Filed Under: Cytherea

May 2011 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

5/30/11	A great many things in life turn out to be memorable, and today (at least in America) we celebrate some of the most daring sacrifices in our history. We don’t as a rule wish misfortune, however severe, on any person, but the attack on our little benevolent site yesterday morning did manage to peeve us for a couple of hours. You may have noticed the “hacked” warnings if you tried to log on early in the day, which at least means the security settings are acting as programmed. It basically locks everything down so we can find the vermin and exterminate them, but that’s handy too. Having determined the cause of the problem, we will give them this bit of advice, should they be reading risque still: You should move. We know where you live. … On a much happier note, Shayla’s around once again and has helped us take our minds off of people that have nothing better to do than wreak random acts of digital violence. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux]
5/27/11	Have you ever run across the perfect word, long forgotten in the recesses of your brain, and then found yourself using it all the time over the course of a day? Well that happened to us today, which wouldn’t be that odd except the word happens to be “sycophant” – which really shouldn’t apply all that often one would think. On the other hand we admittedly lead weird lives around here, and we do tend to rather appreciate the efforts of a clever sycophant, so there you go. Maverick also puts forth some effort to pun the last name of Tanya Cox, but compared to the $10 word effort, that just seemed rather simplistic. Regardless of literary merit, however, we’re thinking you will probably like the Tanya video on 247AdultStars.com better anyway. You just can’t reason with some people. [FEATURED TAGS: Tanya Cox Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
5/26/11	So who even knew the wind could blow 200 mph on dry land? Presumably some people alive enough to pay attention to tornados back in 1974 might remember, but none of us around here falls into that category. (Well, Gibby and Steve might, but we didn’t ask them out of politeness.) Still, they call it “Mother Nature” for a reason, and we all remember a few times in our lives when mama just felt a need to make her presence more keenly felt – at least before a “time out” became a presumably reasonable method of punishment. In a rather more pleasant vein today, though, we give you Brea Bennett, playing her own version of a woman requiring attention. Interestingly enough, this lesson doesn’t suck at all. [FEATURED TAGS: Brea Bennett Video, Jayme Langford Video, Michael Ninn]
5/22/11	Don’t you just hate it when you feel like a complete idiot? All this time we’ve been worried about the NFL Labor Dispute (with capital letters, don’t you know), and the whole time we could have been watching the new Lingerie Football League. OK. So the web site(s) are designed poorly, featuring a user interface baffling to even those of us that do this for a living. Worse, every time you land on a page, when it finally loads, a process that takes way too long (because of poor implementation to go along with the poor design), it will start making horribly loud sounds without you doing a thing. This has been the benchmark for “amateur” for at least the last ten years in web development, by the way. And don’t even get us started on the use of all caps in the meta tags. … Despite all that, though, the League features women playing tackle football in amazingly skimpy outfits. Tom Brady can now just keep on suing whomever he wants for as long as he wants. We’re happy. … Oh! And you can hear about Shayla LaVeaux playing with herself today too. We forgot to mention. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Brittany Andrews]
5/19/11	You can probably think of a great many ways to apologize, without ever admitting any culpability, of course, because otherwise where’s the skill in that? In our particular case, however, we’ll have to admit it becomes a heck of a lot easier if you have a bunch of Anais footage tucked away. You may have considered as you’ve gone through life, that very beautiful people just don’t seem to live under the same set of rules as the rest of us. Now we’re not arguing with that assessment at all, but we will say that it’s darned handy to have a few of them as friends every once in awhile. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Anais Video, Michael Ninn]
5/17/11	Speaking of “Capri” (and D.Minion does that today) … but strange shortish pants don’t encompass the bigger issue here. We need to set the stage a bit … So if you decide to hire a new secretary, and you decide to hire Cytherea for the job. And then if she decides to have sex in the office, you really should think about covering your computers in plastic or something. And if she decides to make that sex a 3-way, and you’re not invited to be one of the three, well, you should probably still get the plastic anyway – and maybe one of those shop vacuums that sucks up liquids too. That would be handy. And finally, you probably never, ever, want Cytherea and D.Minion to roam around the office when you’re not there. Hypothetically … [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Lylith LaVey]
5/13/11	Many, many types of smiles can play across a woman’s face, and if men spent more time looking at that part of the female anatomy, we might actually learn to recognize them. … That said, trying to understand women, and Friday the Thirteenth at the same time really seems like too much scariness at one time. Y’all (well, all the Members) can consider Office Darling Capri Anderson her beatific smiles. … Fun word, beatific … (Maybe the world needs more Tifics. You think?). [FEATURED TAGS: Capri Anderson Exclusive Video, Bree Olsen]
5/9/11	For some odd reason, the post for May 1^st didn’t seem to go up until after the post for May 5^th – and both of them apparently added a day to their intended debuts. While this sort of messes up the whole Cinco de Mayo celebration thing, it does in retrospect demonstrate a May Day! May Day! concept that we pretty much live by all year long. … If you haven’t visited in the last few days it shouldn’t matter, but if have stopped by already this past weekend, you might pop on back to May 2^nd (now) and be sure you’re caught up. Actually once you read that particular entry, you can probably guess what happened too. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Raquel Devine]
5/6/11	Alfred Hitchcock once said, “There is nothing quite so good as burial at sea. It is simple, tidy, and not very incriminating.” … Given the events of this past week, that seems an oddly prescient view, don’t you think? … Fortunately for those of us not completely fixated on military spending all the time, we have a rather more enjoyable reason to use a couple of different Alfred Hitchcock quotes as D.Minion finishes up her on-the-set piece for Erica McLean’s Flying Pink Pig. If you think about it, this too can tie into more mainstream current events, as we can all be sure that this will be exactly when the government tells us the complete story about anything – when pigs fly. (All things considered, that’s probably a good thing, however.) [FEATURED TAGS: Sunny Lane, Nicki Hunter, Emy Reyes, Tessa Taylor, Megan Foxx, Exclusive Video, Erica McLean]
5/2/11	If you happen to be a male, and you happen to have ever been stuck in a store while a woman tried on a bunch of clothes, then you have a keen understanding of how difficult it can be to look absolutely nowhere at all, yet still keep your eyes open. On the other hand, if instead you happen to be at a shoot with a porn star while she tries on a bunch of different clothes, well, the experience differs dramatically. Basically, you just don’t feel like closing your eyes even for a moment. If all department stores employed porn stars, it would bring a whole level of enjoyment to that boring shopping exercise. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Kristal Summers Video]

April 2011 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

4/30/11	So apparently they had this big wedding yesterday, and insane people over here stayed up until all hours of the morning just to watch it on TV? Well, we can’t say that this makes any sense to us California folks, but then we’ve heard the same thing said about us from other parts of the country. Did you ever embrace a reflective moment and think about just how you ended up where you did in your life? Presumably people in prison do this with some regularity, but fortunately today we’re not talking about weddings or incarceration – either of these sad situations. Today we sit down with Shayla and consider the “Origins of Porn Woman” and be honestly thrilled that the entire world doesn’t watch everything we do. Seriously. That sounds icky, right? [FEATURED TAGS: Alexis DeVell, AEE 2011, Shayla LaVeaux, Julia Ann, Cheyenne Silver, Inari Vachs, Tori Black, Tanya Tate, Phoenix Marie, Bobbi Starr, Andy San Dimas, Jesse Jane, Shy Love, Selena Rose, Natasha Nice, Kayden Kross, Jessica Drake, Riley Steele, Dana DeArmond, Bree Olsen, Prinzzess, Lupe Fuentes, Joanna Angel, Anna Lovato, Jynx Maze, Kristen Rose, Lexi Belle, Breanne Benson, Nina Hartley, Monique Alexander, Stoya, Andy San Dimas, Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
4/28/11	You know what colloquialisms are we assume? OK. So most of us have at least heard the word, and we probably have some vague idea of the meaning, although that may or may not be true. After all, it’s not like you have occasion to throw that particular English language tidbit into a conversation every day. And if you have one thing, like a colloquialism, for example, don’t sound principles of physics dictate that its direct opposite be possible too? So what’s the opposite of a colloquialism? … If you’re confused, you’ve now perfectly prepared yourself to match our condition today, so all you Members can now feel free to enter. On the upside, we do have Renee Perez playing in the shower this time around, and basically that’s not very confusing at all. [FEATURED TAGS: Renee Perez Video, Michael Ninn]
4/22/11	There are many, many ways to say Happy Birthday across the globe, yet all of them mean, “Gosh, you’re even older than you were yesterday.” As our friends get older, we have noticed a tendency to buy them gifts that we hope to get back in inheritance, though, but that’s OK, right? We should be practical after all. Also, we’re going to stop writing now so that El Jefe doesn’t have enough clues to figure out which of us wrote this introduction. Practical … [FEATURED TAGS: Tanya Cox, “The Snatch Game” ]
4/21/11	Just in case you’re ever curious, you should know that the only people that ever win in a lawsuit are the lawyers. Legal fights beat you up financially, emotionally, and depending upon how long they drag on, even spiritually. They’re not fun. Sadly, however, they are sometimes necessary. As we understand it, you’ve got to stand for something or you’ll fall for anything. All in all, the only thing you really learn from lawsuits boils down to an addition to your list of people with whom you never want to have to see ever again in your life. Sometimes the lawyers don’t end up being first on that list, but they always make the list for sure. Even for attorneys, though, all good things must come to an end, and eventually even the most acrimonious of disputes reaches some form of resolution. Today would be such a day. … Whew. [FEATURED TAGS: Vicca, Nikita, Juli Ashton, Felecia, Anna Malle, Asia Carrera, Ron Jeremy, Ninn Video, Michael Ninn]
4/18/19	Most of us would agree that only a few things in life can annoy us as much as paying taxes. We all see the need for them in the abstract, and quite honestly see the value in government services and the philanthropic concepts of helping those less fortunate than ourselves. When theory crashes into personal reality, however, you can almost hear a universal whining. If you don’t believe that just listen to the richest 10% of the people in the country bellow and start talking about the President’s citizenship every time he dares suggest they should probably try to contribute a little more to help the country get out of its economic mess – that he didn’t create, by the way, but let’s not get too bogged down in politics. … In that non-political spirit we’re dishing up our own risque brand of tax relief today. We’d be willing to bet that if you love it or hate it, you’re decision will have nothing whatsoever to with your party affiliation. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Lylith LaVey]
4/15/11	Does anyone else wonder why today doesn’t qualify as Tax Day, even though it’s a Friday and not a weekend? Nope. We didn’t either. We just said, “Whoopie! We get extra time this year!” … Of course none of us really need the extra time because we always do our taxes in January so we don’t even have to worry about it anymore. Yep. That’s our story, and we’re stickin’ to it. … You’ll find other words (and pictures) of wisdom in A Dawning today as well. What an excellent Friday. [FEATURED TAGS: Audrey Hollander, Heather Vuur, Heather Vandeven, Jassie, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Michael Ninn]
4/12/11	We would love to say that we spend hours and hours thinking up clever titles for our ever-so-insightful commentary on the risque commune sites, but that wouldn’t technically be true. Generally someone just pops off with something, the others laugh, and that’s what we go with. Sometimes, though, a couple of very good ideas get thrown into the mix, and then we have a debate, granted about the silliest of things. (That’s what Americans do, as any analysis of professional sports or politics will clearly illustrate.) Today we had “Sheen without Luster” as well as “Sheen and Lust Her” as options that we just couldn’t reach consensus on. D.Minion said she’d decide, since it was her story, after all. … Naturally D.Minion picked a third title. … It’s good to be Queen. We’re not so sure about being a Goddess, however. [FEATURED TAGS: Capri Anderson, Bree Olsen Video]
4/6/11	Back before he started making sausage, Jimmy Dean recorded a song with a chorus that began, “I won’t go huntin’ with you, Jake, but I’ll go chasin’ women.” Most of you will probably be glad to hear that this does not happen to be the song in which you can find Shayla naked in the music video. That said, as between early 1950’s country music – Ice T’s “Body Count” – and sausage, we can’t honestly say which we’d like to see made less. Shayla dancing naked is always good, however. [FEATURED TAGS: Justine Joli]
4/3/11	Last night we learned the Butler did it, if UConn believe that. … And if you don’t follow college basketball, or if you happen to be reading this years from now, that will make no sense at all. Fortunately, sexy women do tend toward the timeless and universally understood, so don’t worry yourself too much about the “strangest of the strange” around here. Both Shayla LaVeaux and Cheyenne Silver give reports today on the most recent AEE, and 247AdultStars chimes in with “visitors” Lon and D.Minion as well. All it all it’s very confusing. So go slowly and remember to breathe. Ice cream might help too. … And for all you authors that hurried your reports in because we were going to publish this a couple of days ago … um … April Fool’s. (Hey we couldn’t have used the amazingly clever and hysterical Butler/UConn comment on April 1st. See? Things tend to work out.) [FEATURED TAGS: AEE 2011, Shayla LaVeaux, Cheyenne Silver, Cytherea, Katsuni, Prinzzess, Alektra Blue, Syren, Exclusive Video]

March 2011 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

3/30/11	Today turns out to be a wealth of information. We’ve got visits to porn sets, secret hints regarding major industry players, anal sex insights, bootleg video, puns, alliteration, personal life retrospective on famous porn directors, a new camera … oh, and Bobbi Starr and Cheyenne Silver naked. When you’ve got all that going for you, it would probably be smart to just get to the point. For once, we’ll take our own advice. [FEATURED TAGS: Cheyenne Silver, Bobbi Starr Exclusive Video]
3/27/11	Supposedly we should always associate more importance with the journey rather than the destination. Understanding that, however, when you happen to be travelling to Cytherea’s house, “the journey” has a tough task ahead of itself if it presumes to actually secure its level of preeminent significance. While we can’t honestly say that the Honorable Journey turned out to be “better” than hanging out with Cy, it did completely entertain all the Geeks in the car. Of course we happen to proponents of the theory that basically anything having to do with Cytherea will be a lot of fun. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Sandie Caine Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
3/23/11	As it turned out, today seems a rather odd day to be “Flying Under the Radar” as was our plan. We lost a Hollywood legend this morning, and odd as it seems we’ve often used Elizabeth Taylor as an example to risque clients that there certainly exists a way to be both sexy and classy. (Then we usually follow that comment by noting that you really don’t have to get married eight times just to enjoy sex with different people, but that’s sort of off-topic right now.) We’re sorry she’s gone around here, but she can still serve as a fine example of pure, strong, womanhood for some years to come we expect. Perhaps she even added to her aura in her later years. One thing about Ms. Taylor, she certainly did not go gentle into that good night. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video, Sunny Lane Video, Nicki Hunter Video, Emy Reyes, Megan Foxx Video, Tessa Taylor Video, Sasha Heart Video, Nick Manning Video, Ron Jeremy Video, Erica McLean Video]
3/20/11	Over the years we have admittedly made some fairly dubious “musical” references on this site. This time, however, we’ve stooped to George Michael (if you can forgive us that). Regardless of the quality of the music (or arguably a distinct lack thereof), sometimes a title just fits a risque situation too perfectly to ignore. What can we say? You Gotta Have Faith … [FEATURED TAGS: Faith Leon Video, Daisy Layne, Michael Ninn]
3/17/11	We cherish America’s position in the world as the staunch symbol of Freedom, belief in the rights of every person to speak without fear of reprisal, and the fount of the wellspring of hope that diligent effort, combined with a strong moral compass, can result in a position in life practically unavailable other places on the planet. We relish our Melting Pot status, secure in our confidence that the very diversity of citizenry that many fear could tear apart the very fabric of society in fact bonds us all to a common goal of an improved life in aggregate. And on those occasions such as today, we give humble regard and open reverence, not only for St. Patrick and all he accomplished and still stands for in Irish lore, but also for his position in history as an excuse to create green beer. Suitably for us, it seems then, we warmly offer you Erin Go Braless. … We’re like that. [FEATURED TAGS: Julia Ann, Jana Jordan, Sunny Lane, Karlie Montana, Nevaeh, Angie Savage, Capri Anderson]
3/15/11	Unlike Mr. Ceasar, we have no need to beware the Ides of March. In fact, we sort of go “WHEE!” … as in AngIE, KarlIE, and MarlIE – although Ms. Savage, Ms. Montana, and Ms. Moore don’t happen to spell their names that way. In addition we endeavor mightily (the best way to endeavor, truth be told) to maintain a promised confidence. If you “C” anything otherwise, well, oops. We can’t be blamed, you know: Because “I” and “E” always come before “C” – right? We are all a wratchild at heart. [FEATURED TAGS: Marlie Moore Video, Karlie Montana Video, Angie Savage Video, Micheal Ninn]
3/12/11	Most of you probably haven’t spent much time looking at web traffic statistics, because, let’s face it: Why in the world would you want to do something as horribly geeky as that? Well, some of us around here actually enjoy that sort of thing, and sometimes we’ll notice just the oddest trends. Over the last couple of weeks, for example, we’ve been getting a lot of searches for Heather Vuur. (She was Vandeven. Then she was Vuur. Then she went back to Vandeven again. People and their names in this business … .) Now we wouldn’t consider it “odd” because people are interested in Heather, because that makes perfect sense to us, but considering what we may be able to talk about soon, today’s story of D.Minion’s first foray “Oh, Vuur” the hills to visit with Heather seemed to make a lot of sense, so we decided to sort of throw it in out of order here. You’ll find it much easier to browse through the 150 or so photos of Heather with our new system, and you might begin to give some thought to what we “may” be able to talk about soon. Honestly, that’s a lot more interesting than thinking about web stats. [FEATURED TAGS: Heather Vuur, Heather Vandeven, Michael Ninn]
3/11/11	Nary as mystical a thing exists for a typical male as a “Girls Night Out” – well, except a “Girls Night In” probably. When new risque compatriots Shayla LaVeaux, Cytherea, and Cheyenne Silver bond together one late night in Las Vegas, you can imagine what delicious decadence could transpire. Don’t get overly excited here, though. Nothing like that happened. Actually we didn’t see evidence of any lingerie at all, and not even one pillow fight. We really have to have a talk with these ladies. On the other hand, maybe porn stars are regular people too. They just don’t have the same shy gene as the rest of us. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video, Cytherea, Cheyenne Silver, Juli Ashton Video, Dee Video, Keri Windsor Video]
3/7/11	The Message Board over on the Members’ Side has been going gangbusters, which seems a little counter-intuitive if you think about it, actually. People have been getting quite excited about our upcoming visit to Las Vegas to record the ever-nubile Cytherea this week. Local fans have deluged us with a myriad of suggestions regarding potential locations for the shoot, which, considering it does happen to be Cytherea we’re talking about, seems quite logical in the scheme. Oddly, almost all of those ideas involve having Cytherea “visit” at the homes of the local fans. We figure they must all be very hopeful as regards the growing success of CythereasWetWorld.com. Yeah, that’s gotta be it. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Capri Anderson]
3/5/11	Assuming you’re not consumed with Sirius radio’s 24-hour marathon station they’ve called “Tigerblood” today, you might have time to consider that Estiercol de Caballo Solamente means Horse Manure Only in Spanish. Not that we attempt to editorially equate those two things, of course, but the phrase does come into play with the first day on the set of The Flying Pink Pig, courtesy of D.Minion. Honestly, she has an actual photo included – of the phrase, not the organic substance. Long-time members will recall what being on set with D.Minion can mean, and we’ll warn you that she had Shayla LaVeaux, Sunny Lane, Nicki Hunter, and Erica McLean to play with on this day, not to mention a menagerie of dogs and horses. You’ll need a nice frosty beverage to make it through this one. Come to think of it, you’ll probably need two. Maybe three. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Sunny Lane Exclusive Video, Nicki Hunter, Nick Manning Exclusive Video, Erica McLean]
3/1/11	Historically, even those of us without “Tiger Blood and Adonis DNA” seem to have managed our lives just fine. (That’s a reference to the chaos that has become Charlie Sheen which – hopefully – will have dropped from public consciousness at some point, so we thought we’d explain it.) Very smart people, in fact, have learned that spending quality time with the Risqué Commune can bring a little happiness to our lives, regardless of the state of our hemoglobin neighborhood. And while you enjoy the latest playtime from our own resident “Rock Stars from Mars” Shayla LaVeaux and Cytherea, you can take solace in a core ambition in life: If you can’t be a good example, at least try to be a horrible warning. Live a little. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Juli Ashton, Keri Windsor, Dee, Cytherea Exclusive Video]

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