Filed Under: Bree Olsen

June 2012 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

6/29/12

Maverick fills out his Festive Fridays in June on 247AdultStars today, but sadly he has run out of AEE reports. He filled in this week with the definitively delicious “Natalia” in a “Dreamy” solo sequence. We figured that would be just fine. You can also jump to Cytherea’s “Slut Sniffing” theory from here, in case you missed it over on CythereasWetWorld, just because we’re helpful like that. By the way, D.Minion wanted us to include the fact that Gutenberg first published his Bible in 1455 while we were putting together this New Stuff listing, but we just couldn’t figure out how to do that. So we decided not to. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Natalia Forrest Exclusive Video, Michelle Maylene, 247AdultStars.com]

MIchelle Maylene
6/27/12

It seems the U.S. Military pulled their “consultancy” support for Hollywood’s blockbuster film, The Avengers, because they had a problem with it being in their opinion “unrealistic.” Apparently the immortal guy with the magic hammer was no problem, nor did the fellow made out of rocks stretch credulity, but the “S.H.I.E.L.D.” group has no system in place for taking advantage of proper military channels or necessary respect for the chain of command. … Yeah, well, we’re not sure if Adam & Eve ever tried to enlist the assistance of actual Texas oil billionaires in the production of Dallas XXX, but D.Minion did not seem to focus on that aspect, at least during Day One of the production. Somehow we do not blame her. [FEATURED TAGS: Alexis Ford, India Summer]

Alexis Ford: Even Cooler than the Black Widow
6/22/12

Strangely enough Maverick has continued his commitment to having “Festive Fridays” this entire month with the conclusion of his Adult Industry Convention coverage today. Along the way, D.Minion passes us through the modern day Veronica Hart, and hopes we might even learn something in our travels. After all, hope does spring eternal in the human breast, and all. Come to think of it, that pretty much applies to porn conventions — well, the breast part at least — not so much the hope in some estimations. [FEATURED TAGS: Veronica Hart, Shayla LaVeaux, Cytherea Exclusive Video, Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Devinn Lane Exclusive Video, Teagan Presley, Capri Anderson, Lexi Belle, Jynx Maze, Sophie Dee, Phoenix Marie, Kayden Kross, Jessie Jane, Riley Reid, Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

Toni English and John Stagliano - as you know them.
6/21/12

Celebrating the first full day of summer, we find ourselves having taken some heat of late for being “too early” in our helpful reminders for people. It seems that we have inadvertently hindered the mystery of our sisters in CythereasWetWorld.com and Shayla.com by being too quick to point out when new posts arrive there, that people can also view here. Naturally we feel awful, and have resolved to mend our evil ways. After all, if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the bitchin’ … [FEATURED TAGS: Dee, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Juli Ashton Video, Inari Vachs, Rayveness] 

Dee
6/15/12

If you have to drive all the way out to the middle of the California desert, doing so in order that you might observe some very large-breasted naked women frolicking around does tend to make the trip less taxing. Of course when Kristal Summers, Summer Cummings, and Goldie (from the U.K., Maverick, so how about that?) decide to “frolic” you really might not know what to expect. Think “butt-stacking,” “hand-waving,” and large inflatable pool toys. … That’s what you guessed, right? [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers, Summer Cummings, Goldie, Jessica Drake, Alektra Blue, Jynx Maze, Sophie Dee, Alexis Texas, Kristina Rose, Bobbi Starr, Capri Anderson, Stormy Daniels, Kaylani Lei, Spencer Scott, Lexi Belle, Abella Anderson, Riley Reid, Tori Black, Belladonna, Cytherea, Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

Kristal Summers, Summer Cummings, and Goldie
6/13/12

For many people, “going through the Big D” refers to getting a divorce, those of course being the sophisticated country music fans among us. For the less enlightened, perhaps, the Big D might in fact mean Denver, but then depending upon where one lives, we suppose it could be like Decatur, Dubuque, Daytona, or maybe even Dublin. At Adam & Eve today, though, it means whatever Alexis Ford wants it to mean, and she picks “Dallas, XXX.” … Luuucy, she’s hooome … (Yeah, that was New York, we know. Whatever.) [FEATURED TAGS: Alexis Texas Exclusive Video]

Dallas XXX
6/11/12

We learned over the weekend that apparently a couple other groups in the country have a “Big Three” on staff. Hmm. Go figure. Of course our Big Three handle very important decisions like which beautiful naked porn star we get to talk about on which day, or which XXX movie we get to show off when. And another of our Big Three figures out how best to display these pithy and revealing insights, continually playing with new technology to accomplish these “nude by design” goals. (OK. So the third of our Big Three is basically in charge of Mexican food, but around here that’s very important.) All of that said, in deference to the Oklahoma City Thunder and Miami Heat fans, we will admit this: Your Big Threes are taller. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers, Cytherea Exclusive Video, Amytheist Stone Video, Taylor Anne Video, Michael Ninn]

Kristal Summers - Quite Content Being Short
6/9/12

Somehow we don’t seem to have seen as many fun bumper stickers driving around the LA freeways lately, although D.Minion found one she claims to identify with that said, “I’m a Raggedy Ann in a Barbie World.” Honestly, DM’s a lot more “Anne” rather than “Ann” but we try not to mention that to her very often, and we don’t talk about it certainly. How do you explain to people that the lead writer for your adult news site has the largest collection of Sonny and Cher collectibles you have ever seen, after all? Odd what motivates some people, although at least we understand the Shayla ones a lot more than Mary Kate and Ashley (also DM favorites). [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Olivia Parrish Exclusive Video, Cytherea Exclusive Video, Ginger Lynn, Christy Canyon, Sienna West, Bree Olsen, Jessie Andrews, Lily Carter, Kagney Linn Karter, Tori Black, Missy Rhodes, Selena Rose, Alexis Texas, Brooklyn Lee, Skin Diamond, Holly Michaels, Riley Reid, Kristina Rose, Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

The “Parrish” of Ms. LaVeaux
6/4/12

The reigning “Diminutive Minion” in our midst has always demonstrated a certain piquancy in her life — a trait that makes some degree of sense considering what we do for a living. True, the things that baffle her continues to grow as rapidly as technology moves forward, but D.Minion consistently maintains a keen devotion to the beautiful — and regularly nude — among us. Consequently, while DM can meander a bit in prose, we really can’t argue with her focus on Kristal Summers and Cytherea. … So we do not. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers, Cytherea Video, Michael Ninn]

Penthouse Poster
6/1/12

An ambitious Maverick has decided to update 247AdultStars.com every Friday this month, according to plan with (finally) the U.K. take on a new AVN approach this year to the AEE. We assume the 247 crew has set an unusual system in place to accomplish this goal, and have thus promised that we will vary our usual “oh, by the way” approach to their updates with coinciding entries of our own. Of course you likely have heard what “assume” does, and we all know to Beware Geeks Bearing Gifts. So caveat yada, yada … . (We made that last sentence up ourselves, but feel free to make it a common part of the American vernacular. It does have a certain flair.) [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers, Stoya, Jessie Andrews, Skin Diamond, Lily Carter, Holly Michaels, Kagney Linn Karter, Asa Akira, Gracie Glam, Alexis Texas, Kristina Rose, Bree Olsen, Lisa Ann, Sienna West, Emily Addison, Jesse Jane, Stoya, Kayden Kross, Riley Steele, BiBi Jones, Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

Alexis Texas & Cowgirl Friend

December 2011 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

12/31/11

As near as we can tell, today happens to be New Year’s eve, and most places around the world happen to celebrate the new year with substantially more vigor and glee than they do any of those gift-giving holidays. Of course the vast majority of the world has at least a culture, but often an entire political system, that stems in no small degree from religious persecution, so maybe that makes sense. After all, it seems very wise to focus more on a day of the year you won’t get shot for celebrating, right? For our part, we have decided to stick to our roots as well. What they lack in historic violence and upheaval, they more than make up for in fun and nudity. This doesn’t set the bar very high, we understand, but as a rule we tend to prefer simple goals. (You members may have noticed.) And if D.Minion happens to discover our camouflaged secret, well, we plan on employing the exact same New Year’s Resolution we enjoy every year: Blame Maverick for everything. [FEATURED TAGS: Georgia Adair Video]

Georgia Adair Preparing to Get Wild
12/27/11

People do sometimes contribute to their own “Birthday Party” as Shayla has decided to do so today. True to at least our form, she chose to celebrate “Holliday” over the Holidays, and offers up some insights as to what it’s like being in the middle of 30 or 40 women all having sex together. Sadly, none of us here can really comment on this experience first-hand, but we do have a great many folks willing to learn. We value education, after all. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video, Kylie Ireland Video, Serenity Video, Juli Ashton Video, Nina Hartley Video, Shawna Lenee] 

Nice Day for White Bedding
12/25/11

So did you sleep with thoughts of Sugar-Plums dancing through your head? Have you ever done that in your whole life? Would you even know a Sugar-Plum if it jumped out of the closet and bit you? And when is the last time you heard anyone exclaim, “My! What a clatter!” anyway? The fact that people around here spend time pondering such weighty issues serves as the only excuse I can think of for this Merry Christmas … um … Members’ Card. I worry about us sometimes. I really do. [FEATURED TAGS: Merry Christmas!]

COWards We Are Not
12/24/11

You may not find it intuitive, but the adult movie industry happens to display a great deal of holiday cheer among its members. Of course you can’t really have a properly caroling environment without Ebenezer Scrooge, and thus we speak today with sincere affection for our friend Gregory Dark. True, we have chosen to do so with the able assistance of Juli Ashton, Kelly O’Dell, Felecia, and Serenity, but in our defense we claimed to be festive — not foolish. Why listen to some old fat guy that’s not planning on dropping down any chimneys tonight when you fill your silent nights with young ladies clearly coming about midnight? … There are way too many seasonal songs to consider. We’d best stop now. [FEATURED TAGS: Juli Ashton Video, Kelly O’Dell Video, Felecia Video, Serenity Video]

Kelly. Do we hear what she hears?
12/21/11

This is the time of year where we all get a little nostalgic; we all feel a little more optimistic, a little more peaceful. Benevolent tendencies, long hidden throughout the year, come closer to the surface, and we allow ourselves to pause a few more times during the day, just to feel a part of Mother Earth. … Or if you happen to be like us, you praise Rednecks everywhere, and wonder why everyone doesn’t celebrate the way we do. You forgive them, however, because let’s face it: If you go around saying everything you really think, no one is ever going to give you a gift — at least not one you’ll want to receive. [FEATURED TAGS: Anais, Georgia Adair, Angel Cassidy, Wanda Curtis, Michael Ninn, Bree Olsen Video, Sunny Leone Video] 

Anais - Worth Receiving, Given the Chance
12/19/11

We all know ‘Tis the Season of Giving, but let’s be honest, it’s pretty fun to get new things too. And with any luck they won’t be the sorts of things that will live in a closet until next year when we can give them again. In a typically benevolent re-gifting game, then, we have decided to offer up some holiday gift suggestions before we shuttle everyone off to enjoy Cytherea playing fauna amongst the flora. D.Minion “naturally” adds her special touch, although DM can be a lot like a gift from a distant relative: You honestly appreciate it, but you’re just not quite sure how to explain it to anyone. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video]

Barely Concealed Reverence
12/15/11

Rarely do we link directly to 247AdultStars.com — preferring rather to heighten anticipation, sweeten the experience, and generally make it more pleasantly pithy. … It’s either that or we pretty much like any excuse to show off more naked women. Theories may vary. All of this goes by the wayside this season, however, as Dear Maverick, being from London and thus used to a depressing Christmas season until the very last minute, has seen fit to visit a few ghosts on a couple of Brit Porn Stars and convince them to film a special holiday greeting for the members. You know what? … God Bless Us, Every One[FEATURED TAGS: Anna Joy Exclusive Video, Tanya Cox Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

Tanya Cox - No Tease Involved
12/10/11

Contrary to D.Minion’s contention in the office, after making egg nog, they do not in fact use the rest of the animal to create Naugahyde seat covers. We try to be helpful with our insights here, just so no one gets confused as they go through life. You might consider, then, taking D.Minion’s view of Day Two of Ninn Worx’ House of Jordan shoot with a grain of salt — if not an entire spice rack. None of this detracts, however, from the 241 stellar photographs. … And how do we know these to be stellar photographs? Why all these women are stars, of course. [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Jordan, Alexis Love, Tiffany Sweet, Carli Banks, Michael Ninn]

This Little Light of Mine
12/7/11

You know those kind of “entertainment” things where folks get really sort of devious and sneak in little bits and pieces that presumably will teach us something? Sure, they couch it all in some general “Oh, my goodness, but this is a lot of fun!” sort of way, but it always sort of sounds like Tom Sawyer and that fence painting job? … You will be happy to know that for our part we are simply celebrating Chasey Lain’s birthday today, and if anyone learns anything, well, dang that ain’t our fault. How can porno be educational anyway? [FEATURED TAGS: Chasey Lain, Alexis DeVell, Shayla LaVeaux, Kaylan Nicole, Jewel, Emma Nixon]

Chasy Lain Would Make an Excellent Teacher, Though
12/4/11

We’ve heard a horrible rumor that some places out there have to deal with this bizarre phenomenon called “snow” — which basically sounds like a euphemism for “frozen water that can make life hell” if you want to know the truth. Having seen pictures of it on the news, we can tell you: It looks icky. We did want you to know, however, that we do have how own version of Snow out here, though, although admittedly ours happens to be of the “Aurora Snow” variety. … So you know what we call our Northern Lights? … Yep! … Aurora Areolas. (Sorry. We blame the cold — wherever it may be.) [FEATURED TAGS: Aurora Snow, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Phoenix Ray, Jessica Drake]

Shayla Demonstrates Our Version of the Full Moon
12/1/11

Anyone can do an interview, but very, very few people can do a “Ninnterview” as you’ll see easily. Also, anyone can crash a wedding, but only Cytherea can do it … well … like Cytherea does. And if these two quick introductions don’t make you want to see what’s on tap for today, then perhaps you should make an appointment with your family physician. You don’t feel well. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Brea Bennett Video, Jana Jordan Video, Renee Perez Video, Cassidey Video, Nikki Kane Video, Jennifer Dark, Alexis Love, Michael Ninn]

Cytherea - Overdressed for Crashing

May 2011 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

5/30/11

A great many things in life turn out to be memorable, and today (at least in America) we celebrate some of the most daring sacrifices in our history. We don’t as a rule wish misfortune, however severe, on any person, but the attack on our little benevolent site yesterday morning did manage to peeve us for a couple of hours. You may have noticed the “hacked” warnings if you tried to log on early in the day, which at least means the security settings are acting as programmed. It basically locks everything down so we can find the vermin and exterminate them, but that’s handy too. Having determined the cause of the problem, we will give them this bit of advice, should they be reading risque still: You should move. We know where you live. … On a much happier note, Shayla’s around once again and has helped us take our minds off of people that have nothing better to do than wreak random acts of digital violence. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux] 

Shayla's Definite Improvement on the Traditional Flagpole
5/27/11

Have you ever run across the perfect word, long forgotten in the recesses of your brain, and then found yourself using it all the time over the course of a day? Well that happened to us today, which wouldn’t be that odd except the word happens to be “sycophant” – which really shouldn’t apply all that often one would think. On the other hand we admittedly lead weird lives around here, and we do tend to rather appreciate the efforts of a clever sycophant, so there you go. Maverick also puts forth some effort to pun the last name of Tanya Cox, but compared to the $10 word effort, that just seemed rather simplistic. Regardless of literary merit, however, we’re thinking you will probably like the Tanya video on 247AdultStars.com better anyway. You just can’t reason with some people.  [FEATURED TAGS: Tanya Cox Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com] 

Tanya Cox, Sans Pox
5/26/11

So who even knew the wind could blow 200 mph on dry land? Presumably some people alive enough to pay attention to tornados back in 1974 might remember, but none of us around here falls into that category. (Well, Gibby and Steve might, but we didn’t ask them out of politeness.) Still, they call it “Mother Nature” for a reason, and we all remember a few times in our lives when mama just felt a need to make her presence more keenly felt – at least before a “time out” became a presumably reasonable method of punishment. In a rather more pleasant vein today, though, we give you Brea Bennett, playing her own version of a woman requiring attention. Interestingly enough, this lesson doesn’t suck at all. [FEATURED TAGS: Brea Bennett Video, Jayme Langford Video, Michael Ninn]

The Eyes of Brea's Storm
5/22/11

Don’t you just hate it when you feel like a complete idiot? All this time we’ve been worried about the NFL Labor Dispute (with capital letters, don’t you know), and the whole time we could have been watching the new Lingerie Football League. OK. So the web site(s) are designed poorly, featuring a user interface baffling to even those of us that do this for a living. Worse, every time you land on a page, when it finally loads, a process that takes way too long (because of poor implementation to go along with the poor design), it will start making horribly loud sounds without you doing a thing. This has been the benchmark for “amateur” for at least the last ten years in web development, by the way. And don’t even get us started on the use of all caps in the meta tags. … Despite all that, though, the League features women playing tackle football in amazingly skimpy outfits. Tom Brady can now just keep on suing whomever he wants for as long as he wants. We’re happy. … Oh! And you can hear about Shayla LaVeaux playing with herself today too. We forgot to mention. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Brittany Andrews]

Brittany Andrews should be in the Lingerie Football League. Right?
5/19/11

You can probably think of a great many ways to apologize, without ever admitting any culpability, of course, because otherwise where’s the skill in that? In our particular case, however, we’ll have to admit it becomes a heck of a lot easier if you have a bunch of Anais footage tucked away. You may have considered as you’ve gone through life, that very beautiful people just don’t seem to live under the same set of rules as the rest of us. Now we’re not arguing with that assessment at all, but we will say that it’s darned handy to have a few of them as friends every once in awhile. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Anais Video, Michael Ninn]

Cytherea Helping Apologize Too
5/17/11

Speaking of “Capri” (and D.Minion does that today) … but strange shortish pants don’t encompass the bigger issue here. We need to set the stage a bit … So if you decide to hire a new secretary, and you decide to hire Cytherea for the job. And then if she decides to have sex in the office, you really should think about covering your computers in plastic or something. And if she decides to make that sex a 3-way, and you’re not invited to be one of the three, well, you should probably still get the plastic anyway – and maybe one of those shop vacuums that sucks up liquids too. That would be handy. And finally, you probably never, ever, want Cytherea and D.Minion to roam around the office when you’re not there. Hypothetically[FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Lylith LaVey]

Honestly, a REAL Secretarial Pool
5/13/11

Many, many types of smiles can play across a woman’s face, and if men spent more time looking at that part of the female anatomy, we might actually learn to recognize them. … That said, trying to understand women, and Friday the Thirteenth at the same time really seems like too much scariness at one time. Y’all (well, all the Members) can consider Office Darling Capri Anderson her beatific smiles. … Fun word, beatific … (Maybe the world needs more Tifics. You think?).  [FEATURED TAGS: Capri Anderson Exclusive Video, Bree Olsen]

Smile Looks Beatic to Us
5/9/11

For some odd reason, the post for May 1st didn’t seem to go up until after the post for May 5th – and both of them apparently added a day to their intended debuts. While this sort of messes up the whole Cinco de Mayo celebration thing, it does in retrospect demonstrate a May Day! May Day! concept that we pretty much live by all year long. … If you haven’t visited in the last few days it shouldn’t matter, but if have stopped by already this past weekend, you might pop on back to May 2nd (now) and be sure you’re caught up. Actually once you read that particular entry, you can probably guess what happened too. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Raquel Devine]

Something Other Than Code Work
5/6/11

Alfred Hitchcock once said, “There is nothing quite so good as burial at sea. It is simple, tidy, and not very incriminating.” … Given the events of this past week, that seems an oddly prescient view, don’t you think? … Fortunately for those of us not completely fixated on military spending all the time, we have a rather more enjoyable reason to use a couple of different Alfred Hitchcock quotes as D.Minion finishes up her on-the-set piece for Erica McLean’s Flying Pink Pig. If you think about it, this too can tie into more mainstream current events, as we can all be sure that this will be exactly when the government tells us the complete story about anything – when pigs fly. (All things considered, that’s probably a good thing, however.)  [FEATURED TAGS:  Sunny Lane, Nicki Hunter, Emy Reyes, Tessa Taylor, Megan Foxx, Exclusive Video, Erica McLean]

Sunny Lane Explaining How Pigs Can Fly
5/2/11

If you happen to be a male, and you happen to have ever been stuck in a store while a woman tried on a bunch of clothes, then you have a keen understanding of how difficult it can be to look absolutely nowhere at all, yet still keep your eyes open. On the other hand, if instead you happen to be at a shoot with a porn star while she tries on a bunch of different clothes, well, the experience differs dramatically. Basically, you just don’t feel like closing your eyes even for a moment. If all department stores employed porn stars, it would bring a whole level of enjoyment to that boring shopping exercise.  [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Kristal Summers Video]

Cytherea Sans Pantalones

April 2011 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

4/30/11

So apparently they had this big wedding yesterday, and insane people over here stayed up until all hours of the morning just to watch it on TV? Well, we can’t say that this makes any sense to us California folks, but then we’ve heard the same thing said about us from other parts of the country. Did you ever embrace a reflective moment and think about just how you ended up where you did in your life? Presumably people in prison do this with some regularity, but fortunately today we’re not talking about weddings or incarceration – either of these sad situations. Today we sit down with Shayla and consider the “Origins of Porn Woman” and be honestly thrilled that the entire world doesn’t watch everything we do. Seriously. That sounds icky, right? [FEATURED TAGS: Alexis DeVell, AEE 2011, Shayla LaVeaux, Julia Ann, Cheyenne Silver, Inari Vachs, Tori Black, Tanya Tate, Phoenix Marie, Bobbi Starr, Andy San Dimas, Jesse Jane, Shy Love, Selena Rose, Natasha Nice, Kayden Kross, Jessica Drake, Riley Steele, Dana DeArmond, Bree Olsen, Prinzzess, Lupe Fuentes, Joanna Angel, Anna Lovato, Jynx Maze, Kristen Rose, Lexi Belle, Breanne Benson, Nina Hartley, Monique Alexander, Stoya, Andy San Dimas, Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com

The DeVell Made Us Do It
4/28/11

You know what colloquialisms are we assume? OK. So most of us have at least heard the word, and we probably have some vague idea of the meaning, although that may or may not be true. After all, it’s not like you have occasion to throw that particular English language tidbit into a conversation every day. And if you have one thing, like a colloquialism, for example, don’t sound principles of physics dictate that its direct opposite be possible too? So what’s the opposite of a colloquialism? … If you’re confused, you’ve now perfectly prepared yourself to match our condition today, so all you Members can now feel free to enter. On the upside, we do have Renee Perez playing in the shower this time around, and basically that’s not very confusing at all. [FEATURED TAGS: Renee Perez Video, Michael Ninn]

Renee Perez, Disconcerting, but not Confusing
4/22/11

There are many, many ways to say Happy Birthday across the globe, yet all of them mean, “Gosh, you’re even older than you were yesterday.” As our friends get older, we have noticed a tendency to buy them gifts that we hope to get back in inheritance, though, but that’s OK, right? We should be practical after all. Also, we’re going to stop writing now so that El Jefe doesn’t have enough clues to figure out which of us wrote this introduction. Practical … [FEATURED TAGS: Tanya Cox, “The Snatch Game” ]

Tanya a la Mav - Good Dessert When You Can Get It
4/21/11

Just in case you’re ever curious, you should know that the only people that ever win in a lawsuit are the lawyers. Legal fights beat you up financially, emotionally, and depending upon how long they drag on, even spiritually. They’re not fun. Sadly, however, they are sometimes necessary. As we understand it, you’ve got to stand for something or you’ll fall for anything. All in all, the only thing you really learn from lawsuits boils down to an addition to your list of people with whom you never want to have to see ever again in your life. Sometimes the lawyers don’t end up being first on that list, but they always make the list for sure. Even for attorneys, though, all good things must come to an end, and eventually even the most acrimonious of disputes reaches some form of resolution. Today would be such a day. … Whew. [FEATURED TAGS: Vicca, Nikita, Juli Ashton, Felecia, Anna Malle, Asia Carrera, Ron Jeremy, Ninn Video, Michael Ninn]

Nikita in an Act of Little Dispute
4/18/19

Most of us would agree that only a few things in life can annoy us as much as paying taxes. We all see the need for them in the abstract, and quite honestly see the value in government services and the philanthropic concepts of helping those less fortunate than ourselves. When theory crashes into personal reality, however, you can almost hear a universal whining. If you don’t believe that just listen to the richest 10% of the people in the country bellow and start talking about the President’s citizenship every time he dares suggest they should probably try to contribute a little more to help the country get out of its economic mess – that he didn’t create, by the way, but let’s not get too bogged down in politics. … In that non-political spirit we’re dishing up our own risque brand of tax relief today. We’d be willing to bet that if you love it or hate it, you’re decision will have nothing whatsoever to with your party affiliation. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Lylith LaVey]

Cytherea Demonstrating that Some Jobs are Better Than Others
4/15/11

Does anyone else wonder why today doesn’t qualify as Tax Day, even though it’s a Friday and not a weekend? Nope. We didn’t either. We just said, “Whoopie! We get extra time this year!” … Of course none of us really need the extra time because we always do our taxes in January so we don’t even have to worry about it anymore. Yep. That’s our story, and we’re stickin’ to it. … You’ll find other words (and pictures) of wisdom in A Dawning today as well. What an excellent Friday. [FEATURED TAGS: Audrey Hollander, Heather Vuur, Heather Vandeven, Jassie, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Michael Ninn]

Jassie - Containing her Glee
4/12/11

We would love to say that we spend hours and hours thinking up clever titles for our ever-so-insightful commentary on the risque commune sites, but that wouldn’t technically be true. Generally someone just pops off with something, the others laugh, and that’s what we go with. Sometimes, though, a couple of very good ideas get thrown into the mix, and then we have a debate, granted about the silliest of things. (That’s what Americans do, as any analysis of professional sports or politics will clearly illustrate.) Today we had “Sheen without Luster” as well as “Sheen and Lust Her” as options that we just couldn’t reach consensus on. D.Minion said she’d decide, since it was her story, after all. … Naturally D.Minion picked a third title. … It’s good to be Queen. We’re not so sure about being a Goddess, however.  [FEATURED TAGS: Capri Anderson, Bree Olsen Video]

Capri Anderson: A Goddess Spurned
4/6/11

Back before he started making sausage, Jimmy Dean recorded a song with a chorus that began, “I won’t go huntin’ with you, Jake, but I’ll go chasin’ women.” Most of you will probably be glad to hear that this does not happen to be the song in which you can find Shayla naked in the music video. That said, as between early 1950’s country music – Ice T’s “Body Count” – and sausage, we can’t honestly say which we’d like to see made less. Shayla dancing naked is always good, however. [FEATURED TAGS: Justine Joli]

It's Art. Honest.
4/3/11

Last night we learned the Butler did it, if UConn believe that. … And if you don’t follow college basketball, or if you happen to be reading this years from now, that will make no sense at all. Fortunately, sexy women do tend toward the timeless and universally understood, so don’t worry yourself too much about the “strangest of the strange” around here. Both Shayla LaVeaux and Cheyenne Silver give reports today on the most recent AEE, and 247AdultStars chimes in with “visitors” Lon and D.Minion as well. All it all it’s very confusing. So go slowly and remember to breathe. Ice cream might help too. … And for all you authors that hurried your reports in because we were going to publish this a couple of days ago … um … April Fool’s. (Hey we couldn’t have used the amazingly clever and hysterical Butler/UConn comment on April 1st. See? Things tend to work out.) [FEATURED TAGS: AEE 2011, Shayla LaVeaux, Cheyenne Silver, Cytherea, Katsuni, Prinzzess, Alektra Blue, Syren, Exclusive Video]

Cheyenne Silver & Prinzzess - Fools be They NOT