Filed Under: Carli Banks

February 2014 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

2/28/14	Our Head Writer ends her trilogy we call “Oui the People at AEE 2014” today, although for now she has resisted a growing movement suggesting she change her name from “D.Minion” to “B.Moaning” after reading her assessment of the younger adults targeting in the annual AVN convention. Fittingly we conclude with one of those Could be Hall of Fame performers, risqué favorite Tori Black. Tori may have been underrepresented at this year’s show, but she sure makes all of us want to buy a house with a pool. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Kylie Ireland, Tori Black Video]
2/24/14	Well, the Winter Olympics have now concluded leaving behind a few ecstatic individuals and the entire U.S. Figure Skating and Men’s Hockey teams wondering what the heck just happened. Bronco fans know how they feel, and being the helpful sort, a few of them put together a consideration of this year’s Best New Starlet contenders, most of whom also know exactly how many of us feel right now. They look a heck of a lot better feeling that way than we do, though. [STAR TAGS: AEE 2014, Melody Jordan, Jodi Taylor, Raven Rockette, Casey Calvert, AJ Applegate, Cindy Starfall, Kennedy Leigh, Rikki Six, Jessa Rhodes, Lacy Rose Video]
2/21/14	For a moment there we began to wonder if the leaders of the U.S. Olympic Women’s Hockey Team had been replaced by members of the Denver Broncos coaching staff. Then we realized that the women actually kept the championship game very close, so that couldn’t have been the problem. We will say that as Part II of D.Minion’s Convention Überview, though, we make it pretty easy to forget all about the Bronco coaches. Video featuring Celeste Star, Charlie Lain, Carli Banks, and Nevaeh make that quite possible. Throw in a little “Countrified Shayla LaVeaux” and you’ll be hyperventilating for an entirely different reason than silly old football players. [STAR TAGS: AVN Awards 2014, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Shy Love, Celeste Star Video, Charlie Lain Video, Nevaeh Video, Carli Banks Video]
2/19/14	You can spend your time considering various arguments on the merits of the Winter Olympics today. Or you can spend your time thanking Kirk for this impromptu Kristal Summers coverage — or more accurately uncoverage, technically. Of course that may not even be a real word, but you honestly won’t care in just a little bit. Call it a hunch. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers Video]
2/17/14	An old adage can be very helpful. If it does not exactly help you understand a situation more clearly, at least it gives you a quick way to hide your ignorance of accurate details. Sometimes, however, they just don’t seem to apply — Age before beauty, for example. … What if you have both? What if you have always had both? Fortunately on Dee’s birthday we avoid odd questions like this and simply celebrate her. Simple is good, and Dee is excellent! [STAR TAGS: Dee Video, Adaja Video]
2/14/14	Top vote-getters amongst the staff for most romantic song to play for a loved one today tied between Wind Beneath My Wings and I Will Always Love You, although we did have someone choose AC/DC’s You Shook Me All Night Long, so there’s that. At least this goes to show that we maintain our unique way of looking at things, a stance evidenced by the first of D.Minion’s AEE reports. She calls the three-part series Gestalt Vault this time around, mostly because she did not find “Cryptic Triptych” nearly as funny as some of us did. Hey, we like Dolly Parton songs; clearly we can’t be trusted as any sort of barometer of normalcy. [STAR TAGS: AEE 2014, Shayla LaVeaux, Kristal Summers, Christy Canyon, Monique Alexander Video, Jessica Drake, Sunny Lane, Celeste Star, Tori Black, Charmane Star, Chantelle Fox Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
2/10/14	Apparently some people take figure skating very seriously. So when you offer an innocent commentary on the current Olympic team, some people can get quite irritated, and claim we’re being mean. … Hey, it’s not our fault that one of them looks like she took her makeup clues from Tim Curry’s character in The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and another one bears an eery resemblance to the human version of a hammerhead shark. They’re probably both kind, loving, wonderful people. But facts are facts, just like the hundredth of a second that can mean the difference between being remembered in the history books and being remembered only at your mom’s house. All in all, we decided Tiffany Mynx has a lot going for her, and she’s not in the least bit controversial. We will likely remember her for a very long time. [STAR TAGS: Kylie Ireland Video, Tiffany Mynx Video]
2/6/14	Home, Home on the Range would be a lot more interesting if everyone could take Madison Chandler along for the ride. Covered Wagon. Mercedes. Whatever … Some people just make the journey a lot more enjoyable. When D.Minion talks about it, naturally, it can get a little weird, to go along with the enjoyable part, but who wants a boring path anyway? Besides who can avoid laughing with a belle from North Carolina tries to communicate with a chap from England? Giddyup! [STAR TAGS: Madison Chandler Exclusive Video, Nikki Lee Young]
2/3/14	You ever have one of those weekends where you simply cannot remember a darned thing? Well, we have decided to classify this past one in just such a fashion. That’s our story, and we’re stickin’ to it. We do have Shayla coming out of — or technically going into — the closet to help distract us, though. Some things you just don’t want to remember. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]

December 2011 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

12/31/11	As near as we can tell, today happens to be New Year’s eve, and most places around the world happen to celebrate the new year with substantially more vigor and glee than they do any of those gift-giving holidays. Of course the vast majority of the world has at least a culture, but often an entire political system, that stems in no small degree from religious persecution, so maybe that makes sense. After all, it seems very wise to focus more on a day of the year you won’t get shot for celebrating, right? For our part, we have decided to stick to our roots as well. What they lack in historic violence and upheaval, they more than make up for in fun and nudity. This doesn’t set the bar very high, we understand, but as a rule we tend to prefer simple goals. (You members may have noticed.) And if D.Minion happens to discover our camouflaged secret, well, we plan on employing the exact same New Year’s Resolution we enjoy every year: Blame Maverick for everything. [FEATURED TAGS: Georgia Adair Video]
12/27/11	People do sometimes contribute to their own “Birthday Party” as Shayla has decided to do so today. True to at least our form, she chose to celebrate “Holliday” over the Holidays, and offers up some insights as to what it’s like being in the middle of 30 or 40 women all having sex together. Sadly, none of us here can really comment on this experience first-hand, but we do have a great many folks willing to learn. We value education, after all. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video, Kylie Ireland Video, Serenity Video, Juli Ashton Video, Nina Hartley Video, Shawna Lenee]
12/25/11	So did you sleep with thoughts of Sugar-Plums dancing through your head? Have you ever done that in your whole life? Would you even know a Sugar-Plum if it jumped out of the closet and bit you? And when is the last time you heard anyone exclaim, “My! What a clatter!” anyway? The fact that people around here spend time pondering such weighty issues serves as the only excuse I can think of for this Merry Christmas … um … Members’ Card. I worry about us sometimes. I really do. [FEATURED TAGS: Merry Christmas!]
12/24/11	You may not find it intuitive, but the adult movie industry happens to display a great deal of holiday cheer among its members. Of course you can’t really have a properly caroling environment without Ebenezer Scrooge, and thus we speak today with sincere affection for our friend Gregory Dark. True, we have chosen to do so with the able assistance of Juli Ashton, Kelly O’Dell, Felecia, and Serenity, but in our defense we claimed to be festive — not foolish. Why listen to some old fat guy that’s not planning on dropping down any chimneys tonight when you fill your silent nights with young ladies clearly coming about midnight? … There are way too many seasonal songs to consider. We’d best stop now. [FEATURED TAGS: Juli Ashton Video, Kelly O’Dell Video, Felecia Video, Serenity Video]
12/21/11	This is the time of year where we all get a little nostalgic; we all feel a little more optimistic, a little more peaceful. Benevolent tendencies, long hidden throughout the year, come closer to the surface, and we allow ourselves to pause a few more times during the day, just to feel a part of Mother Earth. … Or if you happen to be like us, you praise Rednecks everywhere, and wonder why everyone doesn’t celebrate the way we do. You forgive them, however, because let’s face it: If you go around saying everything you really think, no one is ever going to give you a gift — at least not one you’ll want to receive. [FEATURED TAGS: Anais, Georgia Adair, Angel Cassidy, Wanda Curtis, Michael Ninn, Bree Olsen Video, Sunny Leone Video]
12/19/11	We all know ‘Tis the Season of Giving, but let’s be honest, it’s pretty fun to get new things too. And with any luck they won’t be the sorts of things that will live in a closet until next year when we can give them again. In a typically benevolent re-gifting game, then, we have decided to offer up some holiday gift suggestions before we shuttle everyone off to enjoy Cytherea playing fauna amongst the flora. D.Minion “naturally” adds her special touch, although DM can be a lot like a gift from a distant relative: You honestly appreciate it, but you’re just not quite sure how to explain it to anyone. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video]
12/15/11	Rarely do we link directly to 247AdultStars.com — preferring rather to heighten anticipation, sweeten the experience, and generally make it more pleasantly pithy. … It’s either that or we pretty much like any excuse to show off more naked women. Theories may vary. All of this goes by the wayside this season, however, as Dear Maverick, being from London and thus used to a depressing Christmas season until the very last minute, has seen fit to visit a few ghosts on a couple of Brit Porn Stars and convince them to film a special holiday greeting for the members. You know what? … God Bless Us, Every One … [FEATURED TAGS: Anna Joy Exclusive Video, Tanya Cox Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
12/10/11	Contrary to D.Minion’s contention in the office, after making egg nog, they do not in fact use the rest of the animal to create Naugahyde seat covers. We try to be helpful with our insights here, just so no one gets confused as they go through life. You might consider, then, taking D.Minion’s view of Day Two of Ninn Worx’ House of Jordan shoot with a grain of salt — if not an entire spice rack. None of this detracts, however, from the 241 stellar photographs. … And how do we know these to be stellar photographs? Why all these women are stars, of course. [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Jordan, Alexis Love, Tiffany Sweet, Carli Banks, Michael Ninn]
12/7/11	You know those kind of “entertainment” things where folks get really sort of devious and sneak in little bits and pieces that presumably will teach us something? Sure, they couch it all in some general “Oh, my goodness, but this is a lot of fun!” sort of way, but it always sort of sounds like Tom Sawyer and that fence painting job? … You will be happy to know that for our part we are simply celebrating Chasey Lain’s birthday today, and if anyone learns anything, well, dang that ain’t our fault. How can porno be educational anyway? [FEATURED TAGS: Chasey Lain, Alexis DeVell, Shayla LaVeaux, Kaylan Nicole, Jewel, Emma Nixon]
12/4/11	We’ve heard a horrible rumor that some places out there have to deal with this bizarre phenomenon called “snow” — which basically sounds like a euphemism for “frozen water that can make life hell” if you want to know the truth. Having seen pictures of it on the news, we can tell you: It looks icky. We did want you to know, however, that we do have how own version of Snow out here, though, although admittedly ours happens to be of the “Aurora Snow” variety. … So you know what we call our Northern Lights? … Yep! … Aurora Areolas. (Sorry. We blame the cold — wherever it may be.) [FEATURED TAGS: Aurora Snow, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Phoenix Ray, Jessica Drake]
12/1/11	Anyone can do an interview, but very, very few people can do a “Ninnterview” as you’ll see easily. Also, anyone can crash a wedding, but only Cytherea can do it … well … like Cytherea does. And if these two quick introductions don’t make you want to see what’s on tap for today, then perhaps you should make an appointment with your family physician. You don’t feel well. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Brea Bennett Video, Jana Jordan Video, Renee Perez Video, Cassidey Video, Nikki Kane Video, Jennifer Dark, Alexis Love, Michael Ninn]

October 2007 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

10/28/07	We learn about money and naked British women today. Or maybe we just read about the process of Maverick coordinating a photo shoot for naked women utilizing almost no money. … Or (and this would be the more likely option, truth be told) we just look at a bunch of naked pictures of Kaz B and Masie and we pretty much ignore everything else. Hey, the NFL’s broadcasting in HD again today. For our part we have learned the occasional value of brevity. [FEATURED TAGS: Masie, Kaz B., Maverick]
10/25/07	Relationships are tricky animals. And relationships in the porn industry can be downright treacherous. Of course that doesn’t keep them from happening, and thus nothing keeps us from talking about them. Of course none of this technically has a great deal to do with Inari Vachs creating some “Pier Pressure” of her own, but we do find a way to work in Winkin’, Blinkin’, and Odd. Sometimes we worry about ourselves. We really do. [FEATURED TAGS: Inari Vachs]
10/20/07	Well this might be another “how” issue, but of a much simpler variety as Dee offers up one of her very early Cam Shows for replay. Of course we also give a brief look at another of her KSEX exploits, this time with Kiki Daire of the “Triple-D” fame. Sometimes just appreciating the how can look very nice indeed. [FEATURED TAGS: Dee, Kiki Daire, D.Minion]
10/16/07	In an unusual twist, even for us, we offer up an examination of The How as much as The What this time around. Now we still let you in on the inside scoop on the latest big movie shoot we attended, and we provide impetus for soulful ruminations on life in a Microsoft World. We actually open with a brief reality check as we’re poised on the regular American Political Proving Ground, and eventually we even transition into some heretofore not publicly known intrigue involving Juli Ashton’s Night Calls, her original cohort, Doria Rone, and Playboy TV’s foray into the “Let’s Make a Movie About Our Series” business. Not to give too much away, and we’ll tell you right up front that we haven’t honestly seen the necessary sales or income reports required to be absolutely sure, but we’re thinking that The Simpsons Movie probably made more money. Clearly there’s no accounting for taste. … Of course we pretty much rely on that around here. [FEATURED TAGS: Night Calls, Juli Ashton, Doria, Vicca, Nikita, Emma, Chrissy, Risque News Insight]
10/11/07	As you read the varied historical perspective we’ve provided as accompaniment for a title called a capella, you’ll probably pick up on the irony. By definition, obviously, these items are meant to stand alone (or in this case usually lie alone). Come to think of it, if you “lie” alone to have sex, do you more correctly, then, lay alone? Things can get very confusing fairly quickly around here, but if you just concentrate on Jana Jordan, Heather Vuur, Rita Faltoyano, Carli Banks, Marie Luv, Daisy Marie, Holly Wellin, Ginger Lea, Andie Valentino, Marlie Moore, Lena Nicole, Alana Langford, Alexis Love, Tiffany Sweet, Jenaveve Jolie, Kaiya Lynn, Mika Tan, Nikki Benz, and Renee Perez it will help. It may not technically clarify much, but it does serve as a dandy distraction. [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Jordan, Heather Vuur, Heather Vandeven Rita Faltoyano, Carli Banks, Marie Luv, Daisy Marie, Holly Wellin, Ginger Lea, Andie Valentino, Marlie Moore, Lena Nicole, Alana Langford, Alexis Love, Tiffany Sweet, Jenaveve Jolie, Kaiya Lynn, Mika Tan, Nikki Benz, Renee Perez, Exclusive Video, Michael Ninn] a fine way to consider the musical interludes more completely
10/9/07	We’ve done it to ourselves again. We don’t really have that many people working around here and everyone seems to be in the middle of one of those “Mega-Posts” that take a lot of time and organization. Consequently, if we ever make it through the queue, we’re quite certain you’ll be fascinated and intrigued … or maybe just entertained. We can live with either. Until then, we’ve taken a moment to appreciate Dee’s breasts, which if you’ve ever wondered turns out to be a dandy way to motivate people in the workplace. Now we have to be honest and point out that it may not work for all of you in all of your work places, but if it does, feel free to share. Dee’s very friendly as a rule. [FEATURED TAGS: Dee, D.Minion]
10/5/07	Well, we’re not exactly sure what an “Old Wave Hooker” would be, except maybe Xaviera Hollander. And we certainly have no idea what a “Neu Wave Hooker” might be, presumably because we’re much to old. Still, we have a very good idea about a couple of “New Wave Hookers” and how artists like Gregory Dark and Michael Ninn interpret them. Hey, if you have to start a weekend, doing it with hookers is always a good idea. (Please don’t tell your mom we said that.) [FEATURED TAGS: Juli Ashton Video, Asia Carrera Video, Felecia Video, Vicca, Nikita, Stacy Valentine, Exclusive Video, Michael Ninn, Risque News Insight]
10/02/07	How about we go back to something a little more normal here? OK. So we don’t really have all that “normal” in the grand scheme of “normal” around here, but how about we go back to something that doesn’t involve fairly dubious fact checking? We can be absolutely certain of what happened when D.Minion was on Day Two of the Mamacitas 8 set, and we have over 150 pictures to prove it. That Dee, she’s a talented thing, ain’t she? [FEATURED TAGS: Dee, Alexis Silver, Lena Juliette, Nataly, D.Minion] Come to your Mamacita

July 2007 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

7/31/07	Sometimes you just need to look at something from a different perspective to recognize the obvious. Of course usually the new “angle” on everything also brings its own myriad of confusion, but if you try to boil it down to its essence, the situation often becomes more clear. Then you can add in a little scientific analysis and that might help, and you might even consider a dash of philosophy or even a metaphysical conceit or two if you’re really brave. Very soon everything will just look even more complicated than it was before started trying to look at it clearly and so you just wing it and hope for the best. That’s what we do. It may not work all of the time, but it makes for a nice way to go through life. [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Jordan, Lena Nicole, Renna Ryann, Sophia Lynn, Exclusive Video]
7/23/07	We’ve been working madly way behind the scenes here, and there’s a big announcement on the horizon. Oddly enough, it’s not nearly as distant a horizon as many we’ve foretold around here, so that’s nice. Maverick’s also chiming in today about what he’s going to be doing, which doesn’t help all that much, but he’s also got an exclusive “view” (and we mean that literally) of a famous British porn star named Sandie. Odd, but we still think of the Olivia Newton John character in Grease when we hear that name. … Hmm. We probably shouldn’t admit that, right? … Oh, and incidentally, we have no idea why Maverick takes pictures of upside down naked women, and we really didn’t want to ask. [FEATURED TAGS: Sandie Caine, Jana Jordan, Renee Perez, Lena Nicole, Alana Langford, Alexis Love, Tiffany Sweet, Carli Banks, Marlie Moore, Michael Ninn, Maverick]
7/16/07	What could be better than “Dee Penetrated” you may wonder. Well, apparently it could be Dee Exposed, because … well, you’ll have to read about it if you really care. Dee herself didn’t seem to mind whatever title we used, as she was just along for the ride … so to speak. Another thing that’s really, really good is a fresh bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich when the bacon is hot and thick-sliced, and the tomatoes are vine-ripened, but honestly we can only give you D.Minion’s account of our Delectable Dee today. You’ll have to make your own lunch. [FEATURED TAGS: Dee, Michael Ninn, D.Minion]
7/14/07	It could be that a little bit of thinking goes a long way when you’re talking about your basic porn site. Of course our goal has never been to BE “your basic porn site” so you would think that we could think – and you’d then think that our thinking made you think. Which might not be as helpful as you might have thought it was going to be, truth be told. We’d tell you what we think about this, but we’ve clearly done more than enough thinking to last us for quite some time. Don’t you think? [FEATURED TAGS: Vanessa Hill Video, Electra Angel Video, Linda Shane Video, Kenzie Ryan Video, Laura Capri Video, Michael Ninn, Exclusive Video]
7/11/07	Most of the time we choose to be a little more forthcoming out here on the free side, but every once in awhile it suits one to be a little more circuitous in our approach. That’s OK. If we tell you we have some “secret stuff” to talk about (and show off) today, and then we tell you what it is … well, it wouldn’t be a secret anymore, now would it? Sometimes the simple approach works best, which happens to be another lesson we hope to demonstrate. [FEATURED TAGS: Julia Ann, Juli Ashton Video, Michael Ninn, Exclusive Video, D.Minion]
7/7/07	Well, we made it through the post, but it was a weird one. Of course we can say that almost all of the time, so maybe that doesn’t mean much. Still, not all of the posts are about Erotica Los Angeles, 2007 so that’s one difference. And at first blush while all of these conventions seem pretty much the same (especially to those of us that have been to 50+ of them) they all have their own … um … uniqueness, let’s call it. Of course there seemed to be surprisingly little blushing on the show floor this year, well except from Lon and D.Minion while they were smothered on a bed by Julia Ann’s breasts right in the middle of the crowd on Saturday. Well, maybe you’ll have to read about it. Some things are too weird even for us to explain. [FEATURED TAGS: Erotica LA, Stormy Daniels, Jessica Drake, Julia Ann, Lon]
7/5/07	We’re putting on an “Innocent” front today, at least while we’re putting the final touches on the Lon/D.Minion story of Erotica LA this year. We haven’t heard from his doctors but last we saw Lon he was still gasping from rolling around on the bed with Julia Ann – which seems perfectly understandable if you think about it. So you can take a moment to ponder how this might have come about in the first place, and then you can try to figure out how these two words go together Innocence: Rebel. We figure it’s only in the world of Michael Ninn, but that’s always an OK place to be, so we’re just going to go with it. We’ve seen the pictures, though, and while “rebellious” might come to mind, we didn’t get many “innocent” vibes here. Naturally, of course, we consider this to be a very good thing. [FEATURED TAGS: Alana Langford, Presley Maddox, Lena Nicole, Amber Rayne, Denice K., Jennifer Dark, Michael Ninn]

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