case, you may think about any of these things today, as you ponder the global craze that might have been the HoPro. … [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Jessica Drake]

Shayla LaVeaux
4/6/14

Things can be confusing when you happen to be dealing with trying to combine sexual women on camera and concepts like “Best” in the same conversation. Fortunately for everyone, we alleviate all that befuddlement and just make it simple today. With Mia Malkova on tap (as it were) it all becomes perfectly clear. Or else you really won’t care and will be perfectly happy spending an hour or so in consideration of Mia on video and in stills. Either way, we’re cool. [STAR TAGS: Mia Malkova Video, Kimmy Haze, 247AdultStars.com]

Mia Malkova
4/1/14

Iconic fictional detective Philip Marlowe once remarked, “I like smooth shiny girls, hardboiled and loaded with sin.” Our own Uncle Gibby happens to like Raymond Chandler, and considering the date, A Particular Foolish Fetish seemed like a fine way to honor Gibby for all his hard work of late. A little Anais fit the Marlowe bill nicely, and we might learn a little in the process. Winners all around. No foolin’ … [STAR TAGS: Anais Video, Wanda Curtis, Michael Ninn]

Anais & Kurt Mockwood, or Something Like That

March 2014 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

3/31/14

Your basic “cowgirl” doesn’t really wear a purple snakeskin hat and shiny pink pants. Of course you’d think that even your basic adult movie star should probably remember if she ever had anal sex on camera before. As it turns out, our basic risqué cowgirl happens to be Kristal Summers, and seeing as how the hat and pants happen to be the only things she ends up wearing for this layout, we didn’t actually get too wrapped up in genre accuracy. Go figure. As for the second theory here, well, according to Cytherea, some of those early years are still a little murky to the lass. We call that one Forgotten Butt, of Course. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers, Cytherea Video]

Kristal Summers
3/27/14

Odds seem good that we have all met one of those people that will proudly explain how little ego they have. There seem to be quite a lot of them, for whatever reason, and not one of them has ever learned the word “irony” or the Concept of Karma. If you have known one of these people for a long time, however, retrospect can tug on a few different emotions in us. People don’t simply stop being friends because they somehow jump from fame to infamy, but that can be difficult to explain to someone new to the environment. Take Marc Wallice and Jenna Jameson, for example. [STAR TAGS: Jenna Jameson Video, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Christi Lake Video]

Jenna Jameson & Marc Wallice
3/21/14

People into Numerology must think that 3/21/14 would be an excellent day to do something special. Look at it: There’s a hidden seven and all kinds of threes in there. That’s got to count for something, right? … OK. So technically none of us knows the first thing about numerology, but we do recognize the heat in (and on) Alexis Texas having sex, and seriously, that probably gets more attention than numbers anyway. [STAR TAGS: Alexis Texas Exclusive Video]

Ms. Texas, Probably Considering Numerology
3/17/14

According to Rich Gannon on NFL Radio — the acknowledged expert on everything, of course — people will consume 13 million pints of Guinness on this St. Patrick’s Day. Factoring in our contribution, that means the rest of the world needs to be responsible for somewhere in the vicinity of 12,999,991 pints today. Now we don’t know where all of that will come from, but we have an excellent idea about where 155 beautiful braless “Erins” will come from. [STAR TAGS: Erins Go Braless! Kylie Ireland St. Patrick’s Day Audio]

Kylie Ireland
3/15/14

Supposedly the middle of March happens to be a big threat because we should theoretically fear a dreamer? … Obviously things have changed between Shakespeare and Alexis Texas — Social Media being one of the foremost among them, it appears. Or would that be amongst them? It’s all very confusing. We should stick to naked women. Otherwise we thinks we doth protest too much. [STAR TAGS: Alexis Texas, Syren Sexton Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

 

Alexis Texas All Atwitter About Something
3/11/14

One of the greatest things about college has to be that about this time every year, the mind starts turning to wonderful, sun-drenched, thoughts about Spring Break. Of course one of the greatest things about being out of college would be that you can take a break any time you want. Granted, you pretty much have to live off the grid, or have really rich relatives, a state that sadly does not define anyone we know. Still, we do get to work with Kristal Summers and Cytherea regularly, so as jobs go, we don’t really complain about this one very much. We will on occasion wonder, however: Where’s a good trust fund when you need one? [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers, Cytherea Video, Lauren Phoenix Video, Scarlet Red, Romance]

 

Ahoy, Matey!
3/5/14

Since yesterday everyone celebrated “Fat Tuesday” would it not make sense that we should call today “Skinny Wednesday” from now on? It sure sounds a lot more pleasant than Ash Wednesday, for example. Also, it makes a lot more sense to Get the Skinny on Dee & Anais Breaking Glad than it does to think about them all covered with ashes. Eeew. [STAR TAGS: Dee Exclusive Video, Anais Exclusive Video]

Dee
3/2/14

Consider us one big ol’ happy group of sexual philanthropists. Granted, it would seem pretty silly to imagine a big ol’ unhappy group of sexual philanthropists, so you might as well just go with the easy one. As a rule, we like that approach in life — and not just when it applies to our women. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video]

Shayla LaVeaux Feeling Sexually Philanthropic

Aural Cytherea Exercises

Turn On … The Radio by D.Minion It was the end of a fun but tiring week in Las Vegas. Cytherea had been posing for photos and videos for days in the Risqué Hotel Suite, while the Risqué gang captured every nuance and every squirt on camera! [And occasionally on pants, t-shirts, glasses, that sort […]
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