The Feeling of “The Four”
by Simple Simon
[Editor’s Note: You always worry when an article actually starts with an editor’s note, right? Well, visitors here on the free area of Risqué Business may not be aware of the long, varied — and on occasion absolutely bizarre — relationship we have had with Michael Ninn for a time going on two decades now. Consequently, they may not understand the esteem in which we all hold him, and thus may attach feelings of ill will to blatant sarcasm when cast in his direction. We can assure you that to a person we admire the genius of Michael Ninn, a standard honestly quite easily adhered to by our habit of firing anyone that disagrees with this assessment. We live by a simple tenet in this case: While we can make fun of our friend, we do not always take kindly to criticism coming from outside the family. (On occasion we might even get peeved. … On the other hand, mostly we ignore everything outside the family, so you’re probably safe after all.) At any rate, please take the following “synopsis” in the good spirit in which we intended it. The editor will be stopping now, as parenthetical phrases within an editor’s note just seem way out of line.]
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Hey, if you can’t beat ’em, set about changing the rules. … That’s how we approach the issue. Understanding this, we have for some time believed that we really need to have our own personal Deity. Think how much easier life would be if you could just call upon a ZOT any time you wanted. True, it might not make you any more real friends in life, but the people around you would be a heck of a lot nicer, we’re betting. Toward that end, be prepared to be all dazzled and shit:
